Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites
(h/t Calvin for the link!)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Captain Picard Day
Someone over at the Something Awful Forums declared today, June 16th as Captain Picard Day, referencing this video.
A link to The Captain Picard Song also emerged and reminded me that it is required viewing. Enjoy!
And have a happy Captain Picard Day!
A link to The Captain Picard Song also emerged and reminded me that it is required viewing. Enjoy!
And have a happy Captain Picard Day!
Monday, June 15, 2009
This is Really Happening
Radiohead. Idioteque.
Any questions?
We're not scare mongering
This is really happening
Happening
We're not scare mongering
This is really happening
Happening
Mobiles quirking
Mobiles chirping
Take the money and run
Take the money and run
Take the money
Any questions?
On That Chicago Chick WITHOUT a Dead Baby
So a woman in Chicago started a blog about her pregnancy. The baby had a terminal illness and to die quickly after birth. But she would still have the baby. And anti-abortion nutters went gaga. Juicy fucking emotive gaga.
And then she published a picture of her and the newborn and concluded the story saying that the child had died. At least one of her readers owned the same creepy, lifelike newborn doll (surprise!), and called out shenanigans. And then it unraveled. You can read April Rose Mom Beccah Beushausen's apology, which is all that is left of the blog, here.
Beccah says she actually did lose a child in 2005 and that this was her finding that voice, a way to deal with that loss. But that's not the interesting part.
The right wing, anti-abortion zealots who had found a poster child, a patsy, an exemplar of their beliefs, are outrageously pissed. She betrayed their trust, made a mockery of their convictions, blah blah blah. And from what I've read, the left wing, surprisingly, is not soaking in the schadenfreude, but bitching their own sanctimonious bullshit about how awful it was to get the right wing, anti-abortion zealots all worked up over a false prophet. [NOTE: I'm guessing the glurge from the left is only emerging now because, like me, most of us only heard about this once the hoax became public and if we'd heard about the blog before we wouldn't have given it 5 seconds of our time.]
To both sides: stop your fucking whining.
To the right: You're the same mess that goes into depression in week 10 of Survivor because after the merge, the cute guy from Boston wasn't the tried-n-true person you thought he was. You got suckered. Get the hell over it. If you spend that much time on the internet and don't know that you're probably reading or viewing something that's potentially not true dozens of times a day, you deserve the emotional punch. It's the internet! Someone started a blog and started a story, played a role. There are no guarantees that anything is real. Hell, my name's not really Ricky Shambles! Gasp! And instead of doing something for real about your beliefs, you hung your hat on baby April, your sacrificial lamb. That's right; Beccah was just the vessel, and the fact that the vessel would allow that child to come into the world and potentially suffer a great deal before quickly dying rang a bell in some sick, sad part of you, justified that anti-abortion-under-any-circumstance bit that you're irrationally and desperately holding on to.
And then none of it was real. And your beliefs are hanging nowhere. And in a completely viable act of mob-rule ego-protection, you exhibit anger and flap the naive flag that all is not what it seems on the internets. Stop. You're compounding your foolishness.
To the left: Anything you say right now about being angry at Beccah is muddying the very clear whine of a million outraged suckers. Stop.
Keyboard cat, play the fools out...
And then she published a picture of her and the newborn and concluded the story saying that the child had died. At least one of her readers owned the same creepy, lifelike newborn doll (surprise!), and called out shenanigans. And then it unraveled. You can read April Rose Mom Beccah Beushausen's apology, which is all that is left of the blog, here.
Beccah says she actually did lose a child in 2005 and that this was her finding that voice, a way to deal with that loss. But that's not the interesting part.
The right wing, anti-abortion zealots who had found a poster child, a patsy, an exemplar of their beliefs, are outrageously pissed. She betrayed their trust, made a mockery of their convictions, blah blah blah. And from what I've read, the left wing, surprisingly, is not soaking in the schadenfreude, but bitching their own sanctimonious bullshit about how awful it was to get the right wing, anti-abortion zealots all worked up over a false prophet. [NOTE: I'm guessing the glurge from the left is only emerging now because, like me, most of us only heard about this once the hoax became public and if we'd heard about the blog before we wouldn't have given it 5 seconds of our time.]
To both sides: stop your fucking whining.
To the right: You're the same mess that goes into depression in week 10 of Survivor because after the merge, the cute guy from Boston wasn't the tried-n-true person you thought he was. You got suckered. Get the hell over it. If you spend that much time on the internet and don't know that you're probably reading or viewing something that's potentially not true dozens of times a day, you deserve the emotional punch. It's the internet! Someone started a blog and started a story, played a role. There are no guarantees that anything is real. Hell, my name's not really Ricky Shambles! Gasp! And instead of doing something for real about your beliefs, you hung your hat on baby April, your sacrificial lamb. That's right; Beccah was just the vessel, and the fact that the vessel would allow that child to come into the world and potentially suffer a great deal before quickly dying rang a bell in some sick, sad part of you, justified that anti-abortion-under-any-circumstance bit that you're irrationally and desperately holding on to.
And then none of it was real. And your beliefs are hanging nowhere. And in a completely viable act of mob-rule ego-protection, you exhibit anger and flap the naive flag that all is not what it seems on the internets. Stop. You're compounding your foolishness.
To the left: Anything you say right now about being angry at Beccah is muddying the very clear whine of a million outraged suckers. Stop.
Keyboard cat, play the fools out...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Van Mural Wednesday: Mr Greenface Buttlips
I'm not even going to speculate, but know that this will haunt me long after this post.
The Linktastica Upgrade!
Well, there you go. I finally did it. I cleaned up that old list of links I used to call a blogroll. And - damn! - there were quite a few defunct destinations, whether they were not even found or stopped posting soon after the last election.
The good news is that all the goodies that still existed and all the folks I follow have been updated in the new, improved, blog list in my side column. It ranks by most recent update, which makes me think I might strip out a couple of the mainstream feeds in honor of people who have great content but cannot post 30 times a day.
Two new additions also join us: Watergate Summer and God is For Suckers! Both good reads. And I don't know if I ever mentioned Calvin, but check that out too.
That is all. Now...must find an appropriate van mural.
The good news is that all the goodies that still existed and all the folks I follow have been updated in the new, improved, blog list in my side column. It ranks by most recent update, which makes me think I might strip out a couple of the mainstream feeds in honor of people who have great content but cannot post 30 times a day.
Two new additions also join us: Watergate Summer and God is For Suckers! Both good reads. And I don't know if I ever mentioned Calvin, but check that out too.
That is all. Now...must find an appropriate van mural.
Official Million Can March Post
RevPhat has put together the official Million Can March post over at Les Enrages. I suggest you get over there right now, take a gander, get the code for that lovely dancing can badge (now in my right column), and start organizing! We have less than one month to donate 1 million cans.
Comments disabled 'cause: do it over there!
Yes We CAN!
Comments disabled 'cause: do it over there!
Yes We CAN!
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Million Can March
RevPhat over at Les Enrages had this fantastic idea - while a couple dozen teabaggers per city were raising the false alarm of socialism on July 4th - that us liberals could get together and organize a horribly socialist event of our own: feed the hungry. I know, how wonderfully evil, right?
Check out the link (over 100 comments!), join the brigade, and here's a sample of an animated badge:
Once I get the final tweaks and go-ahead I'll figure out a way to get the code to all of you so you can embed it as well.
Be back soon with updates.
UPDATE: The code has been passed and I'll be blogging about the results in the morning in order to send you all over to RevPhat's place to get it and add it to your sidebar.
UPDATE 2: RevPhat has put together the official Million Can March post Getcha Code ovah theya fo ya sidebah.
Check out the link (over 100 comments!), join the brigade, and here's a sample of an animated badge:
Once I get the final tweaks and go-ahead I'll figure out a way to get the code to all of you so you can embed it as well.
Be back soon with updates.
UPDATE: The code has been passed and I'll be blogging about the results in the morning in order to send you all over to RevPhat's place to get it and add it to your sidebar.
UPDATE 2: RevPhat has put together the official Million Can March post Getcha Code ovah theya fo ya sidebah.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Van Mural Wednesday: Friday Edition
Bad news is I forgot Wednesday. Good news is you now only have 5 days to the next installment!
Hey, who's that fat kid wrestling a croc? Kinda looks like that Crocodile Hunter guy who was eaten by a swarm of zombie manta rays, but I can't seem to focus on the image. The scrawled web address is so blinding...
On the good side, can't say the Oz national flag even says Aussie Pride! that loudly.
Hey, who's that fat kid wrestling a croc? Kinda looks like that Crocodile Hunter guy who was eaten by a swarm of zombie manta rays, but I can't seem to focus on the image. The scrawled web address is so blinding...
On the good side, can't say the Oz national flag even says Aussie Pride! that loudly.
Freecycle Cavalcade of ...?
I signed up for the Cincinnati area Freecycle a while back - it's a offer/request board giving people a chance to connect one person's trash to another person's treasure. Dang that sounds dirty.
I've never actually used the service, but do find it interesting. Such was the case today when this list of offerings came across:
WTF? Happy Friday!
I've never actually used the service, but do find it interesting. Such was the case today when this list of offerings came across:
1 partial bottle of African Violet Food
Schick Quattro razor (no blades)
$5 Huggies pullup coupon exp.7/09
6? stryofoam egg cartons
bag of gardening magazines (Backyard Living & Gardening How To)
bag of kid videos
WTF? Happy Friday!
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
I Haven't Been Tagged Like That Since 'Nam
Joking. I'm only 32. And understand that people who lived through Viet Nam think it is AWESOME when someone who didn't makes a joke about it. Sweet.
This post comes to us from the wonderful and lovely Distracted By Shiny Objects over at A Tidings of Magpies. However, I will forgo the obligatory "these guys are tagged!" Or maybe not. We'll see how I feel at the end of this.
1: What is your current obsession?
While juggling my own business so we don't end up on the street and home duties so we don't end up on Clean Sweep, while spending quality time with my family and carting around our daughter to half a dozen appointments every week, my current (and ongoing) obsession is wondering where I went and salvaging any scrap of time I can to spend time with him.
2: Which item of clothing do you wear most?
On any given day it's a tug-of-war by time. I work from my home office, so if it's a crazy coding day or a generally rough day, my pajama pants wearing tops the 12 hour mark as it is padded by the overnight hours. If it's a good, active, busy, or particularly proactive day, jeans all the way. Today was pajama pants with a Guinness print (fav). Favorite jeans are the dark, soft ones Mrs. Shambles hates.
