Van Mural Wednesday - Giraffe!?

You'd think that a post with this title might have one...maybe two images. You'd be wrong! We've got 4 - count 'em 4 - images to share with you today!


Okay, not really a van, but a giraffe all the same - on a vehicle!


Giraffe in the snow? Not...computing....


Awwwshit. That's all giraffe.


And that's the Oscar Mayer Weiner of Giraffemobiles. Rock on! Probably got some giraffes in there, yo! Sippin' on some Hennessey ('cause giraffes like cognac - duh - check out your Wildlife Treasury, bitch!)


And that's how we roll...

Sen. George Voinovich (R-OH) is a Blind Moron

I saw a note on a blog the other day noting that George Voinovich's Contact Page had no mention of Unemployment or Jobs. I checked it out and - okay, you already believe it - in the "Topic" you'd want to choose as the subject of your communication, there is absolutely no choice for...oh, hell, let's just list all of Sen. Douchebag's choices here for us to all ponder over, shall we?

.....HOT TOPICS.....
Associated Health Plans
Broadcast Decency Act
Gas Prices
Internet Neutrality
National Security
Same Sex Marriage
School Voucher Program
Social Security
Terrorism
War In Iraq
.....CONSTITUENT SERVICES.....
Casework
Flag Request
Service Academy Nominations
Tour Request
.....GENERAL TOPICS.....
Abortion
Agriculture
Banking-General
Budget
Children's Issues
Communications
Defense-General
Economy-General
Education
Energy
Environment
Foreign Affairs
Government Affairs
Health Care-General
Housing
Immigration
Intelligence Issues
Judiciary
Labor
Nuclear Weapons
Seniors' Issues
Small Business
Tax-General
Trade-General
Transportation
Veterans Affairs
Other

We start with HOT TOPICS. Read: Scary, right-wing talking points. I'm surprised "Them Niggers is Votin'!" isn't listed. Case in point? "Internet Neutrality" The only people talking about it are right wing radio nutters who are bald-face lying about its basic definition (and probably calling it that when anyone in the know calls it "Net Neutrality" - alliteration anyone?). Everyone else knows Neutrality is what we have now. And I'm guessing his topic is not listed to quell the mis-directed "Obama Ownz Da Internets" shoutings of his idiot-driven constituency.

We can skip the services. Meh.

But now that we've seen that the HOT TOPICS (that don't include Voinovich getting all Goth/Emo on us) did NOT include anything about job security or unemployment, then it MUST be in the General Topics, no?

Um, no. Oh, you could choose "Banking-General" 'cause you don't have no money in it, or Budget because when paycheck-to-paycheck turns to unemployment-check-to-unemployment-check turns to "maybe I should rob that aforementioned bank," that might work. But then you might choose Banking-General again.

You could pick Economy-General because Ohio's has been tanking since the 80's with a weak 90's jump and the whole state's missing the latest jump shot in Lebron's rape of Cleveland. You could pick Defense-General because you might choose a rifle over gas in the car as your jobless neighbors become squatters then homeless and the homeless move in to become squatters next door; though that might be Housing. You could pick Children's Issues because the kids are starving because there are no jobs and no money.

What you cannot pick, when trying to contact Senator George Voinovich, is a category labeled "Jobs" or "Unemployment." But maybe because there are no jobs and unemployment's run out for many, he finds it irrelevant. Maybe Georgie figures poor people don't have access to computers or the internet and therefore can't email him. Or maybe he thinks since Obama controls the internets, it's not worth his time.

Republicans don't get humor or technology or compassion and that's fine. I understand that. I don't get why they keep getting elected, but that's a whole nother post.

