Cornstarch Awesomeness

From BoingBoing via Neatorama, this is a cornstarch and water mix on a metal sheet on a subwoofer. How did that thought process evolve? Who cares. Behold: super-awesomeness -

Gramm's "Whiners" Video

If you haven't seen Phil Gramm's (John McCain's super-buddy) saying that nothing is as bad as everyone says it is, that America is a nation of whiners, here you go (yay America Blog!) -



I keep hearing that from Rush too. Why is it that rich, white Republican nutters have absolutely no awareness of the trouble middle and lower class folks are having?

Because they're rich and do not have to associate with - let alone talk about - the proletariat. The only solace is that when we hear them talk we can hear America collectively sigh and reply "what a fucking moron."

Clarity: I'm not mad at the rich, but frustrated with the laissez-faire, let-them-eat-cake attitude and the cognitive pattern of a 3 year old that says "I'm fat and happy so everyone must fat and be happy! Let's clap!"

Us, Israel, Iraq, Iran

Just to be clear: we're using a country we invaded and are now occupying to give the nod to Israel to stretch their military legs (all three) and practice for a military strike against Iran which will most certainly start another war for which we are not equipped but will certainly become a part.

Either there is some sort of upper-echelon illuminati thing going on or Bush sees us in the Middle East as a kegger: "Hey, it's all good, come on over - byo bombs! Just kiddin' we've got tons more if you need them."

Quick recap: either we or Israel attack Iran and the fold-in begins: China dumps its currency and activates 300,000 troops, crippling us economically, dwarfing us militarily; Russia jumps in on their side with North Korea. And we're done. Because we're already barely managing two fronts - a third would knock us down and 2 new world power enemies would be very, very bad. And once the rest of the world sees us knocked down a peg, it's open season gangbang time.

Every day it's closer. Get your duct tape.

Those Crazy Black Republicans

Oooh, item! Michael Steele showed up in my inbox today (naughty!) shilling for the GOP. I guess we should up the black Republican count to three now.

Michael Steele,

You do realize that if half the GOP lived their sweetest, purest dreams, you'd be their pool boy? Or driver? Or cook - if they didn't mind black people cooking their food?

Final thought: I know rich Democrats; I know struggling Democrats; I know rich Republicans; I know of no struggling Republicans. Says a lot.

Little Green Army Men Project

From i-Report:

Mrs. Graves' World History class at Flagler Palm Coast High School is working on a memorial project. They are collecting one little green plastic army man figure for each of the fallen troops in the Iraqi War. It was a lesson started after reading about a class doing something similar for holocaust survivors in Tennessee. This was designed to give the students a better concept of the numbers lost in the war. Also, a way to memorialize them. Each student was allowed to donate one figure, and then they had to get donations of the rest as a way of getting community involvement. Donations have come from as far away as New Jersey and Arizona. The project is in need of more army men donations, as well as pictures of the personnel listed above the display, which is in the main hallway of the high school. The students will continue adding to the memorial as long as necessary, and then maintain the memorial as a lasting tribute to the fallen, but not forgotten. This was designed not as a statement of what is "right" or "wrong" with the war. It is a way to show that it is more than just numbers or names, but memories of people who served with integrity, courage, and honor. This project is about the people, not the politics. Donations of plastic army men or pictures of fallen personnel may be sent to:
Mrs. Mimi Graves
C/0 Flagler Palm Coast High School
5500 E. Hwy. 100
Palm Coast, FL 32164

Hey, About that Timeline...

Grumble grumble grumble, quip the administration. Cheese-eating traitor-monkey, grumbles talk radio. How about 100 years, cheeses McBush. How dare you talk about a timeline for withdrawal!

Iraq's national security adviser said Tuesday his country will not accept any security deal with the United States unless it contains specific dates for the withdrawal of U.S.-led forces.

Oh shit. They not only realize we're binding them but want to actually throw off the chains. Could we potentially start a war with the unripened fruits of our war simply because we didn't want to stop playing war?

Or we could leave and free up those troops for the upcoming war with Iran.

Hannity Shenanigans - Douchebaggery!

Hannity Shenanigans. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

I'm listening right now to the douchbaggery we all know and love as Sean Hannity's radio show. He just asked a caller who brought up Bush's approval rating to name "one significant, meaningful accomplishment" that the US Congress - which apparently has a lower rating than Bushbag - has achieved. The caller responded that Congress raised minimum wage. Hannity hit back: "I said a significant, meaningful accomplishment." Caller repeated "minimum wage." And then Sean switched it up to Minimum wage? They've been in power two years and that's all they've done?"

If your brain shut off at Sean's name, he just asked for a single significant accomplishment and when that was met said one was not enough.

Sean went on to talk to another caller who wanted to discuss Obama's support of criminals who have paid their debt to society and need to start again. "Okay, he supports felons" was what Sean immediately turned it into. What the fuckery?

ugh...need to stop today...just said Obama "has nothing of core values or beliefs."

In honor of this idiocy and twistaroundery, I'm working on a photoshop of "Hannity as Assclown."

Coming soon.