3: What's for dinner?
Kraft Mac n Cheese with Ball Park Beef Franks (those Turkey ones suck).
(For the record, we generally like to cook; yesterday was grilled teriyaki halibut steak with garlic broccoli and carrots with stuffing.)
4: Last thing you bought?
Last actual purchase was OJ, 10 cal Vitamin Water (orange), beer, and Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Last thing I bought for myself was Marian Call's "Got to Fly," #405/1000 signed by her. It is delicious.
5: What are you listening to?
Sirius Radio Channel 86: CBC Radio 3. A.C. Newman's "Like a Hitman, Like a Dancer" is playing now. How come Canadian Indie is so much better than American Indie right now?
6: If you were a God or Goddess, who would you be?
Ideally, Kartikay, son of Shiva, brother of Ganesha, peacock-riding, demon-slaying, six-headed (one for each teat-set of his six goddess nursemaids) scientist god of Hinduism. But I do have a mean Dionysus streak in me as well.
7: Favourite holiday spots?
Ireland was fantastic, so that's probably the fav so far, but anywhere I can explore non-tourist culture with or without a plan, funded or shoestring, is good with me.
Antithesis of this answer is sitting on a beach for a week or two, tanning (which I do not do gracefully), tour buses, and buying straw hats and polyester palm tree shirts from the hotel gift shop.
8: Reading right now?
No, typing.
Perdido Street Station by China Mieville. I guess it's a form of speculative fiction scifi fantasy, but with some real grit, focusing on a human scientist, his insectoid lover, and a grub that eats psychoactive drugs
9: Okay...what were you thinking about just then?
See question #1.
10: Who's your hero/heroine?
Ghandi is my hero. Gary Oldman if we're leaning Hollywood. Never tried heroin.
11: First spring thing?
Stripping the closets for the Goodwill truck. Then going to the Goodwill store for some tasty retro wardrobe choices.
12: Funniest thing you saw in your life?
For me, funny is momentary, always mutable, and usually is on the internet. What keeps me laughing? Angry Alien Productions library of 30-second animated movie synopses featuring bunnies is always a winner. Teen Girl Squad also.
And then there's Kids in the Hall's Gavin.
13: Favourite film?
True Romance. "You're so cool."
14: Share some wisdom?
One who speaks does not know
One who knows does not speak
-- Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching - Verse 56
15: If you were a tree, what tree would you be and why?
Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around a red maple in my parents' front yard that I used to climb frequently, allowed to or not. Even carved a heart with the initials of myself and my gradeschool sweetheart. If I could provide that joy, that solace, to anyone, that would be it: Red Maple.
16: Fictitious characters who made a lasting impression on you?
Walter Mitty, Peyton Farquhar, Billy Budd, Dorian Gray, God
17: 4 words to describe you?
I need to live.
Yeah, I'm going to forgo the "8 person" rule. I have to make dinner. #3. If you read this and want it, then just frickin' do it. Comment or email and I'll add your site in an update.
Love you long time.
This post comes to us from the wonderful and lovely Distracted By Shiny Objects over at A Tidings of Magpies. However, I will forgo the obligatory "these guys are tagged!" Or maybe not. We'll see how I feel at the end of this.
1: What is your current obsession?
While juggling my own business so we don't end up on the street and home duties so we don't end up on Clean Sweep, while spending quality time with my family and carting around our daughter to half a dozen appointments every week, my current (and ongoing) obsession is wondering where I went and salvaging any scrap of time I can to spend time with him.
2: Which item of clothing do you wear most?
On any given day it's a tug-of-war by time. I work from my home office, so if it's a crazy coding day or a generally rough day, my pajama pants wearing tops the 12 hour mark as it is padded by the overnight hours. If it's a good, active, busy, or particularly proactive day, jeans all the way. Today was pajama pants with a Guinness print (fav). Favorite jeans are the dark, soft ones Mrs. Shambles hates.
3: What's for dinner?
Kraft Mac n Cheese with Ball Park Beef Franks (those Turkey ones suck).
(For the record, we generally like to cook; yesterday was grilled teriyaki halibut steak with garlic broccoli and carrots with stuffing.)
4: Last thing you bought?
Last actual purchase was OJ, 10 cal Vitamin Water (orange), beer, and Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Last thing I bought for myself was Marian Call's "Got to Fly," #405/1000 signed by her. It is delicious.
5: What are you listening to?
Sirius Radio Channel 86: CBC Radio 3. A.C. Newman's "Like a Hitman, Like a Dancer" is playing now. How come Canadian Indie is so much better than American Indie right now?
6: If you were a God or Goddess, who would you be?
Ideally, Kartikay, son of Shiva, brother of Ganesha, peacock-riding, demon-slaying, six-headed (one for each teat-set of his six goddess nursemaids) scientist god of Hinduism. But I do have a mean Dionysus streak in me as well.
7: Favourite holiday spots?
Ireland was fantastic, so that's probably the fav so far, but anywhere I can explore non-tourist culture with or without a plan, funded or shoestring, is good with me.
Antithesis of this answer is sitting on a beach for a week or two, tanning (which I do not do gracefully), tour buses, and buying straw hats and polyester palm tree shirts from the hotel gift shop.
8: Reading right now?
No, typing.
Perdido Street Station by China Mieville. I guess it's a form of speculative fiction scifi fantasy, but with some real grit, focusing on a human scientist, his insectoid lover, and a grub that eats psychoactive drugs
9: Okay...what were you thinking about just then?
See question #1.
10: Who's your hero/heroine?
Ghandi is my hero. Gary Oldman if we're leaning Hollywood. Never tried heroin.
11: First spring thing?
Stripping the closets for the Goodwill truck. Then going to the Goodwill store for some tasty retro wardrobe choices.
12: Funniest thing you saw in your life?
For me, funny is momentary, always mutable, and usually is on the internet. What keeps me laughing? Angry Alien Productions library of 30-second animated movie synopses featuring bunnies is always a winner. Teen Girl Squad also.
And then there's Kids in the Hall's Gavin.
13: Favourite film?
True Romance. "You're so cool."
14: Share some wisdom?
One who speaks does not know
One who knows does not speak
-- Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching - Verse 56
15: If you were a tree, what tree would you be and why?
Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around a red maple in my parents' front yard that I used to climb frequently, allowed to or not. Even carved a heart with the initials of myself and my gradeschool sweetheart. If I could provide that joy, that solace, to anyone, that would be it: Red Maple.
16: Fictitious characters who made a lasting impression on you?
Walter Mitty, Peyton Farquhar, Billy Budd, Dorian Gray, God
17: 4 words to describe you?
I need to live.
Yeah, I'm going to forgo the "8 person" rule. I have to make dinner. #3. If you read this and want it, then just frickin' do it. Comment or email and I'll add your site in an update.
Love you long time.
Fucking Adsense
So with all those fancy numbers I spouted last week, I was inspired to make a little coin off the 100+ daily visitors. I signed up for Adsense. Being a web developer, I've done this for a couple clients, but never really for myself.
For those that don't know, you can apply for an Adsense account, get some code to put on your blog, and ads show up on the right and when someone clicks them you get a couple pennies.
Got the official "Welcome to Adsense" email this morning, set up a couple sample ad accounts, added them to a widget on this site and...
The Google Ads will not display on my blog at all.
First thought it was a Doubleclick issue, an acquisition of Google's that has been pegged in the past for malicious ads that want to put their naughty parts in your computer's secret places. And after further research I think I figured out that it's not that, but Google's terms of enlightenment that have pegged me. From everything I can gather, I swear too much.
To that I say:
For those that don't know, you can apply for an Adsense account, get some code to put on your blog, and ads show up on the right and when someone clicks them you get a couple pennies.
Got the official "Welcome to Adsense" email this morning, set up a couple sample ad accounts, added them to a widget on this site and...
Security Error: Content at http://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/ may not load data from...The Google Ads will not display on my blog at all.
First thought it was a Doubleclick issue, an acquisition of Google's that has been pegged in the past for malicious ads that want to put their naughty parts in your computer's secret places. And after further research I think I figured out that it's not that, but Google's terms of enlightenment that have pegged me. From everything I can gather, I swear too much.
To that I say:
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
Keyboard Cat and the Athiest
Sometimes I forget that everyone doesn't live on the internet like I do and therefore may not keep up with all the floating memes out there. Here's a relatively new one.
Play him off, Keyboard Cat...
Play him off, Keyboard Cat...
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Great Scott!
I was watching Back to the Future this morning and it occurred to me that if Doc Brown diverted the electricity away from the clock tower in 1955 to get Marty back to 1985 then the clock would never have been burned out, the annoying "Save the clock tower!" lady would never have been begging for money or have handed Marty the pamphlet, never alerting anyone to the exact time of a lightning strike.
I'd go with Lost's personal timeline theory, but sticking to that would also dictate that no matter what Doc Brown did, Marty's timeline contains the past event of lightning going into the clock and the gimmick with the wire wouldn't/couldn't have worked, like shooting Ben as a child.
(How doe something electrical irreparably damage a huge mechanical structure, anyway?)
And then Marty and Doc would've had to become gay lovers in 1955. Great Scott!
Monday, June 01, 2009
Couple Things I'm Trying
I've been hitting a couple new avenues lately and thought I'd let you know a little about them.
Neti Pot
Don't know if you've heard of this natural remedy for allergy symptoms and general sinus discomfort, but - oh, I know, I know. You're saying "Sinus?!? But it looks like a porcelain oil lamp. WTF?!?
And by now you've probably already eyed the picture below, which - barring overly verbose description, basically works like this:
Then, of course, you have to do it like this:
Then you blow your nose and the feeling of sinus clarity will blow your mind. I do it once or twice a week and on those not-so-fresh (sinus!) days. Just close the door to the bathroom when you're doing it, 'cause, gross.
Frittatas
Totally not my frittata
At least that's what I'm calling them. 1/4 T butter, heated in pan, drop about 1/4 C leftover spaghetti into the pan and heat to butter bubble. Drop 2 egg whites, cook almost through, flip. Slide to plate, coat with thin layer of hummus.
Sofa King delicious. And pretty damn healthy too.
"Rolling Chair On Carpet" Pad
This wouldn't be that big a deal, except that the chair I have, with me sitting on it, drops a screw/bolt head low enough to rub the carpet (no joking, please). So after dealing with strings and tears and finally gaff-taping the damned bare seam in the carpet, I got one of these. And it is wonderful. Roly wonder, no snags necessary.
So not all that exciting today, just a couple things that've been on my mind.
Make it a good one!
Neti Pot
Don't know if you've heard of this natural remedy for allergy symptoms and general sinus discomfort, but - oh, I know, I know. You're saying "Sinus?!? But it looks like a porcelain oil lamp. WTF?!?
And by now you've probably already eyed the picture below, which - barring overly verbose description, basically works like this:
Then, of course, you have to do it like this:
Then you blow your nose and the feeling of sinus clarity will blow your mind. I do it once or twice a week and on those not-so-fresh (sinus!) days. Just close the door to the bathroom when you're doing it, 'cause, gross.
Frittatas
Totally not my frittata
At least that's what I'm calling them. 1/4 T butter, heated in pan, drop about 1/4 C leftover spaghetti into the pan and heat to butter bubble. Drop 2 egg whites, cook almost through, flip. Slide to plate, coat with thin layer of hummus.
Sofa King delicious. And pretty damn healthy too.
"Rolling Chair On Carpet" Pad
This wouldn't be that big a deal, except that the chair I have, with me sitting on it, drops a screw/bolt head low enough to rub the carpet (no joking, please). So after dealing with strings and tears and finally gaff-taping the damned bare seam in the carpet, I got one of these. And it is wonderful. Roly wonder, no snags necessary.
So not all that exciting today, just a couple things that've been on my mind.
Make it a good one!
Friday, May 29, 2009
There Was a Bat in my Shoe
These are the shoes in question
This is representative; I would not hold a wild bat.
Yesterday morning I was letting my dog in and I heard a sudden and incessant chirp-like noise followed by a brief flutter. I froze, wondering what kind of god-awful bug had made it into our home, and simultaneously spotted it: out of one of my shoes flopped a single bat wing.
OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod - breathe!
I leaned over and grabbed the towel sometimes used to wipe off re-entering damp paws and as I slowly approached the shoe, towel held up half in defense, half in expectation of capture, it emerged, chirping, and took a couple fumbling flaps towards me. Like a teasing, shaking, fumbling toreador, I let out a sound that must've resembled a groaning dog and dodged the bat, which landed on the floor.
After a quick toss, a careful roll, and a short trip to the deck, I released our previous captive, who took quickly to the air.
Weirdest thing: the dog and cats were not acting weird or prodding at the shoe which - with a wild animal - I would've expected.
And the only thing I thought - and still think: dude, there was a fucking bat in my shoe.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Late Celebration: 3 years, 907 Posts
Has it really been that long?
I just took a gander at my numbers and it appears I've been blogging for 3 and a half years (January 2006 start). And I've topped 900 posts. I'll use 1000 as an excuse to get drunk and post my greatest hits (or at least what I think are my greatest hits), but thought you folks, my lovely readers, might appreciate an update of how much wonderful time I spend with you, even if it isn't really "with" you. You know what I mean ;)
Most of my readers blog, so keep doing what you're doing. You make differences in lives every day. Seriously. Every day.
This deserves another view of Sean Hannity, Assclown.
I just took a gander at my numbers and it appears I've been blogging for 3 and a half years (January 2006 start). And I've topped 900 posts. I'll use 1000 as an excuse to get drunk and post my greatest hits (or at least what I think are my greatest hits), but thought you folks, my lovely readers, might appreciate an update of how much wonderful time I spend with you, even if it isn't really "with" you. You know what I mean ;)
Most of my readers blog, so keep doing what you're doing. You make differences in lives every day. Seriously. Every day.
This deserves another view of Sean Hannity, Assclown.
Cause for Concern Statistics
Yeah, that's hundreds per day...
Hey there loyal readers! I promised some statistics a week or so ago and here they finally are!
(if you are not using Google Analytics yet, do it now. Now I say!)
3,005 Visits have been made to this blog in the last 30 days, putting me at a hair over 100 visits a day. In that time, 2,850 Absolute Unique Visitors racked up 3,555 Pageviews which is 1.18 Pageviews on average which does not surprise us with a 26 second average time on site. 88.59% of my visitors showed up, visited no other pages, and left (bounce rate).
By far, the majority of my visitors came from the Good Ol' US of A at over 88%. But the top 5 after that were Canada, UK, Australia, Germany, France. In the last 30 days people from 74 countries visited these pages.
Top pages continue to be:
Andrew Wilkow My New Pain in the Ass - 16%
G4: Morgan Webb or Oliva Munn - 10%
Whorelore: A Warcraft-inspired Porn Series - 8%
Stephanie Mohr's Appeal: a.k.a. - Money Suckers - 8%
...and the home page - 7%
Traffic split is:
Search Engines 1,798 (59.83%)
Referring Sites 1,069 (35.57%)
Direct Traffic 138 (4.59%)
And of the people using search engines to find me, the top 25 words or phrases people are using to do so are as follows:
andrew wilkow
stephanie mohr
dungeons and dragons porn
wilkow
glenn beck is a douchebag
naked
glenn beck douchebag
andrew wilkow wife
"stephanie mohr"
olivia munn morgan webb
andrew wilkow show
warcraft pron
bad jesus jokes
bad photoshop
d&d porn
scrabble commercial
lindsay lohan
morgan webb naked
ah teens
ah-teens
jesus dog butthole
cause for concern
glenn beck shirtless
let freedom ring lyrics hannity
baman piderman
(I'm particularly proud of the glenn beck / douchebag juxtaposition)
So perhaps you don't give a shit or perhaps it's just enough to wet your willy and squirt funny-juice all over yourself. Or not.
Either way, I do hope you've enjoyed my stats. If anything changes, I'll let you know.
If you have questions about Google Analytics or any of my stats, please hit me up in the comments. Remember: IRL I'm a web developer.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Stephanie from LazyTown is Legal
Yesterday, May 26th, 2009, Julianna Rose Mauriello turned 18.
That is all.
UPDATE: The previous picture I had up was a noted 'shop - and I didn't catch it. It has been replaced. I'm not one to back down from controversy, but that's not really controversy, just disrespect. And she's still attractive.
That is all.
UPDATE: The previous picture I had up was a noted 'shop - and I didn't catch it. It has been replaced. I'm not one to back down from controversy, but that's not really controversy, just disrespect. And she's still attractive.
Rush Limbaugh is a Moron
Last week, Rush - based on a "sample" of three people in the studio - proclaimed that all the skinny people he knows drink regular pop and the fat people drink diet. And therefore: diet pop makes you fat.
Today I heard him say that exercise does not matter; if you want to lose weight, you must change what you eat.
There are quarter or eighth-truths here, but it is clearly flawed, borderline retarded logic.
And with this wit he attacks the left, claiming Obama wants everyone in the country to be poor, wants to feed America to blacks for reparations.
How is it that this douche is the voice of the Republican Party? How do the Repubs not see why they're in this situation?
Keep giving them rope. More and more rope. It only gets better.
Today I heard him say that exercise does not matter; if you want to lose weight, you must change what you eat.
There are quarter or eighth-truths here, but it is clearly flawed, borderline retarded logic.
And with this wit he attacks the left, claiming Obama wants everyone in the country to be poor, wants to feed America to blacks for reparations.
How is it that this douche is the voice of the Republican Party? How do the Repubs not see why they're in this situation?
Keep giving them rope. More and more rope. It only gets better.
Rape Van = Van Mural Wednesday
Last week we introduced Rape Van Wednesday. Unfortunately, I self-defeated by posting the definitive image of a rape van. So from now on, Wednesday will be Van Mural Wednesday, as the standard I set was just too high. Worry not, though. Should I find a more exemplary or worthy (or should you point me in the right direction of an) example, I will gladly post it under the title Rape Van.
For now, we will mix it up with sometimes iconic, sometimes interesting, sometimes horribly shitty murals.
Today, we've got a shitty Star Wars mural on a modded gold van. WTF?
And I'm guessing JarJar is on the other side...
For now, we will mix it up with sometimes iconic, sometimes interesting, sometimes horribly shitty murals.
Today, we've got a shitty Star Wars mural on a modded gold van. WTF?
And I'm guessing JarJar is on the other side...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Jesus Florida Plate Stalls
The Jesus License Plate has been stalled in the Florida legislature.
Thank God.
Christians push the "Muslims Are Bad" rhetoric and yet a state mandate of a man nailed to a piece of wood is peaceful. FAIL.
Glad to see it has stalled.
But, damn, that man is buff.
Devil Bunnies!
Meet me at the racetrack, Jack
Push your pedal to my metal
Peel this sucker out
Devil bunny devil bunny
Go Go Devil Bunnies Go Go
Wow...forgot how short that song was. Thanks to My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult and Monkey for inspiration.
Education in America: Jumped the Shark?
Over the weekend, my father, who works for the mayor of a Cleveland suburb, was explaining that next year in the high school system everything but the state mandated minimum was going to be cut. That means that all the high school kids in the district will go to school for under 5 hours a day, cutting everything except English, Math, Social Studies, and Science. That means no music, art, or theatre.
This, of course, stems from the way schools in Ohio are funded: primarily by property taxes. The state lottery also funnels money into the schools, but as soon as that was instituted the crooked politicians channeled most of the non-lottery money into other projects. And despite a 1997 Ohio Supreme Court ruling that property tax funding of the schools was unconstitutional, in 12 years nothing has changed. Except the installation of No Child Left Behind which provides regulations but no money for implementation, further crippling struggling schools.
This is happening all over Ohio, all over the country. Schools are being stripped of enrichment as budgets fall off from a mix of shitty management and shitty economy. As of right now many children are being pushed through high school without some of the things we considered basics: writing a five paragraph essay, understanding of grammar, basic knowledge of science, history, government.
And then what do they do? They try to get into a college having had a year or two or three of 5 hour days, no extracurricular offered. And if they can get into college, they're looking at $30,000 for an inexpensive state college 4-year degree.
This weekend, as I was soaking in the collapse of the educational system that provided me with quality schooling, I came across this article (or one like it) about how colleges are entertaining the idea of a three-year degree to make college "more affordable." So don't knock down absurd spending levels or sick tuition hikes, but slim down your requirements and push the student through ASAP. That is if it's not a bait-n-switch: "Ooh, sorry, you missed the 3-year degree by 2 credits. Not going to give up now, are you?"
So we're pushing the high school students through at absolute minimum so they can barely get into a college that is too expensive so they can chug through that at the minimum 3 years so they can end up in a work force that - if they can get a job - will devalue their education, paying them much less whilst they sit atop some $20K+ in loans. And that's just the undergrad.
And we're spending trillions on banks and car companies? Where's the education reform? Where's the NCLB repeal? Where's the money for the important things?
