As I am not the invincible, indelible Übermensch that some readers may think I am (only on alternating Tuesdays), I thought I'd allow this little peek into my personal world. I have allergies. All of them. No food, no drug, but anything that produces pollen, dust, mold, or the salivary proteins on the dog and cat dander makes the underside of my chin itch, then sneezing, then watering, then misery (39/41 on the allergist scratch test - isn't that an A?).
Last trip to the allergist, I got a prescription that had this line (yes, they print them out now, oh heavenly technology):
I somehow don't think Mrs. Shambles will be pleased by the results of my rescue inhaler.
And then there's this wonderful bit of gas station drugstore merriment:
"What the hell is that?" you ask. Obviously, it's a drinking cup. Please allow me to elucidate:
Yes, it is, in fact, an envelope posing as a water-carrying device. It's "Another Innovative Idea for the 'People on the Go.'"
I don't know what marketing douchebag maintained a paycheck based on the idea of including an envelope with the overpriced allergy pills (alas, it was gas station Sudafed - not the good kind - that delivered to me that paper joy) when anyone with two hands can cup a gulp of water from the gas station sink (eww, I know) to take their meds, and anyone without two hands can't open the damn envelope (let alone the Sudafed packaging), and even if they do, how do they hold the envelope open if they don't have another hand to turn on the faucet?
As someone once said, these are the things I think about when I'm alone in the dark (reference needed).
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