And So I'm Back, From Outer Space - Post-4th Action

Happy belated 4th of July where, just like the rest of America, you can celebrate your right to sit still in your camping chair and observe the big fireworks but not legally participate in their creation or explosion. Awww, don't be sad. Here: you're allowed to have a sparkler.

But, hey, let's not get all down on America on America's birthday (I said "get all down" - of course we'll go down on her later), the midwives of our country like Washington and Franklin and Hancock didn't know what kind of douchebags would be running the country some 200 years later. Instead, let's celebrate America:


America Rules England Sucks - Watch more free videos

Amen, SuperJesus.

Applesauce Hay!

I'm out of town, for the holiday weekend, but the umbilical will still feed me by either my parents' broadband or with mobile blogging, through the ether.

Have a great 4th. I'll miss you.

Buchanan and Hate: Late, Ignorant, Dobson-Lovin' Rant-o-Rama

In an article that appeared in my inbox today, I was dumbfounded by the late-to-the-party article put forth by Pat Buchanan in which he supported the bigot Dobson and slammed Obama:

"Even ... if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States ... whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's or with Al Sharpton's?"

Barack was saying that, since Christians disagree deeply over what is biblical truth, why fight? Let us "try to translate some of our concerns in a universal language so that we can have an open and vigorous debate rather than have religion divide us."

In Catholicism, this is the heresy of indifferentism, which holds that one religion is just as good as another and all religions can be a path to salvation. The Pew poll out last week reveals that 82 percent of Protestants believe there are multiple paths to salvation, as do 79 percent of Catholics and 57 percent of evangelicals.

A striking development. For did not Christ say, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"?

Dr. Dobson is having none of it.

Instead of towing the hate line and using devisive arguments and being such a fucking tool, perhaps Buchanan should take a look at his words.

Obama is promoting unity, not the hard-line version of any specific Christianity. But as Obama approaches unity, absurdity approaches infinity, and Buchanan attacks with "In Catholicism" that's heresy! Of course it is; Catholics are supposed to believe that anyone who's not Catholic will go to hell, and even if you are Catholic, if you use birth control or swear and don't go to confession you're going to hell. Then he brings up Protestants and Evangelicals, who are only Protestants and Evangelicals because at some point in their history, they split from the Catholic Church because they didn't believe in Catholic nuance. And instead of becoming heretical, they organized their own churches, and the Evangelicals have a similar "My way or hell" attitude towards any other Christian sects - including Catholics.

For did not Christ say, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"?

Yes, he did, and we have all these Christian sects, all of whom believe in Jesus Christ as the savior, we have Catholics and Greek Orthodox and Methodists and Lutherans and Baptists and even the fucking Amish who are all part of the sects they are part of because so many people have so many differing opinions about exactly what that quote means.

And then he supports Dobson - who is "having none of it" - as some sort of sanctimonious overlord when he's part and parcel of the whole ball of intolerance that led to these splits in the first place, these splits that Buchanan soon after magically transports to the future (as though God spawned all versions of Christianity just as they are right now) and spurned on by the two things Republicans can't stand: them damn homos and women seeking equality:

It is splitting the Episcopalians. A traditionalist minority has severed communion over female bishops and homosexual marriages.

Layer one of suck on this article is the sheer religious ignorance with which it is put forth; I have never read something so intentionally biased and twisted and intolerant and unintentionally ignorant and hypocritical, a popsicle-stick tower bound by chewed gum and scotch tape, crafted in the bowels of the incontinent and fired in a high school kiln to focus a single, shaking, ossified finger at a public figure to compliment the frothy-lipped, spittle-spouting, growling "Yoooouuuuu!"

Layer two of suck on this article is, while completely void of actual, informed content, for every one of me reading it and deconstructing it and flicking my finger and watching Achilles collapse, there are thousands upon thousands of ignorant Republicans reading that same article and nodding their heads in agreement, mumbling "Fuck yeah, damn Muslims," and passing the word at work or in the bar that Pat Buchanan even said Obama's not a good Christian.

And that is what we're fighting: ignorance. And we will continue to fight it. And it is hard and will continue to be hard because misinformation is purposefully simplistic and simplistic is easy and thinking is hard and people are busy and stressed and don't have time for hard. Or research. Or truth.

And war is complicated and war is hard and religion is complicated and religion is hard and Ay-rabs is Muslims is Terr'rists is Hatin' 'Merica is pretty fucking easy.

And Pat Buchanan should fucking know better.

Back Scratching

This is not a euphemism about something naughty or sexual or ...perhaps it should be?

No, I'm here to tell you to scratch your back. Often.

I've been living for the last few weeks with a marginally incessant itch below my left shoulder blade. Soon after discovering the itch, I remembered I had a back-scratcher - something I never thought I would use, let alone have need for but had been provided by a relative at a Christmas gathering a year or two ago.

And I scratched.

And it felt fucking amazing. I think it was a combination of a basic itch that needed to be scratched, the almost-immediate resolution of something that should have been me back-humping the floor, the actual scratching, and the brilliance that I attributed to myself for making myself more comfortable.