Needless to say, it makes me mad. And as the father of a 13-year old, it scares the shit out of me.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Quickie on Health Care
I heard some Republican choad this morning say that they would never enact a system that would place a bureaucrat between a person and their health care.
I say that (or technically a law facilitating care) is much better than what we have now: a shady insurance company who's sole, driving interest is to DENY you access to that care in order to maintain a substantial profit margin.
But I guess Republican lawmakers can't get kickbacks from a law.
I say that (or technically a law facilitating care) is much better than what we have now: a shady insurance company who's sole, driving interest is to DENY you access to that care in order to maintain a substantial profit margin.
But I guess Republican lawmakers can't get kickbacks from a law.
Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Enemy Combatants?
So now Congress won't give Obama his $80 million to close Gitmo.
(Wait; why again does it cost $80 million to close Gitmo? As Ron Paul puts it: "A padlock costs about 10 bucks and buses are cheap.")
I really don't know exactly how to reason with anyone with an irrational fear that someone will break out of one of our prisons and specifically target them. They are retarded. Unfortunately, many of "them" are currently running the country. And a certain number will never vote yea on anything having to do with Gitmo unless it is a bill to pay for 250 bullets.
Let's just say I'm a little disappointed with the Democratic Party as a whole as of late.
(Wait; why again does it cost $80 million to close Gitmo? As Ron Paul puts it: "A padlock costs about 10 bucks and buses are cheap.")
Well, where them terr'rists gonna live? I doan want no Osama bin Laden walkin' roun on my streets.
First off, they're not terrorists; they're enemy combatants. If we were being faithful to the Geneva Convention, they'd be called Prisoners of War. Second, they aren't being released into the wilds of Small Town America. They would go to one of our jails.
But them terr'rists could break out and come get me and my family cause they hate America cause of our freedoms.
There are about 2 million people in America's prision system at any given time. There are less than 250 detainees at Gitmo. Have you ever had an escaped convict enter your home and threaten your family?
Well, no, but they hate America cause they're terr'rists.
But I told you; they're not terrorists. Some of the people in America's prisons are actual terrorists. Like the Unabomber? Many of the other convicts are murders. They hate life. I saw a guy on Discovery the other day who was in prison at 15 and said it was his personal mission to kill as many people as he could before he died.
Aww, he's just a kid. But them terr'rists are tricky.
What about Montana? There's a prison up there that wants the terr- dang, detainees. Says it'll create over 100 jobs.
Yeah, but they'll break out and then it'll be terr'rists on our streets.
It snows a lot in Montana.
Hmmm...that might work. Snow is like poison lava to them arabs.
So we bring them?
Hell no. Osama'll kill my family. Obama- hehe. See what I did there?
Clever.
He's a Muslim, you know.
Lovely.
I really don't know exactly how to reason with anyone with an irrational fear that someone will break out of one of our prisons and specifically target them. They are retarded. Unfortunately, many of "them" are currently running the country. And a certain number will never vote yea on anything having to do with Gitmo unless it is a bill to pay for 250 bullets.
Let's just say I'm a little disappointed with the Democratic Party as a whole as of late.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
For My Cleveland Friends
Having spent most of my life in Cleveland, I can post this with good humor:
Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video (h/t @akbiocity)
Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video (h/t @akbiocity)
Juxtaposition
Travel up I-75 around Troy, MI, and you'll pass this exit, as I was fortunate enough to do a couple times in my life.
Exit 69: Big Beaver Road
Exit 69: Big Beaver Road
This Week's Rape Van
It's Wednesday and you know what that means. Oh, no, I guess you don't because I'm trying something new. I'm going to stick to it; and I mean it. Anybody want a peanut?
Yesterday on Twitter I started a new hashtag #rapevan in a tweet about limitations on the awful things credit card companies do to us. IM discussion with my friend Brent (he's got something to link to now!) brought up the spectre of an actual rape van and hijacking the hashtag. He provided me with an image.
All that just to say: Here's your weekly rape van.
Filthy? check
Rusting? check
Limited windows? check
Airbrushed mural? check
Airbrushed mural contains dragon? check
Bumper held on by wire coming from brake light well? check
Actually, as I have apparently found Plato's Form of a rape van, I don't know that there is any reason to continue posting mere facsimiles. Perhaps I have defeated myself in another regular feature.
Let me know. Would you like to see a weekly image of an mural van that makes you cringe? Any examples you would like to submit? How about best submission gets a custom Rape Van Hunter badge?
[UPDATE: "Rape Van" has been tastefully changed to "Van Mural"]
Yesterday on Twitter I started a new hashtag #rapevan in a tweet about limitations on the awful things credit card companies do to us. IM discussion with my friend Brent (he's got something to link to now!) brought up the spectre of an actual rape van and hijacking the hashtag. He provided me with an image.
All that just to say: Here's your weekly rape van.
Filthy? check
Rusting? check
Limited windows? check
Airbrushed mural? check
Airbrushed mural contains dragon? check
Bumper held on by wire coming from brake light well? check
Actually, as I have apparently found Plato's Form of a rape van, I don't know that there is any reason to continue posting mere facsimiles. Perhaps I have defeated myself in another regular feature.
Let me know. Would you like to see a weekly image of an mural van that makes you cringe? Any examples you would like to submit? How about best submission gets a custom Rape Van Hunter badge?
[UPDATE: "Rape Van" has been tastefully changed to "Van Mural"]
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Welcome New Friends
I spent some time today and made a lot of new friends.
And yes, I now need to take some time and update (and winnow) my Blogroll. Maybe I'll even enter everyone in that fancy widget that shows your last blog post too. Oh so hoity-toity. But I'll get to it, so quitcha bitchin'.
I just wanted to welcome you. Have a look around. Make some new friends yourself in my follow list. Most people enjoy the original photoshops. Have fun!
And yes, I now need to take some time and update (and winnow) my Blogroll. Maybe I'll even enter everyone in that fancy widget that shows your last blog post too. Oh so hoity-toity. But I'll get to it, so quitcha bitchin'.
I just wanted to welcome you. Have a look around. Make some new friends yourself in my follow list. Most people enjoy the original photoshops. Have fun!
Andrew Wilkow Continues
Over a year ago, after listening to Andrew Wilkow a few times on Sirius, I created a post entitled Andrew Wilkow: My New Pain in the Ass.
If you haven't read it, it's interesting enough. Calling out right-wing douchebags usually is. The reason I mention it is that is has consistently been the largest draw to my blog and even after a year still getting comments (many are mine, but I'm up to 89). Enjoy!
I believe tomorrow I shall inform you about what else seems to draw people here. It's quite interesting and involves elf porn.
If you haven't read it, it's interesting enough. Calling out right-wing douchebags usually is. The reason I mention it is that is has consistently been the largest draw to my blog and even after a year still getting comments (many are mine, but I'm up to 89). Enjoy!
I believe tomorrow I shall inform you about what else seems to draw people here. It's quite interesting and involves elf porn.
Stop Starbucks ...?
I got an email today from Brave New Films, a great group known for bringing some of the evils of Walmart into the light for everyone to see. They sent me a link to the following video and a website to Stop Starbucks:
The shitstamp on the forehead of Starbucks, according to this video and its sources, is that Starbucks is engaging in union-busting activities. Okay, bad on them. That should stop.
But Brave New Films goes a few steps too far in demonizing Starbucks as something equivalent to Walmart. And they're not. And that's not fair if we're going to be claiming to stand upon principles based on all the facts.
How about the differences between Starbucks and Walmart?
If we're going to complain about something - and something that by all counts needs to be exposed - then do it fairly and without the sensationalism. Otherwise we're filling our pleas with as much bullshit as the Right Wing anytime they raise an issue. And then who would believe our causes?
The shitstamp on the forehead of Starbucks, according to this video and its sources, is that Starbucks is engaging in union-busting activities. Okay, bad on them. That should stop.
But Brave New Films goes a few steps too far in demonizing Starbucks as something equivalent to Walmart. And they're not. And that's not fair if we're going to be claiming to stand upon principles based on all the facts.
How about the differences between Starbucks and Walmart?
- Starbucks has always paid well over minimum wage and offers benefits to part-time workers as well as quick advancement to dedicated employees.
- Walmart trims corners everywhere, refusing to pay anywhere close to a living wage, seldom offering benefits, has issues with equal pay and advancement for women.
- Starbucks gets involved in local, community projects to improve the neighborhood in which they're located.
- Walmart creates acres of parking lots, local traffic problems, and barely-scraping-by poor.
- Starbucks has engaged the Free Trade program, making sure the coffee growers are getting a fair cut for the product they supply.
- Walmart is known for strong-arming their suppliers into shifting their manufacturing to China, killing thousands of manufacturing jobs and exploiting millions of Chinese men, women, and children.
If we're going to complain about something - and something that by all counts needs to be exposed - then do it fairly and without the sensationalism. Otherwise we're filling our pleas with as much bullshit as the Right Wing anytime they raise an issue. And then who would believe our causes?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
No Time to Blog, Damnit!
I'd like to sit down and have a nice talk with your about politics or religion or the world or spirituality or why our president is being a pussy about some photos, but I can't right now because my sister's in town for my wife's college graduation. She's bored, Mrs. Shambles is making dinner with a sour eye in my direction because of my extended work day, and there's just not enough time. Or not enough me time.
So I'll be back on Friday. Tomorrow. And we'll talk then.
Have a great evening!
So I'll be back on Friday. Tomorrow. And we'll talk then.
Have a great evening!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I Don't Know Nothin' Bout Trackin' No Monies
This is Rep. Alan Grayson asking the Federal Reserve Inspector General about trillions of dollars of YOUR money and whether anyone's keeping track of where the money is and whether or not there are losses in the lending. Her answers are not encouraging.
Duuhh...ummm...I don't know. This is why we can't have anything nice. This is why, even if Obama's efforts are 100% genuine and could 100% fix the mess we're in, it won't. Everyone jumps up and screams FIRE and they bring out the money shooter and only months later do they say "Hmm. Is someone keeping track of this?" Of course because everyone assumes that someone's got the oversight thing handled, no one's got the oversight handled.
One day, in a futuristic, Planet of the Apes scenario, when we're pounding the beach in front of a decaying Statue of Liberty, maybe then we'll get it.
Duuhh...ummm...I don't know. This is why we can't have anything nice. This is why, even if Obama's efforts are 100% genuine and could 100% fix the mess we're in, it won't. Everyone jumps up and screams FIRE and they bring out the money shooter and only months later do they say "Hmm. Is someone keeping track of this?" Of course because everyone assumes that someone's got the oversight thing handled, no one's got the oversight handled.
One day, in a futuristic, Planet of the Apes scenario, when we're pounding the beach in front of a decaying Statue of Liberty, maybe then we'll get it.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Michael Savage and Sam from Today's Special
I just recently hit on this as a part of one post, but thought it needed a little more attention and therefore have created an account with icanhascheezburger.com and this image:
If you don't know about Michael Savage, you need to get out of the cave and listen to at least two shows at least until you have to vomit. If you don't know about Today's Special, I can give you this link and show you this clip of the intro:
(holy fucking box of shit, I haven't seen this in over 25 years and watching it was like an acid trip back to my parents' basement in '85)
But if you haven't seen it, the reference simply won't be as funny. If you have, then you may just have shit yourself.
If you don't know about Michael Savage, you need to get out of the cave and listen to at least two shows at least until you have to vomit. If you don't know about Today's Special, I can give you this link and show you this clip of the intro:
(holy fucking box of shit, I haven't seen this in over 25 years and watching it was like an acid trip back to my parents' basement in '85)
But if you haven't seen it, the reference simply won't be as funny. If you have, then you may just have shit yourself.
The Ladies Love Obama
Some folks are seriously dedicated to President Obama. In fact, here are two from Cincinnati:
These two are so dedicated that one of them ran into someone's house to steal a picture of him. So dedicated that the getaway driver would bring her 3-year-old son on the burglary trip with them. So dedicated that they are now in jail.
The weirdest thing is that they sought to abscond with a picture. This isn't a rare 19th century Daguerreotype. It's a picture that, if digital or scanned, could be recreated for less than $1. Images in our society are ubiquitous.
Ah, but that's Cincinnati for you. :(
These two are so dedicated that one of them ran into someone's house to steal a picture of him. So dedicated that the getaway driver would bring her 3-year-old son on the burglary trip with them. So dedicated that they are now in jail.
The weirdest thing is that they sought to abscond with a picture. This isn't a rare 19th century Daguerreotype. It's a picture that, if digital or scanned, could be recreated for less than $1. Images in our society are ubiquitous.
Ah, but that's Cincinnati for you. :(
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thoughts For Sunday: Caffine, Energy, Mustard, and Bible Hate
Friday night I bought a 12 of Miller Lite. The caps have now gone gold and are being touted as flavor savers or some shit. I think we all know it just means Miller Lite has gone caffeine-free.
I believe a leaf blower is a horrible affront to our environment, wasting gas or electricity to do something a little elbow grease and a rake can do.
(tell me you get this)
Also, I cannot afford a leaf blower.
I'm making meatloaf right now for my wife on Mother's day. I used a recipe that did not have measurements and I added too much mustard. I'm hoping it will be okayh. But it means that I've been spending the past hour, on Mother's Day, wondering if I cut the mustard enough.
If you're ever listening to someone spout Bible Hate about homosexuals, please remind them that Leviticus 18:22 says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." but Leviticus 19:19 says "...neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee" and ask them if they're wearing a blend.
That is all.
I believe a leaf blower is a horrible affront to our environment, wasting gas or electricity to do something a little elbow grease and a rake can do.
(tell me you get this)
Also, I cannot afford a leaf blower.
I'm making meatloaf right now for my wife on Mother's day. I used a recipe that did not have measurements and I added too much mustard. I'm hoping it will be okayh. But it means that I've been spending the past hour, on Mother's Day, wondering if I cut the mustard enough.
If you're ever listening to someone spout Bible Hate about homosexuals, please remind them that Leviticus 18:22 says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." but Leviticus 19:19 says "...neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee" and ask them if they're wearing a blend.
That is all.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Martin Jetpack: 90 Seconds of Untouchable Awesome
That's right folks, not for another year or so:
I keep thinking he's going to land feet first with the momentum still carrying the pack forward as the engine throttle is released, crushing him into meatbag mash.
Of course, then he would re-animate and we'd have a jet-pack zombie, which is deliciously horrifying.
I keep thinking he's going to land feet first with the momentum still carrying the pack forward as the engine throttle is released, crushing him into meatbag mash.
Of course, then he would re-animate and we'd have a jet-pack zombie, which is deliciously horrifying.
Ah, Teens and Their Porn
One of the first trips I made on the internets this morning was to MSNBC. I saw the above graphic and read Teens Cutting Back on Porn. "Really?" I thought.
So I continued my visual scan: Like others, Elkhart's porn culture feels recession.
Sounded interesting, but I was not necessarily interested enough to click. "Guess the recession's hitting just about everything," I thought.
About ten minutes and half a cup of coffee later I looked at it again and my brain corrected its Freudian slip.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Obama Makes a Stand to Help Teen Pregnancy
Found at Think Progress:
Finally, someone who understands that "Just Say NO" doesn't work.
Thank you President Obama for killing stupidity.
Keeping with a campaign pledge “not continue to fund abstinence-only programs,” President Obama’s 2010 budget — further details of which were released today — cuts funding for “Community-Based Abstinence Education” and several other abstinence-education programs
Finally, someone who understands that "Just Say NO" doesn't work.
Thank you President Obama for killing stupidity.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
This is kind of how today feels...
I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!
Name the movie without Google and I'll Photoshop you an award! Cheers!
A Couple Items to Catch the Eye
Ah, Good ol' Gordon Brown, PM of Britain, in an unfortunate juxtaposition to a high school project.
Brilliant.
The UK has said Michael Savage is banned from the UK. Michael Savage will officially reply with litigation. Michael Savage's real name is Michael Weiner. I do not believe Mr. Weiner would leave the loose borders of his beloved America. And WHY do news resources such as The Independent keep using the almost-hip sunglasses pic of Mr. Weiner when the following is an old pic?
The man is about 2 weeks from meat falling off the bone.
...and he looks like Sam from Today's Special.
US teacher broke law by describing creationism as 'superstitious nonsense'
Judge rules remark was 'improper disapproval of religion' and violated first amendment of US constitution.
Good on that teacher. Of course, he should have just said that it has no base in scientific fact and no place in public schools. And he probably should've been a science teacher. European history? Kind of a stretch, even if I completely agree with his statement.
Brilliant.
The UK has said Michael Savage is banned from the UK. Michael Savage will officially reply with litigation. Michael Savage's real name is Michael Weiner. I do not believe Mr. Weiner would leave the loose borders of his beloved America. And WHY do news resources such as The Independent keep using the almost-hip sunglasses pic of Mr. Weiner when the following is an old pic?
The man is about 2 weeks from meat falling off the bone.
...and he looks like Sam from Today's Special.
US teacher broke law by describing creationism as 'superstitious nonsense'
Judge rules remark was 'improper disapproval of religion' and violated first amendment of US constitution.
Good on that teacher. Of course, he should have just said that it has no base in scientific fact and no place in public schools. And he probably should've been a science teacher. European history? Kind of a stretch, even if I completely agree with his statement.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Cum and Cat Piss II: Spring in Bloom!
Last year I posted about how the Bradford Pear tree blooms smell like cum. You know it when you smell it.
But last year at this time I was wowed by the lack of understanding and comments and information I could get on why I keep smelling stale cat pee. And now it's back. But I dug deep, sniffed hundreds of plants, and have an answer.
What's my deal? Juniper. It sometimes grows high and narrow, sometimes low and wide; it's everywhere (although I think somehow specific to a specie in Cincinnati/Southern Ohio/Northern Kentucky). Apparently just bugs me. Smells like cat pee. Stale cat pee. It's wafting in my window right now.
Anyone else smelled this way?
But last year at this time I was wowed by the lack of understanding and comments and information I could get on why I keep smelling stale cat pee. And now it's back. But I dug deep, sniffed hundreds of plants, and have an answer.
What's my deal? Juniper. It sometimes grows high and narrow, sometimes low and wide; it's everywhere (although I think somehow specific to a specie in Cincinnati/Southern Ohio/Northern Kentucky). Apparently just bugs me. Smells like cat pee. Stale cat pee. It's wafting in my window right now.
Anyone else smelled this way?
Friday, May 01, 2009
Conservatives: This is Why You Can't Have Anything Nice
Hey, guess what?
Jay Severin, the fiery right wing talk show host on Boston's WTKK-FM radio station, was suspended yesterday after calling Mexican immigrants "criminaliens," "primitives," "leeches," and exporters of "women with mustaches and VD," among other incendiary comments.I guess he missed "lazy." Oh, sorry, that's black people. (that was a joke, folks)
It is people like this - and the fact that they keep showing up (or cracking their shimmery outer crust) - that detracts from ANY argument that minorities should be on the side of conservatives or Republicans.
And who says shit like that except raging, seething racists? Oh, and while I realize conservatives read this blog, please refrain from telling me "he's just racist against Mexicans." I've heard that argument before and it's a complete retardation of thought, like saying "That guy's just a pedophile for blondes." (No, I am not calling Severin a pedophile.)
Very high-end Republicans with NO record of bigotry need to stand up and repudiate stuff like this. Although the former end of the last sentence may leave a VERY small pool. Ah, well. Good on us liberals then.
___________
UPDATE: Rep. Steve King calls Black and Hispanic Congressional Caucuses "separatist groups" and House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) released a fearmongering video juxtaposing Chavez and the Congressional Hispanic Caucus.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Gary Oldman Goes Full Dwarf
Thank you to my friend, Mr Terrific, for alerting me to this video. And FilmDrunk for more information on it.
Shows I'm Currently / Recurringly Watching
For no apparent reason and in no apparent order, these are the shows I currently watch on the teevee. Yes, I watch too much teevee.
Lost
The Amazing Race
Survivor
Numb3rs
NCIS
CSI
CSI: Miami
Reaper
The Mighty Boosh
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!
Robot Chicken
Eureka
The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Fringe
Dollhouse
The Mentalist
That is all.
Lost
The Amazing Race
Survivor
Numb3rs
NCIS
CSI
CSI: Miami
Reaper
The Mighty Boosh
Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!
Robot Chicken
Eureka
The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Fringe
Dollhouse
The Mentalist
That is all.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Mighty Boosh - Vince Meets the Crack Fox
I've been catching Mighty Boosh's 3rd season on Adult Swim, and when I saw this bit last week, I just about peed myself. Squishy Boots.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
The Green Pizza Box of the Future!
No, this is not a "did you order sausage with that?" video. Nor is it a box for green pizza. Contain your disappointment.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Not Exactly "Just" In...
