American Teens are Dumb

At least in this school. And my daughter's school. C'mon, if it's not Twilight or Bieber or Ke$ha or Facebook, they're pretty much clueless. I give you Lunch Scholars. I suggest a helmet so you don't get brains everywhere when your head explodes.

Overheard: California Douchery at the Bar

I was in the bar the other day and was sitting near a self-professed filmmaker and producer (I know, in Cincinnati?) who was talking to a woman exuding vapidity. Both their accents were so stereotypically LA and conversation so tragically void of reason I had to take some notes.

Note: I've spent time in LA, have a brother who lives there. And many - MANY - of the people who live there are solid, reasonable, interesting folks. These were not two of those folks.

Also note: these quotes are all from the guy because the gal didn't say much in the presence of Director Diarrhea-Mouth and are not exact, but all real.

Dude looked like Joaquin Phoenix all hairy, though he was better-groomed, wore a vest, and a scarf, and an overly-trying trendy jacket.

• Producers? They make people comfortable.
• You have a yoga physique.
• I love it! (repeat 50 times)
• Yeah, I climbed Mt. Whitney with that guy. [Mt. Whitney is the tallest mountain in the 48 contig at 14.5k feet.]
• OMG the Spider-Cam [Can-Am Spider] is a beautiful machine.
• So I go back in the sauna then the shower and back - when ya go from hot to cold like that your body makes amazing noises. AMAZING!
• Evolutionarily speaking, yoga is the BEST thing for you.
• You know, the Scandinavians invented sauna.
• (Suicide Story) He's like barfing on my hand and I told him to call 911. ...in a weird psych unit - all dark - and they wouldn't let me in, but someone came through the door and I snuck in and I saw [Jim] on a gurney in the hall - alive. And I say "We can fix this." And I'm with a chick, so...

I love it!

Religious Freedom: Princess Bride

One of the more clever bits of meme I've seen passed around Facebook: