CDC: OMG We Just Watched the Internets!

Apparently a bunch of kids all over America are car surfing and video taping it and posting it to YouTube (hey retards, that's proof). And some kid got hurt and his mom works at the CDC and they all took a break over there and did a working lunch on Betty's computer - cause her internet isn't so slow - and watched the YouTube.

And they freaked the fuck out and issued a press release: "OMG guyz, hay the ridn outsid carz i's dangers!"

Quick question for the CDC:



Where the fuck were you in 1985 when Michael J. Fox showed us exactly how cool this could be?

Partnership for a McCain-Free White House

Your folks may be engaging in risky behavior. Talk to your parents about McCain. Yes. It's that important. From MoveOn.org

La Pequena Sarah Palin!

This will make your day. All thanks to Monkey.

Obama McCain Debate - End Retch!

No more Red Bull before public appearances. Please.

So last night.

Yeah.

McCain v.3.9.00.21 was interesting.

What did we learn? That McCain's abnormally stiff thumbs (he was a P.O.W., you know), must be a favorite of Cindy's, and that John's jaw harbors a parasitic twin.

In the picture above, it's the very end of the debate, McCain actually shook Obama's hand - frantically and vigorously - and is bouncing back and forth like a pinball to figure out how to get to the other side of a relatively small table in order to shake Bob Schieffer's hand. My guess: Adderall and three Jäger-Bombs. The freeze frame will probably be spun by the right as a "good-natured show of exasperation."

This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

And if you missed it, last night's unidentifiable noise was the death rattle of the McCain campaign.

Full point-by-point will appear at All Things Democrat later today.

Skylar's Art of Five

My niece, Skylar, recently turned 5. She's always handing out drawings, but for some reason I had to talk her into letting me keep this one.

Captions requested as I can't quite get my head around the Gestalt of the thing.

Computer Says No

Late on this bus again. How did I miss Little Britain?

Blogger Template Upgrade - Wha-what?

I've done some things in the past 2 years to personalize my blog space, and then they go all "you've gotta upgrade!" on me.

So today I upgrade, which of course means I'll lose many of my mods. Luckily, I'm due for a revamping, and will probably add a new header, clean up the look from this tired old polka-dotted template. Also, being a web developer, it doesn't make me nervous, just frustrated at the amount of time I'm going to have to spend. But I want to include a follower widget, link to my twitter, etc.

It'll be better for all of us.

So if shit gets flooby in the next few hours, don't freak. It'll be okay. Soon.

And don't forget to do that follow thing: all the cool kids are.

More McCain/Palin Supporter Racism

Almost 3 minutes of stomach-churning, racist, ignorance. Johnstown, PA Palin rally.

T-Shirt Hell: Happy Shirts!

It's T-Shirt Hell. What the fuck did you expect?

In Case Youse Forgots: Obama is a Muslim

There is a large faction of nutters out there who - despite every credible resource - believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is not an American Citizen. If you found the McCain Palin mob disturbing, I pulled this mentally challenged rant off an "Invade Iran" blog (no link, bitches!) that was hosting a version of the "Obama is Not American" video:

This is absolutely unbelievable! Everyone is running around trying to prove that this Muslim is NOT an American citizen. We don't have to prove he is not an American citizen damn it! This sorry SOB and the Democratic party have got to prove THAT HE IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! Mr. Berg has gone the extra mile...AND THEN SOME...to prove that Obama is NOT an American Citizen and therefore not eligible to run for President of The United States of America because of the fraud perpetrated on American Citizens who seem hell bent on letting this TROJAN HORSE march right into our White House with the Koran under his arm, burn our flag, destroy our bibles, tramp on our constitution and aid and abed the One World Order in their quest to destroy our country! This man went to the same schools that our worst enemies attended. He boldly acknowledges friendships with terrorists that wish to destroy our Nation and everything it represents. He repeats over and over again that he represents "Change". Hell yes he does! He intends to change our country into a Global melting pot under the Kuran! He keeps repeating that "our" economy is a "Global Problem requiring Global solutions" and his followers just keep chanting "Change! Change! Change!...instead of reading between the lines!" like ignorant children following the pied piper they march right along behind the biggest lie ever perpetrated on Americans! The man is evil incarnate people! Both he and the Democratic party refused to produce the 3 documents Berg has repeatedly requested and which any of you could easily produce! Instead he and the Democratic Party request and are provided legal immunity by the Court!They have been told they do not HAVE to produce them... Fine! But how does not "having" to produce them prove that the man IS an American Citizen? To the contrary, does that action not at least suggest that the documents CANNOT be produced because the do not exist? Ergo...the man cannot or will not prove he is an American Citizen and therefore is NOT elligible for either the office of the Senate or the Presidency of the United States of America!!!
...So file suit against the Democratic party forcing them to either provide a legitimate replacement or concede the election to the Republican candidate! Are there guns to everyones heads in the news media?
Why does Bill O'Reilly insist the man IS an American Citizen without offering more proof than the forged Birth Certificate posted on Obama's web sited? !!! This is your country people...are you just going to turn it over to a Muslim?
Good God in Heaven!...Please help us!

Holy Cocksmoke, the Right's Diggin' DEEP!