Caught this on the teevee a few minutes ago and because MSNBC doesn't have a live online feed, took a picture.
The first problem is with the verb agreement: "Centers for Disease Control Holds" does not fly with me. Centers hold; centers do no holds. "for Disease Control" is a prepositional phrase. CDC holds. "Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.."
The Gestalt of the language is also problematic. "This Just In" connotes news that has just popped up. "Centers for Disease Control Holds Press Conference on Swine Flu Outbreak" did not just pop up. A press conference is an ongoing event; just in means a punctuation. If you had news that they were "going to" hold a press conference, that would be just in. But by the time the CDC guy at the podium starts speaking, you must alter your "Just In" subtext to the contents of the news he is delivering as the press conference is already going on.
Just a thought.
The first problem is with the verb agreement: "Centers for Disease Control Holds" does not fly with me. Centers hold; centers do no holds. "for Disease Control" is a prepositional phrase. CDC holds. "Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.."
The Gestalt of the language is also problematic. "This Just In" connotes news that has just popped up. "Centers for Disease Control Holds Press Conference on Swine Flu Outbreak" did not just pop up. A press conference is an ongoing event; just in means a punctuation. If you had news that they were "going to" hold a press conference, that would be just in. But by the time the CDC guy at the podium starts speaking, you must alter your "Just In" subtext to the contents of the news he is delivering as the press conference is already going on.
Just a thought.
Swine Flu: Ohio Represent!
That's right, motherfuckers! Oink! Oink! Ohio's in the mix. One of only 6 states to be visited by the piggy sickness.
I know you're jealous.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Hey, Homeland Security: What the Fuck?
Perhaps you've heard of the recent release by United States Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano of a brief entitled "Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment." (click here for the PDF)
Awwwshiit. What did we just do?
Now, wait a second. You may have heard the calls of the right wing radio nutters that this is classifying veterans and pro-lifers and end times bible prophecy goons as terrorists. Well, not entirely, but...yeah. It is. To be clear, the document (and I suggest you read it. Now.) defines "rightwing terrorists/extremists" as primarily hate groups and in a kickback to the 90's reminds us of Oklahoma City and (indirectly) of Waco with a nod to today's economy and a black president.
...
How about some excerpts just as a sampling?
Okay, that's about enough.
When Bush was president, did the administration monitor "people of interest" that included just about every person who had something bad to say about the president (hey NSA guys!)? Yes. Were they dumb enough to put it all down in a document so the fucking world could jump down their throats? No. Granted, they had Patriotism on their side, so all they had to do to activate their myrmidons was issue a press release saying "Hey, if anyone - your neighbor, cousin, or mother - is doing something suspicious, it's your Patriotic Duty to report the potential threat."
My thoughts? I know; that's what you're here for.
I think Napolitano and Biden wrote this thing on 48 hours and 6 gallons of 40 proof Kamchatka Vodka and she released it on a hangover.
From an organizational perspective (coming from a degree in Writing), this is a hack job. The organization sucks, flow is non-existent, repetition is rampant, and implications/non-implications/this-is-what-we-really-meant would confuse the bejezus out of anyone.
From a political perspective, it's a bomb. It wasn't right for Bush to turn half+ of America into potential terrorists and it's not right for Obama's administration to do the same thing. It's terrifying and it's wrong. Granted, I personally believe that people that stockpile food and guns because they think Jesus is coming back to turn our Black president White are a bunch of fucking nutters. But - first off - it's their right to believe that and act on any impulse that does not harm others. Secondly, the language used here is a conversation you have in a bar when you're sure you're amongst liberal friends, not something you put to paper (or PDF in HUGE font) and release as official government policy.
I think Napolitano needs to retract the document and resign. This is a bullshit move by an administration that was running on No Bullshit, a Bushesque move by an administration promising to be different. Demonizing ...any American citizen at this point is a betrayal of that.
Awwwshiit. What did we just do?
Now, wait a second. You may have heard the calls of the right wing radio nutters that this is classifying veterans and pro-lifers and end times bible prophecy goons as terrorists. Well, not entirely, but...yeah. It is. To be clear, the document (and I suggest you read it. Now.) defines "rightwing terrorists/extremists" as primarily hate groups and in a kickback to the 90's reminds us of Oklahoma City and (indirectly) of Waco with a nod to today's economy and a black president.
...
How about some excerpts just as a sampling?
The possible passage of new restrictions on firearms and the return of military veterans facing significant challenges reintegrating into their communities could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks.
...
The high volume of purchases and stockpiling of weapons and ammunition by rightwing extremists in anticipation of restrictions and bans in some parts of the country continue to be a primary concern to law enforcement.
...
Prominent among these themes were the militia movement’s opposition to gun control efforts, criticism of free trade agreements (particularly those with Mexico), and highlighting perceived government infringement on civil liberties as well as white supremacists’ longstanding exploitation of social issues such as abortion, inter-racial crimes, and same-sex marriage.
...
Antigovernment conspiracy theories and “end times” prophecies could motivate extremist individuals and groups to stockpile food, ammunition, and weapons. These teachings also have been linked with the radicalization of domestic extremist individuals and groups in the past, such as violent Christian Identity organizations and extremist members of the militia movement.
Okay, that's about enough.
When Bush was president, did the administration monitor "people of interest" that included just about every person who had something bad to say about the president (hey NSA guys!)? Yes. Were they dumb enough to put it all down in a document so the fucking world could jump down their throats? No. Granted, they had Patriotism on their side, so all they had to do to activate their myrmidons was issue a press release saying "Hey, if anyone - your neighbor, cousin, or mother - is doing something suspicious, it's your Patriotic Duty to report the potential threat."
My thoughts? I know; that's what you're here for.
I think Napolitano and Biden wrote this thing on 48 hours and 6 gallons of 40 proof Kamchatka Vodka and she released it on a hangover.
From an organizational perspective (coming from a degree in Writing), this is a hack job. The organization sucks, flow is non-existent, repetition is rampant, and implications/non-implications/this-is-what-we-really-meant would confuse the bejezus out of anyone.
From a political perspective, it's a bomb. It wasn't right for Bush to turn half+ of America into potential terrorists and it's not right for Obama's administration to do the same thing. It's terrifying and it's wrong. Granted, I personally believe that people that stockpile food and guns because they think Jesus is coming back to turn our Black president White are a bunch of fucking nutters. But - first off - it's their right to believe that and act on any impulse that does not harm others. Secondly, the language used here is a conversation you have in a bar when you're sure you're amongst liberal friends, not something you put to paper (or PDF in HUGE font) and release as official government policy.
I think Napolitano needs to retract the document and resign. This is a bullshit move by an administration that was running on No Bullshit, a Bushesque move by an administration promising to be different. Demonizing ...any American citizen at this point is a betrayal of that.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Pirate Limbaugh's Racio-Religious Taunts
When the tales of the Somalian pirates started emerging, we were warned by everyone on the right how terrible this was because it showed us how desperate and dangerous Militant Islamic Extremists could be and how far their reach stretched.
After Obama gave the order to take out the threat because an American was hostage, and it was revealed that the pirates in question were actually in their teens, Rush Limbaugh asked his audience how they felt, how Obama could kill Black Kids.
Those are the words of a race-baiting mongrel.
Oh, and this week he off-handedly mentioned that brokering peace between the Bloods and the Crips would be easy. WTF Rush?
After Obama gave the order to take out the threat because an American was hostage, and it was revealed that the pirates in question were actually in their teens, Rush Limbaugh asked his audience how they felt, how Obama could kill Black Kids.
Those are the words of a race-baiting mongrel.
Oh, and this week he off-handedly mentioned that brokering peace between the Bloods and the Crips would be easy. WTF Rush?
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wake-Up Walmart: Workers Still Fighting for Change
Even though Obama took the helm, there are still huge problems in the heartland.
Check the video. Do something.
Check the video. Do something.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Stereographic Tokyo Photography
Trippy, beautiful, magical. Go full screen and put on a helmet - this will blow your mind. Click and drag to navigate. Warning: motion sickness may ensue. Originally snagged from BoingBoing Gadgets.
Sangaku-tei in Japan
Sangaku-tei in Japan
Monday, April 20, 2009
Happy 420, Marijuana Fans!
(2nd International Cannabis and Mental Health Conference Programme [PDF] Logo)
Out on errands today, I saw a state police sheriff's car sitting at the local gas station. And I knew he was there not to educate or enlighten the youth of America, but to intimidate anyone coming into the store to buy rolling papers.
Reminds me of the year I spent teaching high school. On 4/20, the staties came in about 1/2 of the way through the day, everyone was evacuated to the football field to tool around and not learn while the school was locked down and the drug-sniffing dogs were run through every building. The entertaining part of that day was explaining to other teachers what 420 was. The ironic part was that the War on Drugs for the Big 420 Show knocked every kid at that school out of class for half a day and not one arrest or find was made. Why? All the stoner kids skipped; they were at home getting high. Dur.
One day the majority and those in power will realize we're not only being stupid about policy but losing billions of dollars in potential taxes. One day marijuana will be legalized.
Until then, be informed. About today: 420 Origin Story. About the reality and progress of marijuana reform: NORML.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Get Your Iron On, Krofft Supershow, c. 1977
One of my favorite political and variety blogs is Monkey Muck. Check it out and see why for yourself.
But this isn't just a shameless "I love you, man!" I'd be remiss if I did not link to Monkey as the inspiration for the following online fun I found. Monkey does retro ...everything like no one else.
I'm guessing anyone under 25 is probably missing the reference to what an iron-on is. Anyone under 18 may not even know what an iron is. But that crazy Krofft Supershow; that's a class act.
But this isn't just a shameless "I love you, man!" I'd be remiss if I did not link to Monkey as the inspiration for the following online fun I found. Monkey does retro ...everything like no one else.
I'm guessing anyone under 25 is probably missing the reference to what an iron-on is. Anyone under 18 may not even know what an iron is. But that crazy Krofft Supershow; that's a class act.
Sweden's Lego Jesus Completed!
In October of '07 I wrote on how this church in Sweden was collecting Legos in order to copy this statue of Jesus. In Legos.
Thanks to some of my fab readers, I've been informed that they have pulled it off, having revealed the Lego Jesus on Easter Sunday:
Over 30,000 bricks. Amazing. Good show!