The Republican Senator of the State of Ohio - a state that is over the 10% mark in unemployment - is missing "Unemployment" or "Jobs" or "Job Creation" or "Joblessness" as a BASIC category of communication online. How fucking out of touch with your constituency must you be to have "Internet Neutrality" in the HOT TOPIC section and not even mention that 10% of working adults...are NOT working? Are the expensive suits and great hotels and extreme taxpayer-paid vacations and fabulous homes all giving you a rich-man brain-wash enema? Because you and the rest of the Republicans are completely ignoring the jobless in our country, you've done NOTHING to create jobs in Ohio (and shitting every Democrat idea is technically LESS than nothing), and yet you yodel about breaking taxes for the fucking RICH! (I'm guessing you're on the "that pays for itself" shovels o' bullshit wagon.)

The Republicans are not going to "win" anything in the fall, Senator V. And that's a shame, because they've already lost their souls in arguing for the last two years against everything compassionate and progressive (as in "helping the human condition progress") while offering no real solutions except to say the other guy is wrong. You're going to lose because you keep shouting "budget" and "deficit" but we all know you raped those things under W. And now you're backtracking, while vomiting platitudes of feces out your mouths. But you don't - and never will - get it. People don't care about bigger economic bullshit theories when they can't make ends meet, when they can't put dinner on the table. They just want a damn job.

And you haven't done a damn thing to help those people.

As a matter of fact, you haven't even offered them a way to communicate with you.

Kitten in a Hat

Just a wash to help that last post descend a bit. Enjoy!

Whitest Kids U'Know: Clint Webb

Yeah, I've been kinda incommunicado as of late. And I'll probably dump my life-changing personal and social issues on you sooner or later, but until I decide that sharing pain anonymously is really going to dilute the process of going through it, please enjoy a clip from a show you can catch on IFC.

Hamsters Are Scary, KIA!

This is the new commercial from KIA. Featuring Hamsters.



It raped my eyes. CGI bringing Furry realities to us is not good use of technology. It is terrifying to us and just encouraging them. There are people jerking off to this!

Fuck you, KIA.

(okay, it was a little cool because I love advances in CGI)

Ladies & Comics: Dawn & Death

Based on some inspiration from Cal's fantastic blog post on Wonder Woman's new costume, there was a bit of discussion about the oversexualized women in comics (as one aspect of what keeps bringing the boys - and men - back) and I immediately thought of Dawn.

The series of different comics featuring Dawn, goddess of birth and rebirth, and her lover, Death is exactly what we describe when we talk about over-the-top eye candy. And the storylines weren't exactly the most brilliant writing in the comic world.






And in thinking about beauty and storytelling I was immediately drawn to a place I don't return nearly enough. When you take various artists and combine them with the sharp wit and brilliant writing of Niel Gaiman, you get Death, one of the Endless who pull the strings of existence.







Seriously, stare at the Dawn all you want, but if you haven't picked up the Sandman comics you are missing a true piece of literature.


...and then there's someone's take on the Little Mermaid. I have no reason or excuses.

Van Mural Wizards!

This week we're all about wizards! Why? Because they're wizards, ass!


Wizard!


...Wizard?


Hehe...Trim Wizard. Yeah, dat's wat dey call me!


And I don't even know who tagged this guy, but he just showed up on my GISRP. So...Viking Wizard!

Epic Undercover Cop FAIL

Milk is Like Oil Cause Obama's Stupid n Stuff!

If you've missed some of the recent goofy "Obama it the Devil" blasts over the past week or so, might want to take a look at this one talking about how the EPA has classified storage of large amounts of milk as something to be handled carefully, like storage of oil.

Obviously, this post and subsequent re-posts and stories about Milk=Oil were a lovely and timely right-wing sensationalism meant to paint Obama as a killer of industry, ignorer of the Gulf, having priorities wrong, etc.

So let's review a couple facts concerning the supposed slam:

• The EPA rule changes equating animal fat (and by extension, milk) storage to that of oil are part of the EPA Emergency Management Spill Prevention, Control, and Countermeasure (SPCC) Rule.


• The SPCC Rule was enacted in 2002 (under Bush), with implementation deadlines for facilities (including farms) by November 2009.


• Since Obama took office, in June 2009 an extension was added to give facilities until November 2010 to comply.