Either way, buy yourself a simple back scratcher. Scratch your own back on occasion. You'll feel better, even if you don't itch. It's the closest you'll ever get to a hug from someone else, sans said someone else: self-contentment.

No, I'm not going through the self-pleasure portal for this post. Staying practical. But stay tuned...

You-Tubery and ... MRirian/Magibon

WTF?

...and after some research, no, there is no reason. With 55,600+ subscribers to her YouTube channel, over 2.5 million views, it appears we have someone who has successfully - with the magic of anime eyes the size of dinner plates - marketed herself, marketed a username, is probably 15 years old, but has nothing to offer - except that she has anime eyes, says she's 21, and looks 15. 55K? Creepy.

This makes Andy Warhol and Baby Jesus cry.

Lorem Ipsum, Catullus, Bukowski

The traditional filler text of graphic designers and web developers does have meaning. Love it.

Neither is there anyone who loves grief itself since it is grief and thus wants to obtain it

What the fuck was Cicero talking about?

I prefer Catullus:

Advice: to himself

Sad Catullus, stop playing the fool,
and let what you know leads you to ruin, end.
Once, bright days shone for you,
when you came often drawn to the girl
loved as no other will be loved by you.
Then there were many pleasures with her,
that you wished, and the girl not unwilling,
truly the bright days shone for you.
And now she no longer wants you: and you
weak man, be unwilling to chase what flees,
or live in misery: be strong-minded, stand firm.
Goodbye girl, now Catullus is firm,
he doesn’t search for you, won’t ask unwillingly.
But you’ll grieve, when nobody asks.
Woe to you, wicked girl, what life’s left for you?
Who’ll submit to you now? Who’ll see your beauty?
Who now will you love? Whose will they say you’ll be?
Who will you kiss? Whose lips will you bite?
But you, Catullus, be resolved to be firm.

...which leads me to Bukowski:

one thirty-six a.m.

I laugh sometimes when I think about
say
Céline at a typewriter
or Dostoevsky...
or Hamsun...
ordinary men with feet, ears, eyes,
ordinary men with hair on their heads
sitting there typing words
while having difficulties with life
while being puzzled almost to madness.

Dostoevsky gets up
he leaves the machine to piss,
comes back
drinks a glass of milk and thinks about
the casino and
the roulette wheel.

Céline stops, gets up, walks to the
window, looks out, thinks, my last patient
died today, I won't have to make any more
visits there.
when I saw him last
he paid his doctor bill;
it's those who don't pay their bills,
they live on and on.
Céline walks back, sits down at the
machine
is still for a good two minutes
then begins to type.

Hamsun stands over his machine thinking,
I wonder if they are going to believe
all these things I write?
he sits down, begins to type.
he doesn't know what a writer's block
is:
he's a prolific son-of-a-bitch
damn near as magnificent as
the sun.
he types away.

and I laugh
not out loud
but all up and down these walls, these
dirty yellow and blue walls
my white cat asleep on the
table
hiding his eyes from the
light.

he's not alone tonight
and neither am
I.

We're gonna need a bigger beer.

Apocalyptica

Sometimes I find myself as the "new guy" to something I think I should've known about. Thus is my knowledge of Apocalyptica: playing in a bike shop down the road, someone commented on the music - Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, but done with cellos - saying "Is this Apocalyptica?"

What what?

Here is the video.

BBC Goatse ...SFW

This video is completely SFW, a clip from the BBC. But before you see it, if you do not know goatse, you need to do something not necessarily safe for work: a Google Image Search for "goatse.jpg" - filters off - and prepare to be horrified. You'll know when you've found the right one. You will also see that this image has spawned many homages and sightings. Then mark your calendar for your first goatse, bookmark it to horrify your friends, and go take a shower.

Now that I've ruined the internets for you, enjoy the video.



...next week, tub girl? 2 girls 1 cup?

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Yes. Yes, it is.



...and something completely tasteless to go along with it...

Is Your Mayo Gay?

Bunch of pussies over at Heinz. I think the spot is cute.



And for the love of all things holy: No, that is not Robert De Nero, but it would've been even better if it was.

James Dobson Attacks Obama, Round II

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Fire Footbag Fun

Why hasn't anyone tried to marry footbags and fire before now?



Danger + fun = super fun! No, really. I want one.

Freedom Footbags via DVICE.

What I'm Reading Now - Perdido Street Station

One of my close friends told me, 5 or 6 years ago, that I needed to read Perdido Street Station. 4 years ago, he hunted down China Miéville, from whom he purchased a copy, who wrote on the title page:

To [Ricky],

For God's sake, man,
listen to your friend,

Imploringly,
China Miéville

If only I'd known.

    What are you doing here, so far from home? thought Isaac with wonder. Look at the color of you: you're from the desert! You must have come miles and miles, from the Cymek. What the spit are you doing here, you impressive fucker?
    He almost shook his head with awe at the great predator before he cleared his throat and spoke.
    "Can I help you?"

Tasty, in all it's flavors. I should've done this long ago.

36 pages, and I can't wait for the next 10 minutes of free time.

China: Amen.