Thanks to some of my fab readers, I've been informed that they have pulled it off, having revealed the Lego Jesus on Easter Sunday:
Over 30,000 bricks. Amazing. Good show!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Pirate Bay Sends the Big Middle Finger Flag Up the Gov't Arse
Hells yeah. Pirate Bay was founded in Sweden and it was there that they got a media spanking. From The Telegraph:
Yes, there are plenty of douchebags that just download content and use it as a substitute for purchases. But there is a large faction that would never have seen a certain movie or heard a certain album except that it was there to download. And that didn't cost the industry anything. If it wasn't there, it wouldn't have been seen. And they wouldn't have gotten that exposure.
There are also many others who download to get a taste of artists and then, if they like them, they purchase the album in a show of support. Perhaps if movie machines and cookie-cutter artists weren't churning out an absurd slurry of shit on a regular basis and the radio industry hadn't collapsed into centralized pimps for that crap then, just maybe, consumers would have a little more trust in the system and a little more reason to shuck out fucking $15 for a goddamned CD - the same price we payed 15 years ago when discs weren't $0.02 to produce.
My advice is research bands on MySpace and their main websites. If they have samples, download the album from Mininova.org or like sites. If you like the album and plan on listening to it for a while, buy a copy to support the artist.
I read a couple months ago one of the most brilliant, obvious insights: The greatest fear of almost every artist is not that they will have their novel or music or indie movie downloaded for free thousands of times, but that no one will ever hear of them.
Download. Support. And long live Pirate Bay.
Oh, and fuck you Sweden (that is, not the people but the government entities that fold to corporate pressures like so many bendy straws; it could've been just as easily our elected douchebags here in the US).
Four men behind a file-sharing website that has hundreds of thousands of British users were sentenced to a year in jail and ordered to pay £2.5 million in damages yesterday for helping internet users to download music, films and computer games.
In a big victory for the entertainment industries, Fredrik Neij, 30, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, 24, Peter Sunde Kolmisoppi, 30, and Carl Lundström, 49, were found guilty of breaching copyright law in Sweden, where The Pirate Bay site was founded.
The court ordered a payment of £900,000 in compensation for 21st Century Fox and £500,000 each for MGM and Columbia Pictures.
Despite the verdicts, the four announced that The Pirate Bay, which is used by 25 million people, would continue to operate from computers based in various countries around the world. The men, who plan to appeal, will not begin their sentences or have to pay compensation until the end of the legal process.
Yes, there are plenty of douchebags that just download content and use it as a substitute for purchases. But there is a large faction that would never have seen a certain movie or heard a certain album except that it was there to download. And that didn't cost the industry anything. If it wasn't there, it wouldn't have been seen. And they wouldn't have gotten that exposure.
There are also many others who download to get a taste of artists and then, if they like them, they purchase the album in a show of support. Perhaps if movie machines and cookie-cutter artists weren't churning out an absurd slurry of shit on a regular basis and the radio industry hadn't collapsed into centralized pimps for that crap then, just maybe, consumers would have a little more trust in the system and a little more reason to shuck out fucking $15 for a goddamned CD - the same price we payed 15 years ago when discs weren't $0.02 to produce.
My advice is research bands on MySpace and their main websites. If they have samples, download the album from Mininova.org or like sites. If you like the album and plan on listening to it for a while, buy a copy to support the artist.
I read a couple months ago one of the most brilliant, obvious insights: The greatest fear of almost every artist is not that they will have their novel or music or indie movie downloaded for free thousands of times, but that no one will ever hear of them.
Download. Support. And long live Pirate Bay.
Oh, and fuck you Sweden (that is, not the people but the government entities that fold to corporate pressures like so many bendy straws; it could've been just as easily our elected douchebags here in the US).
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Bad Photoshop Gun Ad Fuels...Bad Ads
Found this on Drudge. No, do not let it come to this. What is "this?"
Bad Photoshop. Obviously a ditch superimposed with a gun that is completely out of place and poorly 'shopped into the ground.
Does this look natural to anyone?
Lesson: no matter what message you are pushing, get professional help. Hack jobs like this make your message and purpose stink of douchebaggery and, more importantly, appear laughable.
Friends don't let friends hire a cousin who took a Photoshop class to make an ad.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Chapter 15 of Life, The Universe, and Everything
One of my favorite quotes in every sense is "A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him."
Brilliant.
Douglas Adams.
But that comes from whence?
Here. Chapter 15 of Life, The Universe, and Everything.
Brilliant.
Douglas Adams.
But that comes from whence?
Here. Chapter 15 of Life, The Universe, and Everything.
Two months later, Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108 had cut the bottoms off his Galactic State jeans, and was spending part of the enormous fee his judgments commanded lying on a jewelled beach having Essence of Qualactin rubbed into his back by the same rather nice member of the jury. She was a Soolfinian girl from beyond the Cloudworlds of Yaga. She had skin like lemon silk and was very interested in legal bodies.
"Did you hear the news?" she said.
"Weeeeelaaaaah!" said Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108, and you would have had to have been there to know exactly why he said this. None of this was on the tape of Informational Illusions, and is all based on hearsay.
"No," he added, when the thing that had made him say "Weeeeelaaaaah" had stopped happening. He moved his body round slightly to catch the first rays of the third and greatest of primeval Vod's three suns which was now creeping over the ludicrously beautiful horizon, and the sky now glittered with some of the greatest tanning power ever known.
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea.
"I hope it isn't good news," muttered Zipo Bibrok 5 / 108, "'cos I don't think I could bear it."
"Your Krikkit judgment was carried out today," said the girl sumptuously. There was no need to say such a straightforward thing sumptuously, but she went ahead and did it anyway because it was that sort of day. "I heard it on the radio," she said, "when I went back to the ship for the oil."
"Uhuh," muttered Zipo and rested his head back on the jewelled sand.
"Something happened," she said.
"Mmmm?"
"Just after the Slo-Time envelope was locked," she said, and paused a moment from rubbing in the Essence of Qualactin, "a Krikkit warship which had been missing presumed destroyed turned out to be just missing after all. It appeared and tried to seize the Key."
Zipo sat up sharply.
"Hey, what?" he said.
"it's all right," she said in a voice which would have calmed the Big Bang down. "Apparently there was a short battle. The Key and the warship were disintegrated and blasted into the space-time continuum. Apparently they are lost for ever."
She smiled, and ran a little more Essence of Qualactin on to her fingertips. He relaxed and lay back down.
"Do what you did a moment or two ago," he murmured.
"That?" she said.
"No, no," he said, "that."
She tried again.
"That?" she asked.
"Weeeeelaaaaah!"
Again, you had to be there.
The fragrant breeze drifted up from the sea again.
A magician wandered along the beach, but no one needed him.
Remember The Failure
Today I was privy to Glenn Beck's proclamation that the show tonight will be LIVE From the Alamo.
Specifically, he said "remember tonight, live at the Alamo. It's time to take a stand."
I know it's too late to reach him, but perhaps, in post, his research folks might let him know that the Alamo is the poster child for Epic Fail.
The basement is where Pee-Wee's bike is hidden.
Suggested names for tonight's show: "Tower of Babel 2" and "Titanic 2."
How do people like this get a show?
Specifically, he said "remember tonight, live at the Alamo. It's time to take a stand."
I know it's too late to reach him, but perhaps, in post, his research folks might let him know that the Alamo is the poster child for Epic Fail.
The basement is where Pee-Wee's bike is hidden.
Suggested names for tonight's show: "Tower of Babel 2" and "Titanic 2."
How do people like this get a show?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Republican Tax Day Teabaggin' Party!
I've written repeatedly about how out of touch Republicans are when it comes to things like technology, entertainment, and pop culture. And now, as if staging a deliberate attempt to prove themselves fools, Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity (the Teabaggin' Triumvirate) - along with their multiple conservative mouthpieces - have been billing tomorrow's myopic homage to the Boston Tea Party as a "teabagging" event.
Here are the three biggest problems from my perspective:
Some days I just want to jump up and down and shout in wonder: How can you be so lame?
Where were the revolts when Bush killed thousands of Americans? Where were the revolts when he spent billions and billions of our dollars on Iraq - and didn't find it necessary to put it on the books?
If you look at the pictures on the teevee concerning tomorrow, you've got a bunch of assclowns holding up signs about Obama being a socialist, blah blah Wilkow/Hannity/Beck/Limbaugh juice. So apparently they're really protesting money that they pay in taxes that they do not get back in equal share? Not quite sure as the answers can range from confused to unintelligible.
So let's put it this way: I will take these people seriously as soon as they sign a federal, legally-binding document stating that they will never touch one dollar from Unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid for the rest of their lives. And if they do, we will toss them into Boston Harbor. Teabagging is optional on the deportation boat.
Here are the three biggest problems from my perspective:
- The Boston Tea Party was a revolt in response to paying taxes to England, a form of "Taxation without representation." We currently have elected representation in America.
- As of tomorrow, revolting against taxes will actually be revolting against the George W. Bush tax structure as no federal tax (save cigs *argh*) has been enacted by President Obama.
- UrbanDictionary.com defines Teabagging as: To have a man insert his scrotum into another person's mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.
Some days I just want to jump up and down and shout in wonder: How can you be so lame?
Where were the revolts when Bush killed thousands of Americans? Where were the revolts when he spent billions and billions of our dollars on Iraq - and didn't find it necessary to put it on the books?
If you look at the pictures on the teevee concerning tomorrow, you've got a bunch of assclowns holding up signs about Obama being a socialist, blah blah Wilkow/Hannity/Beck/Limbaugh juice. So apparently they're really protesting money that they pay in taxes that they do not get back in equal share? Not quite sure as the answers can range from confused to unintelligible.
So let's put it this way: I will take these people seriously as soon as they sign a federal, legally-binding document stating that they will never touch one dollar from Unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid for the rest of their lives. And if they do, we will toss them into Boston Harbor. Teabagging is optional on the deportation boat.
Marilyn Chambers Dies
Tragically at only 56 years old, Marilyn Chambers, known as one of the first "cross-over" actresses for going from slinging Ivory Snow to mainstream pornography, was found dead by her 17 year old daughter.
She will be missed.
And I now have a valid reason for downloading classic porn to my computer. Yay history!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Some New and Old News - Sex, Religion, Killin'
Octomom porno? I'll wait while you cause yourself great pain to block the memory of reading those words. Reality show? Believe it.
Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) is worried capping CO2 will take away plant food. Seriously.
Even better to watch:
Obama's administration dropped the War on Terror rhetoric. Officially. Hells yeah.
Last week OPEC said oil had nothing to do with climate change. In related news, cigarette manufacturers said smoke is nutritious, and AIG released a report that borrowing money you cannot afford to borrow increases life expectancy.
