How Disney Stories Ended (awesome video)

Amazing singing / editing / creative talent and worth every second. :)

Wealth Distribution: Ouch

It's going to hurt. But you need to watch.

Beauty & Glamour

Thirty seconds of awesome. Weirdest thing you'll see today. Happy Friday!

Keep Calm and ...WTF?

Okay, folks. I'm gonna get a little sanctimonious on y'all's asses, get a little political on something that means very little here in the US of A - in Murica - except to a little subpopulation I like to refer to as "The Irish."

I saw this piece of shit online and got way more upset about it than I should have:



Really?

We're taking the "Keep Calm and Carry On" BRITISH maxim logo and giving it and IRISH twist? The British, who still occupy Northern Ireland? While Scotland and Wales are entertaining independence, the Queen's English still have their wee dicks stuck in the northern six counties of the Republic of Ireland? Combining the Crown of the UK with the drunken shamrock farce of Eire? As a man who won't drink a lick of Bushmill's*, this is a motherfucking bloody outrage! Margaret Thatcher is a cunt!


[Disclaimer: this is a farce. I find it ironic and unfortunate but am not really worked up, in case you didn't catch the clues.

Also: *Bushmill's is considered an Irish Whiskey, but because it is produced in Northern Ireland, I have met a few die-hard Irish that would rather drink a gallon of piss than a bottle made in, promoted by, and sending taxes to England.

Also: Margaret Thatcher was a cunt. And I have a photoshop image I shamefully created on request involving MT and rope and nipples that I will post a link to in the comments if requested.]

Conspiracy! Sandy Hook, Bullets, and Collapsing America

I'll weigh in on Sandy Hook and gun control in the coming weeks as I get my feet wet again, but I wanted to point out a couple insane conspiracy theories going around. And these aren't just "Holy hell check out this dark, scary corner of the internets," but things I have heard discussed by callers on mainstream, right-wing radio shows (as per usual, the hosts don't disavow the nuttery, they goad them on and ask why mainstream media isn't picking up on this) and people on my Facebook stream.

*shiver*

Sandy Hook

You know the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting never happened, right? It was just an exercise. No one is dead: no teachers, no children. No parents are truly grieving because it's all an act.

See, Obama had to push his radical gun-control agenda through as the first step to confiscating all guns and turning America into a police state. But he knew no one would have that, so he staged a school shooting targeting young children. The stories? The police? The deaths? The emotion? The sentiment? All fake. Because Obama is Hitler.

I am not linking anything here because no one involved deserves a link. But if you want to be terrified by humanity, a quick Google search will lead you to that place. And here's something that showed up on my FB feed today to rustle your jimmies:




Bullet Buyin'

The US Government is buying up all the bullets. Like all of them. Like billions of bullets so even if you hide your guns Obama wants to make sure you can't shoot 'em. Even the IRS is gettin' bullets. OMG!

Obviously, there are no real reports backing this but you can find it all over. Of course, the government buys a great deal of bullets; most of its offices have enforcement arms and then we have that whole military thing. The other side, of course, is that there are less bullets available currently because ...the nutters are drinking the NRA Kool-Aid and snatching up stockpiles because they think Obama wants your guns!

Conspiracy theorists are so meta.


Miscellaneous Nuts

Again, sorry for making you search (if you're that interested in the horror), but I refuse to give any of these goons links (which gives them search engine juice). Frighteningly, it's not hard to find.

• Not just Obama, but the UN is going to send troops into the US in order to confiscate all our guns.
• The Obama administration is currently, secretly building concentration camps in which to imprison Americans in the coming police state
• There is an actual group called Friends of Hamas and Chuck Hagel is in bed with them. (This one has been loudly and repeatedly debunked, but the right keeps on beating the drum of lies)
• Sekrit Moslom Kenyan Obama is going to change the constitution in order to begin his tyrannical reign with a third presidential term

Really, there is no end to the crazy. The Sandy Hook stuff creeps me the hell out, but conservatives are so whacked out about our black president, they just don't know how to attack any more. And for a lovely overview, Mother Jones put together this Obama Conspiracy Theory infographic. And that deserves some linking.

Any crazy crazy stuff you guys hear lately?

Day of Resistance is Tomorrow *facepalm*

So because Obama is singlehandedly dismantling the 2nd Amendment and looking forward to his time using his Kenya Powers to fly around America and take all the guns from all the people, tomorrow is the DAY OF RESISTANCE! From their website:

On January 16, 2013, President Barack Obama issued 23 executive actions against your 2nd amendment Constitutional right to bear arms. He did this without the consent of Congress which in itself, violates the foundation of the Constitution and the co-equal branches of government.

In response to these unconstitutional actions by the President, on .223, February 23, 2013 the American people will stand together in defiance to protect the right that protects ALL of our rights, the 2nd Amendment! They will organize locally so that they may band together neighbor to neighbor and reassert their community's right to determine their own destiny! Join today by selecting an option below.

I'm not going to address the stupid behind the fear behind the executive orders (none of which have been taken, just suggested) and their unconstitutionality (they're put forth in a way that the constitution does not forbid and every president uses them).

*sigh*

So take a look at the official rally list and see if you need to stay indoors tomorrow. The official Gun Appreciation Day ended in seven or so hospital visits from accidentally discharged firearms. I'm guessing this will be much, much worse.

PS4 Announcement Synopsis (parody)

Even if you're not into video games, this is pretty funny and certainly worth the watch.

