Back Scratching

This is not a euphemism about something naughty or sexual or ...perhaps it should be?

No, I'm here to tell you to scratch your back. Often.

I've been living for the last few weeks with a marginally incessant itch below my left shoulder blade. Soon after discovering the itch, I remembered I had a back-scratcher - something I never thought I would use, let alone have need for but had been provided by a relative at a Christmas gathering a year or two ago.

And I scratched.

And it felt fucking amazing. I think it was a combination of a basic itch that needed to be scratched, the almost-immediate resolution of something that should have been me back-humping the floor, the actual scratching, and the brilliance that I attributed to myself for making myself more comfortable.

Either way, buy yourself a simple back scratcher. Scratch your own back on occasion. You'll feel better, even if you don't itch. It's the closest you'll ever get to a hug from someone else, sans said someone else: self-contentment.

No, I'm not going through the self-pleasure portal for this post. Staying practical. But stay tuned...