• Also, November 2009 amendments made to the rule currently under consideration include exemption of milk storage.

If we're going to sully an administration' s reputation on an absurdity of government handling, let's get the right administration.

If you care to dig more, feel free to start here: http://www.epa. gov/oem/content/spcc/

Internets: What is Odd?

Today's word is "odd." Let's see what the internets thinks, shall we?



If your glasses are odd and they reflect personality...what you sayin' 'bout my personality? I can guarantee with glasses like that her mouth opens much wider that it looks. And she's got little teeth ;)




Wait, if he catches it? So my personal enjoyment is based on the aptitude of a metal frog automaton that runs on 2 D batteries? That doesn't sound like fun. But I bet it's loud!




Yeah, totally odd. I didn't think they made Buick convertibles in the 80's.




Very odd. If you're going to go to that extent, might as well make it a SleepNumber. And must you wear platforms and have a Kid 'n' Play haircut to sleep in one?




Odd, I didn't know Gary Coleman and Dana Plato were an item.


So there's your odd for the week. Now get off my lawn!

In Short: Afghanistan: Seriously, We Can't Win

In light of the resignation of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, I think there's something we're overlooking: We can't win the war.

For every "Number 2 Al Qaeda Dead" headline we see, another takes his place. It's a Hydra, invoking religion in a reality with little more to grasp onto, every day creating hundreds of soldiers whose main goal is to die for the cause. Our troops want to complete the job and come home.

When will anyone see this discrepancy? Or are we cursed to feed American troops into the mouth of madness forever?

Where is the outrage?

Christian Children's Fund

Is it epidemic? Here's an older version of the Christian Children's Fund commercial starring actor Alan Sader:




I can't find a version of the new commercial online right now, but Mr. Sader's put on about 30 lbs. Isn't that a bad thing when it comes to pitching how badly kids are starving? Why not give them some of your food, Mr. Sader?

Warning to Mr. Sader: Diet time. Remember Sally Struthers?

Jon Stewart: Oil Independence

If you haven't seen last week's review of how badly we in America ca fail at something, do it. Do it now. You will laugh as a crust to the internal sadness of the reality of the situation.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
An Energy-Independent Future
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Van Mural Mural Van Again! Again!

NYPD, in a bid to cut costs, has gone with murals of paddywagons which are 90% cheaper than the real thing but only fool about 10% of observers.




And I like how the windows are painted over so you can't see the kidnapped kid struggling in back, dressed as a dwarf.

Dear God

One of my favorite songs of all time. Reminds me to be angry.

Original XTC



Get pissed off - not at the politicians, but the universe. Get angry. Turn up the music, jump around the room, scream at the top of your lungs, and punch the walls if you can afford to fix them. Break something. Shout. Holler.

Throw a fucking plate down on the road in front of your house. And scream again!

Sarah McLachlan



Then do something about it.

I'm worried that the anger us liberals feel is not so much about a president that talked about the stick then showed us a rope, but a need to call bullshit on a higher power.

Republicans don't have the nuts to make the call. We do.

BULLSHIT!

If it's time for change, WE make change! No one else!

Tricky Remix



More Mojo



Cry. Cry every second. Then bring fire. We need fire.

God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor

Depeche Mode for y'all.

I, too, expect to find him laughing...




...and my fav vid from XTC, just for kicks...



...a whole post on covers of that coming...

England: Grow a Dick

Oh, noes! Tea n crumpets! It's British-Bashing!

In the last 24 hours, I've heard that Obama's "echoes" comparison about how 9/11 showed us our vulnerabilities as did the BP disaster. I've heard Americans everywhere fling verbal poo at BP. And I've heard Glenn Beck call soccer a bunch of names to show what a wuss he is.

England's response? All these things are British-bashing. Bullshit.