Bob Barker came close to a career in porn. Just scratch out one eye, so you can read the rest of the post. Unless that happened at Octomom. Better to be blind.
Apparently Americans are still dying in Iraq.
And if I remember my Catholic School upbringing, it's Good Friday, so 9am to 12pm represents the walk up the hill, then Jesus hung out (hehe) for 3 more hours, and it's 2:59, so 3...2...1. Jesus just died.
!SPOILER ALERT!
No worries; he comes back to life on Sunday morning.
Have a happy Easter.
Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) is worried capping CO2 will take away plant food. Seriously.
SHIMKUS: It’s plant food. … So if we decrease the use of carbon dioxide, are we not taking away plant food from the atmosphere? … So all our good intentions could be for naught. In fact, we could be doing just the opposite of what the people who want to save the world are saying.
Even better to watch:
Obama's administration dropped the War on Terror rhetoric. Officially. Hells yeah.
Last week OPEC said oil had nothing to do with climate change. In related news, cigarette manufacturers said smoke is nutritious, and AIG released a report that borrowing money you cannot afford to borrow increases life expectancy.
Bob Barker came close to a career in porn. Just scratch out one eye, so you can read the rest of the post. Unless that happened at Octomom. Better to be blind.
Apparently Americans are still dying in Iraq.
And if I remember my Catholic School upbringing, it's Good Friday, so 9am to 12pm represents the walk up the hill, then Jesus hung out (hehe) for 3 more hours, and it's 2:59, so 3...2...1. Jesus just died.
!SPOILER ALERT!
No worries; he comes back to life on Sunday morning.
Have a happy Easter.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
You Know What They Say About them Chinese in Texas...
No?
Think Progress has this one, telling us about how Texas State Rep. Betty Brown recently stated "during House testimony on voter identification legislation:"
And the Republican party wonders why they have a continual problem attracting minorities.
Think Progress has this one, telling us about how Texas State Rep. Betty Brown recently stated "during House testimony on voter identification legislation:"
Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?Betty continues to back her comments, refusing to apologize, even in the fake, non-apology way most politicians do.
And the Republican party wonders why they have a continual problem attracting minorities.
Storm o' Gay Commin' ta Getcha
National Organization for Marriage has put out this video because in the last week both Iowa and Vermont have made the very rational decision that "separate" is not "equal" when it comes to same sex marriage.
[UPDATE (thanks, Namoi!):the District of Columbia's City Council approved, 12-0 (w00t!), that the District will recognize same-sex marriages from all 50 states.]
Some people are afraid of teh gay, and because they can't just say "we just don't like them queers" they want to make you afeared as well so everyone can be scared together and blame a common gay enemy. So their argument is by giving same sex couples the same rights as straight couples, straight people will lose their rights. What rights? Well, don't worry about that. Explanations are just for those elitist homos anyway.
Try not to throw up in the back of your throat while being slathered with mediocre production values and ignorant bigotry.
[UPDATE AGAIN!]: Think Progress packed in a couple of the Anti-gay screen test auditions for those fake doctors and mothers reading thorough the scripts. Yes, it will make you even madder.
[UPDATE (thanks, Namoi!):the District of Columbia's City Council approved, 12-0 (w00t!), that the District will recognize same-sex marriages from all 50 states.]
Some people are afraid of teh gay, and because they can't just say "we just don't like them queers" they want to make you afeared as well so everyone can be scared together and blame a common gay enemy. So their argument is by giving same sex couples the same rights as straight couples, straight people will lose their rights. What rights? Well, don't worry about that. Explanations are just for those elitist homos anyway.
Try not to throw up in the back of your throat while being slathered with mediocre production values and ignorant bigotry.
[UPDATE AGAIN!]: Think Progress packed in a couple of the Anti-gay screen test auditions for those fake doctors and mothers reading thorough the scripts. Yes, it will make you even madder.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Legend of Zelda Trailer!
No, not really. Well, really, but it was IGN's "tits" 2008 April Fool's joke to the world. And if you haven't seen it, take a look.
It actually looks a little better than a SciFi Original. I'd torrent it.
It actually looks a little better than a SciFi Original. I'd torrent it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
ShamWow: You'll Say "Hooker, Gimmie My Fucking Tongue Back" Every Time
The Smoking Gun is my hero today.
You know Vince from ShamWow, right? How about a refresher on the mug:
Wait! Holy asshats, Vince? Why do you look so disheveled?
Turns out that Vince picked up this girl:
Wait! Why does she look like that?
Can I tell the fucking story? Cause ya know we can't do this all day.
Vince was propositioned by the girl above, took her back to his hotel, gave her $1000, and apparently at first kiss, she clamped down on his tongue which prompted him to struggle and then repeatedly beat her about the face and head at which point she finally let go. Vince ran down to the lobby, bleeding, cops got involved, and they were both stitched and booked. Not surprisingly, it appears they were both drunk.
Ah, Vince, 15 minutes can be so short. Ya won't find Billy Mays whoring it up like that.
You know Vince from ShamWow, right? How about a refresher on the mug:
Wait! Holy asshats, Vince? Why do you look so disheveled?
Turns out that Vince picked up this girl:
Wait! Why does she look like that?
Can I tell the fucking story? Cause ya know we can't do this all day.
Vince was propositioned by the girl above, took her back to his hotel, gave her $1000, and apparently at first kiss, she clamped down on his tongue which prompted him to struggle and then repeatedly beat her about the face and head at which point she finally let go. Vince ran down to the lobby, bleeding, cops got involved, and they were both stitched and booked. Not surprisingly, it appears they were both drunk.
Ah, Vince, 15 minutes can be so short. Ya won't find Billy Mays whoring it up like that.
Hannity, Catholic, Obama, Notre Dame Bullshit
Rut-roah. Obama's inflaming the Catholics!
Well, not all Catholics. Obama is set to deliver the commencement speech at Notre Dame College. Notre Dame is a Catholic school. And Obama is openly pro-choice. OMG!
The truth of the matter is that there are and have been Obama detractors out there looking for any damn thing to pin their dislike of Obama on (you know, besides that he's black). Our case in point is my favorite assclown and yours:
Last week Sean Hannity went into a tirade about how wrong it was for Notre Dame to allow Obama to speak at commencement. He then proceeded to remind listeners that he had received his own flap from Catholics for saying that he prefers birth control over abortion.
The problem here is not with Obama's politics but with a mix of detractors and Catholic doctrine. The pro-choice argument is bullshit; Obama is a man and has not and will never have an abortion, will never commit that sin. And by Hannity's own admission, he himself has said things against Catholic doctrine and should not be allowed to speak at Notre Dame. How about anyone who's not Catholic? By doctrine, they are sinning against God. How about a war hero who killed people in battle? Where do you draw the line?
Well, when you're trying to implicate someone you simply don't like, it appears you just draw the line at Obama.
Note to whiny Catholics: shut up and look in the mirror. I think Jesus said something about that too, didn't he? Without sin and all that? Then again, Catholic doctrine tends to focus more on the Vatican's rules, pomp, and circumstance than on stuff that guy said in that one book.
UPDATE: Pat Buchanan, in an address to the choads who spoon up the Human Events newsletter by sackful - an Irish Catholic himself - dumped this bullshit in a brief bit entitled "Is Notre Dame Still Catholic?" :
First point: no one's excommunicated from the church anymore, except in perhaps very rare circumstances. So Pat knows very little about his own religion.
Second point: Neither Biden nor Pelosi have ever been physically, in-person denied communion. Bishops have whined and threatened and shook their fist in the air, but no one has refused to give either that flavorless Necco wafer we all call a piece of Jesus's flesh.
So Pat lied. And that makes him a sinner. And that might just preclude him from speaking at Notre Dame. So I guess Notre Dame's still Catholic. Are you Pat?
Well, not all Catholics. Obama is set to deliver the commencement speech at Notre Dame College. Notre Dame is a Catholic school. And Obama is openly pro-choice. OMG!
The truth of the matter is that there are and have been Obama detractors out there looking for any damn thing to pin their dislike of Obama on (you know, besides that he's black). Our case in point is my favorite assclown and yours:
Last week Sean Hannity went into a tirade about how wrong it was for Notre Dame to allow Obama to speak at commencement. He then proceeded to remind listeners that he had received his own flap from Catholics for saying that he prefers birth control over abortion.
The problem here is not with Obama's politics but with a mix of detractors and Catholic doctrine. The pro-choice argument is bullshit; Obama is a man and has not and will never have an abortion, will never commit that sin. And by Hannity's own admission, he himself has said things against Catholic doctrine and should not be allowed to speak at Notre Dame. How about anyone who's not Catholic? By doctrine, they are sinning against God. How about a war hero who killed people in battle? Where do you draw the line?
Well, when you're trying to implicate someone you simply don't like, it appears you just draw the line at Obama.
Note to whiny Catholics: shut up and look in the mirror. I think Jesus said something about that too, didn't he? Without sin and all that? Then again, Catholic doctrine tends to focus more on the Vatican's rules, pomp, and circumstance than on stuff that guy said in that one book.
UPDATE: Pat Buchanan, in an address to the choads who spoon up the Human Events newsletter by sackful - an Irish Catholic himself - dumped this bullshit in a brief bit entitled "Is Notre Dame Still Catholic?" :
To Catholics, abortion is the killing of an unborn child, a premeditated breach of God's Commandment "Thou Shalt Not Kill." The case is closed for all time. Any who participate in an abortion are excommunicated. Catholic politicians from Nancy Pelosi to Joe Biden who support a "woman's right to choose" have been denounced from pulpits and denied Communion.
First point: no one's excommunicated from the church anymore, except in perhaps very rare circumstances. So Pat knows very little about his own religion.
Second point: Neither Biden nor Pelosi have ever been physically, in-person denied communion. Bishops have whined and threatened and shook their fist in the air, but no one has refused to give either that flavorless Necco wafer we all call a piece of Jesus's flesh.
So Pat lied. And that makes him a sinner. And that might just preclude him from speaking at Notre Dame. So I guess Notre Dame's still Catholic. Are you Pat?
And I am a Dork
So I was playing Mass Effect - my new Xbox addiction - and I took out this rogue virtual intelligence and an army of bots and when it dies, it takes over all airwaves in binary over and over with this:
01001000
01000101
01001100
01010000
And without looking it up, I knew it translated to "HELP."
Reminded me of a photoshop in my archive. No, featured image is not me.
01001000
01000101
01001100
01010000
And without looking it up, I knew it translated to "HELP."
Reminded me of a photoshop in my archive. No, featured image is not me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