I collect the email releases from Human Events so you don't have to. Sometimes it's a stock tip from Ann Coulter, sometimes a sweet letter from Old man Gingrich, and sometimes a fringe doctor pushing the real cure to high cholesterol.

And sometimes it blows my fucking mind.

Just in: Obama is linked to 9/11 terrorists.

Obama's Plan: Mohamed Atta Gets His Driver's License

Did you know that Mohamed Atta, the 9/11 ring leader, had a valid Florida driver's license?

Did you know 13 of the 19 hijackers had obtained valid driver's licenses? Armed with these licenses, eight of the hijackers even registered to vote!

Here is the shocking fact: Obama strongly supports giving illegal aliens in America driver's licenses.

He said as much during two Democratic debates earlier this year.

The head of Homeland Security said such thinking was dangerous for national security.
...
We have no doubt that, as president, Obama will also champion this radical plan.

With Osama bin Laden still at large, with al-Qaida promising "spectacular" attacks on the U.S homeland, with the threat of them using weapons of mass destruction against our cities - biological, chemical, and nuclear - can we risk putting such a man in the Oval Office?

Doesn't he remember what happened on 9/11? More than 3,000 Americans were murdered.

Doesn't he want to prevent that from ever happening again?

If he supports driver's licenses for illegals, the answer is clear.

Hold the fucking phone. I realize every righty scared of blackie will read this and grunt "ummm-huh!" but it doesn't even make sense.

DID YOU KNOW: All of the 9/11 terrorists entered the USA legally on temporary visas? That means that the terrorists were here legally, and probably obtained a legal license, just like you would if you had a visa to France.

So if it's all bullshit, what's the purpose?

Another unfounded reason to attach the terrorist tag to Obama.

Fucking madness.

I can't wait until 11/4.

McCain-Palin Mob

Terrifying. They're about as well-informed as Palin.



(from Blogger Interrupted via C&L)

Ode to Sean Hannity

Found here:

Ode to Sean Hannity

by John Cleese

Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity

Fishy Australian Scientists

From here:



Hundreds of new marine Australian Scientists have been under our nose all along, all different species, oddly enough. A real boon for the marine biology folks who, it appears, will be studying themselves.

That One

The last 24 hours have been really exciting.

I'll be posting some point-by-point over at All Things Democrat which, if you haven't been, is now a forum as opposed to a blog. Still a great site, just more voice for everyone.

But let's get to some videos.

Today McCain apparently thought he was campaigning for President of his Cell Block:




If you haven't heard about it yet, you will. At one point in last night's debate, McCain, without looking at him, pointed at Barack Obama as "that one." Holy shitake! I was expecting "boy" next, closely followed by "my negro friend." What the fuck?




And, of course, the final snub of the night. It's past McCain's bedtime and he hasn't eaten so he can take his back pills, so he refuses to shake Obama's hand and rushes out of there as Obama stays to visit and speak with audience members.



Love that snub.

You Wouldn't Like [McCain] Angry

Brave New Films:

Citizenship Question: Frisky Dingo

Yes, I did this.

Veep Debate: On a Parental Note...

Forgot to bring up this point last week:

I realize that the knee-jerk reaction of the of the right wing at the end of the VP debate made a quick transition from "Woot woot woot, she didn't shit the bed!" to "Awww, she brought da baby!"

Quick question popped up in my head: "What the fuck kind of parent are you to haul a special needs kid out on national stage at 11pm?"

Answer: A shitty one, playing politics with children.

That Hypocrite Pope

Today:

Benedict says that "now with the collapse of big banks we see that money disappears, is nothing and all these things that appear real are in fact of secondary importance." He urges those who build their lives "only on things that are visible, such as success, career, money" to keep that in mind.

This is, of course, because Pope Benedict is the head of an organization that benefits when everything goes to shit, when people are tired of the political spin and don't quite understand what's happening. They go to church; they drop more into the ushers' baskets.

Uncertainty breeds money for The Holy See.

Christianity is, at its base, supposed to follow the teachings of Christ, who renounced all things in the physical world for the spiritual world, and taught his followers to do the same. Ironically enough, the purported stronghold of Christ's teachings, the Vatican, is worth billions in the physical leanings of priceless art, artifacts, treasures, and manuscripts.

Perhaps, Pope Benedict, if you were able to divest yourself of some of those worldly holdings and aid in helping those in need - you know, like Jesus would do - then perhaps you'd be less likely viewed as a hypocrite. Don't tell me I'm not following Jesus' path by having a 401(k) plan when a fart from the Vatican vault could help thousands.

And if the world were to follow your advice and value nothing physical and focus on only their spiritual development? Well, then, the Catholic Church would again become an enormous power to be reckoned with, wouldn't it?

Isn't worldly power...worldly?

Might want to read that Bible again, Benedict.

Keating Economics

McCain decided to blow up Obama's ties to Ayers, as well as blow up Ayers as a TERR'IST. Aside from it being bullshit (and I will have more on that later), McCain is letting out his old man stink; he's panicking because we've got a month to go. Problem with his strategy is that no one wants to talk about Ayers. We're a little too worried about the economy, our 401(k)'s - if we have enough to put into them.

And the worst part is that McCain's actions during the Keating scandal are directly related to what is going on now. Let's review, shall we? The Obama campaign released this gem just today. It's 13 minutes long, and will get you fired up.



Pass it on.