Jesus Christ is My Nigga

I know you're craving misguided youth outlook programs on the YouTubes. Well, here's, well ...just watch it. It's wonderfully terrible.

In Brief: The 2nd Amendment

Why do most conservatives you hear raging against gun control only ever refer to the name of the amendment?

Because if they had to quote it directly, they would have to acknowledge two rather difficult words:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Inconvenient, that is.

And while I have your attention, Thom Hartmann's piece on the Second Amendment and how it was partially constructed to preserve slavery is a must-read for anyone remotely interested in the gun debate.

Cincinnati's Brian Thomas: Head-Exploding Ignorance

Our local AM morning talk show (before you get to Beck and Limbaugh and Hannity and Levin) here in Cincinnati is hosted by Brian Thomas on WKRC 550. Now, Brian is the sort of person you'd expect on a station like this: fiercely conservative spin-master of talking points of both sides while conveying an "aw, shucks" everyman reasonability.

However, this morning Brian went so far off the rails that I need to relay this tale. He had a caller this morning who didn't say much more than "Keep pointing out the socialism in the State of the Union" because she even has Christian friends who didn't think there was anything wrong with it and there are too many "stupid people."

And at this point, Brian went off on a self-described "tear." He said that Obama shouldn't be offering to help the needy or teach poor kids to read because that "is a theocracy" and by usurping good deeds, Obama - in his theocracy - is robbing Christians of the benefit they get from doing those good deeds, robbing them of the "feel good" aspect of helping others.

WTF?

Somehow Brian has missed some very basic ideas here:

• Christianity is not about fretting over your reward. If you're doing that, you're doing it wrong.
• Christianity is not about fretting over how many "feel good"s you get today. If it is, you're doing it wrong.
• Helping others in need is a good thing in any context; Christians don't own that.
• Helping others in need at a governmental level is NOT a theocracy.
• I can't buy wine on Sunday at my local UDF? That's theocratic.
• Legislating the "sanctity" of marriage? That's theocratic.
• Legislating creationism into the science classroom? That's theocratic.
• Legislating reproductive rights based not on science but a blurb in a 2000 year old book? That's theocratic.

I understand Brian is doing his best to tow the party line and turn anything Obama says - even if it were to be wonderful or beautiful or in lock-step with the Republican party - into dogmatic feces, but this morning's theocratic socialistic mind vomit was beyond the pale.

Brian: I know that 90% of listeners this morning sat back and just accepted that brief bit of babble into their subconscious mind, but if you don't mind the gibberish, you're stirring up a heaping helping of simmering mind melt out in your audience.

The Best 2 Superbowl Commercials

Here's my favorites. Pulled some tears, each one.

Brotherhood


God Made a Farmer



Oh, and yeah, I'm back.

Straight Facts on 12/21/12

I have already heard in person and seen on Facebook enough bullshit about 2012 that I feel like a few facts might help you readers strike down the stupid in a little cheat sheet here.

Quick notes for 12/21/12:

1. As a people, they are the Maya, not the Mayans.
2. As a people, they still exist as a culture, despite the Spanish.
3. The Mayan calendar does not "end" any more than our calendar ends on Dec. 31st.
4. Calendars are cyclical, ours and theirs. What happened today was a transition to the new (14th) b'ak'tun (or 13.0.0.0.0) on the long count calendar.
5. One b'ak'tun is 144,000 days, so it's kind of a big deal.
6. The Maya NEVER predicted cataclysm on this turn. That was a fairly recent construct of an intersection of New Age ideas, conspiracy theory, and popular culture.
7. A full set of 20 b'ak'tun (piktun) will occur October 13, 4772. HUGE deal. Still: no end of days.

So tonight, raise a glass to the Maya and the new b'ak'tun. But be careful out there friends: there are a great deal of misinformed people looking for an excuse to ignore all consequence. Cheers!

The Maya Madness

Tomorrow is 12/21/12 as we date in the US. Tomorrow will not end us any more than the cycle we look at in blocks is really a circle from December 31st to January 1st. On the WAY outside, it might usher in an age of enlightenment, but there won't be anything massively destructive going on.

But many people will think that. Our popular culture has pushed this idea far enough that I fear for one thing: stupid human action.

Have a drink, celebrate the Maya cycle. But be safe, my friends.



(Sorry, the absence is just me sorting things out. The blog is not dead, just on a bit of delay.)

Feeling a Lack of Monty Python on Your Bike?

Cat Friend, Dog Friend?

What if your friends were like your pets?



As someone with a cat and a dog, I can vouch for the final bit.

Fox Guest: Fox Acting as "Wing of the Republican Party"

I think we're starting to see some reason seep into the cracks and fissures of the Right that Obama's election has created. Excellent video of the exchange here:

Breaking the Taboo (narrated by Morgan Freeman) Trailer

We're Trucking!

Happy Friday.

Papa John: Poor Baby

So this giant mansion owning Republican douchenozzle is crying about Obamacare. Boo. Hoo. He says Obamacare is going to make bad things happen. How bad? It's going to add $0.14 per pie. (Even though HuffPo has some lesser numbers.)

OMG, Papa John must despise democrats and Obama because the policies of the last four years have been a disaster for his company. I mean, right?

No. Papa John's stock this time in 2008 was bottoming out at $15 due to Bush's policies. After almost four years of Obama presidency that same stock is floating near $50, only recently affected by his own public dickery.

So, Papa John, are you better off four years later? Oh, your lips say "no," but your mansion says "YES."



See?

Obama Talking to his Staff - :')