I'm an unabashed Anglophile, and this is just unfortunate. Have a fucking pint of Bass and go cry in your Figurehead's crown. C'mon! Stiff upper lip and all that. Where'd that go? Stop your damned whining and pretend - for just a second - that at one time the sun never set on your empire. What? Did the US kicking your ass out and liberty for your other colonies and assassinating Princess Di and the Harry Potter fandom and a draw in the World Cup make your testicles ascend? You've still got Monty Python and The Mighty Boosh and Sting and the Beatles and Mick Jagger and Mr. Bean and good damn tea and icy lollies your own monetary system and part of Ireland (bitches!) and Vivien Leigh for fuck's sake.

Stop your whining and grow a dick.

The're Still Doing the Unpatriotic Dance

I recently got into it with some people of a mostly-political list I belong to full of intelligent people (starts with an M) on all sides of the aisle. And despite these folks being card-carrying smart, I still get posts saying Obama refuses to salute the flag. WTF?



So I broke it down. This is what I wrote:

For the record, the quips about Obama based on video presented at http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3759803 should be clarified by Title 36 of the US Code, which states that during the National Anthem, all non-military personnel in attendance, when the flag is displayed, "should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart." (http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/36/301.html). This confirms that all candidates were wrong in not facing the flag behind them.

However, I think the most interesting aspect of this back-and-forth is the purposeful abuse of language on the right.

According to this email & links, the following has happened once: President Obama did not place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

The first intentional manipulation of the language is the change of word choice to the verb "refuse": President Obama refused to place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

This turns the inaction to an active defiance of custom or observation. But just as I cannot refuse a cookie if not offered one, Obama cannot refuse to place his hand on his heart unless prompted or reminded. There is no such prerequisite action documented anywhere, any time.

The second intentional manipulation of the language is the generalization via tense of the already-inaccurate statement: This president refuses to place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem.

So now a single inaction has been transformed into a standard of defiant intent against our National Anthem.

The final manipulation is the generalization to all forms of observance: President Obama refuses to place his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance., President Obama refused to salute the flag., etc.

And in what I applaud as impressive propagandic efficiency, the last version of the "playing telephone" messages is what we hear as the peal of the bell from the right wing blog, radio, and Fox news. Unsubstantiated, some outright lies, all in a desperate attempt to turn one physical inaction into a malicious, deviant character trait that pervades his very being: unpatriotic.

And I think that's the most laughable aspect of the whole slime train: They go that far in defamation of character and land the deal with a sad attempt to objectify patriotism - love and dedication to country - something as subjective and personal as religion.

Unfortunately, most people on the right bow down to the AM band and wait for that cry of Unpatriotic to trigger and justify the disgust they feel for our current president without even thinking about it, let alone following the trail of falsehoods backwards to figure out where the declaration originated.

Personally, when I'm confronted with the dumbing down of something as complicated as Patriotism to whether or not you're wearing an American flag pin that was probably made in China and everyone scrambles for that signifier, I put my trust in the guy who says "No pin for me."

Tea Party Eats July 4th in Cincinnati

Here's the link.

Near where I live in Cincinnati, Hyde Park has a problem on the 4th of July: no one wants to subsidize the fireworks and parade venture. Who's going to save the day? Who's going to save America from potentially-unpatriotic non-shenanigans? The Tea Party!

They claim that there will be no proselytizing during the event, but [insert 5000 links here] documents how stupid and offensive they can be.

Oddly enough, Hyde Park is a younger, hipper, more liberal section of a city that is - for the most part - relatively conservative. Infiltration. And a great marketing move for a party associated with racists and gun-toting morons.

What's next?

I leave you with awesome:



Feel free to steal it :)

Say Hi to the Fab N00bs!

Last person of my following bunch I said hello to was Blueberry over at Texas Oasis. Hey there again!

And since then we've got a few more! So let's all give a hardy CFC Welcome* to (if there be no link, there be no blog):

Pearl
Camila Alvares
Debra, She Who Seeks
The Invisible Seductress
Chris at Rabid Intuition

Visit, comment, love.


*(Despite the tone you may have interpreted on this blog "CFC Welcome" is defined by clapping or commenting, not a pearl necklace and a Cleveland steamer.)