Stupid Shit Republicans Say

Let's focus on two. I keep pretty close with the crazy as it happens from conservatives but this first one really blew my mind.

Tiger Woods, That Naughty Buddhist

Tiger Woods will recover as a golfer. Whether he can recover as a person I think is a very open question, and it's a tragic situation with him. I think he's lost his family. It's not clear to me that -- whether he'll be able to have a relationship with his children.

But the Tiger Woods that emerges once the news value dies out of this scandal -- the extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He's said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith.

So my message to Tiger would be, "Tiger, turn your faith -- turn to the Christian faith, and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."

That was noted asshat Brit Hume on Fox News. I don't care that he spewed his religion all over the air - I think Murdoch walks around with a loaf of blessed bread, breaking off pieces and swabbing up the sputum for lunch - but WTF?

First - He's knocking someone else's religion in relation to his own and his "I don't think" qualifies it as complete ignorance. It's like saying "I've only eaten cabbage all my life and if you want your nutrition I think that kale is wasting your life!"

What a fuck. What is he saying? Let's get together a big list of Christians who have BEEN Christians and screwed over their spouses or abused kids or molested kids. Who the hell are you?

And Buddhism is to blame?

Second - Imagine, for a second, if this was posited by Malcom X, and he said that Tiger's coming to Allah through the Nation of Islam would be a better solution to Buddhism.

Can you even visualize the nasty disaster of religion and hate and race that would ensue - from people at Fox News?

Hypocrisy is an ugly thing, and only uglier when unmasked and laid bare.


Giuliani and um...9/11?

RUDY: "What he should be doing is following the right things that Bush did -- one of the right things he did was treat this as a war on terror. We had no domestic attacks under Bush. We've had one under Obama."

Wait, wasn't there that shoe bomber guy and ...how did Giuliani forget about that part of his soul, 9/11? Didn't that happen during Bush?

What the fuck?

To be fair, Giuliani has since revamped his statement (according to Olbermann's team 4 times), but none of them clearly reach for the primary ignorance and none truly point to the true cause of the original statement: Rudy Giuliani and other Conservatives are now positing revised history as reality. Recent history, that we all remember, that we were all there for - if no in NY - that there are pieces of our memory that are at fault. That Bush was not.

It's a basic psychological ploy, really. Some people look at it and say "So because you say it 500 times, does it make it true?" Yes. It does. The sad truth is that the first time it's heard by many goons, it's true. The subsequent lies only prove to bolster those who've heard #1 and imbue more who haven't. And by the time they get to bullshit #500, everyone who is ignorant enough to eat up any conservative scat they can get their hands on (that other conservatives haven't already devoured)? They eat it like a fat kid eats cake.

We'll never buy the bullshit. But I wanted you to know that there are tens of millions who will. Who already have.


Epilogue

Today I heard Rush Limbaugh say that if you want to look at what Democratic corruption can do to a city to ruin it, take a look at New Orleans.

If I'm not mistaken (and correct me if I am), New Orleans was ruined by Bush-appointed asshats that didn't know how to organize the simplest of disaster scenarios, let alone the worst of imaginings.

More stupid. More drunk by stupid-drinkers. More waste of brain cells. More of burying intellect.

And that is conservatism. For today at least.


UPDATE!

Media Matters Reports:

After an earthquake devastated Haiti on January 12, Pat Robertson said on The 700 Club that Haitians had "swor[n] a pact to the devil" to get "free from the French" and that "ever since, they have been cursed." Robertson's comments follow a pattern in which he has assigned blame for tragedies and disasters, as well predicted them.

Is this because voodoo, which is practiced in Haiti, is an amalgamation of pagan and Catholic beliefs? Guess what? Christianity is an amalgamation of pagan and "new" beliefs!

I believe this post will continue in perpetuity...

Giuliani Pulls Out, Impregnates McCain

Happy Birthday to me, and over 2 weeks early! That's right, Rudy Giuliani, the wooden-toothed professional crooner of 9/11 and all-round smug failure is prepared to pull out of the presidential race this very morning before the last Republican debate before Super Bowl Sunday and Super Tuesday. I think that somehow makes today the Ascension of Mary and places Mardi Gras firmly on the biggest primary day of the year, guaranteeing a slight booze shift to the polls and complete confusion amongst the pundits. Again. But I digress.

What could possibly make this better? Irony, of course! Rudy Giuliani will be making this announcement from the Reagan Library (where the debate will later take place), the living symbol of the dry-hump chew toy darling of the Republican Party, in order to endorse Grandpappy McCain, the only Republican running for president who - according to pundits and the talk radio faction and many Repubs - is not a Reagan Republican. Ooh, snap!

But why McCain? I can't wait for Rudy's blah-blah explanation but would like to take a pass on hearing Chris Matthews spout "Maverick" yet again. John McCain is not Tom Cruise or James Garner or Mel Gibson; it's John McCain, not John McClane, Chrissy. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

McCain's playing the game, and he's playing it well, despite his detractors on flip-flopping, inconsistency, and age. He's got Giuliani's support now and there are hints that he's going to help fluff Huckabee through Super Tuesday to keep the votes away from Romney and cinch up the nomination like his momma's corset. Can we smell a McCain Huckabee ticket? Someone light some incense; I think I'm gonna be sick.

A Noun, a Verb, and September 11th

As we prep this afternoon and evening for the Democratic debate, here's a reminder of what, exactly, we're up against.



No clips were repeated in the making of this film.

Hillary Releases Ad, Rudy Twitches

Check it:



Rudy Giuliani is shaking in his 9/11 dust-stained loafers. He's pissed. Why? Because there is a picture of Hillary Clinton wearing a dust mask apparently in New York City at some point soon after 9/11. The ad is uncalled for; as everyone knows, Rudy Giuliani has already obtained copyright on the phrase "9/11" in number or number word format. This obviously precludes anyone from mentioning 9/11, talking about the attack on September 11th, or even suggesting that they were there; for all intents and purposes, Rudy Giuliani was the only human being in the state of New York on September 11th, 2001, the only person offended by the destruction, and the only human being to suffer because of the attacks (I am actually in violation just trying to explain the rights involved). Patent pending on "pain and suffering."

Unfortunately, six years later, Giuliani has failed to remotely give a shit about any of the brave Americans who were selfless enough to run to the scene to help recover and clean up; many of these people have developed chronic breathing and other health disorders because of the mishandling of the health threat by Giuliani and his administration.

I'd like to be clear that only Dennis Kucinich's plan for health care in America - universal not-for-profit - is the only version I fully support. However, even Hillary's health care plan would do a better job than any of the industry-owned republican candidates "eh, we just gotta tweak it a little."

I heard some hubbub on Friday, but I do believe it will turn into the full-frontal right wing JizzFest by Monday.

Hey, did'j'y'all hear about Giuliani not being fit for Holy Communion because of his beliefs on abortion rights? Technically, the multiple divorce thing would also disqualify him with those wacky Roman Catholics.

Giuliani Choses Money Over Honor

On September 27th, PBS held a debate at the historically Black Morgan State University in Baltimore. Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney and Fred Thompson decided to wave it off, apparently because the Republican record in regards to the African American community is so damned shiny that it can withstand not only lack of concern, but four slices of snub. Seriously. This is an upswing with minority voters; the Univision GOP debate was canceled due to lack of candidate interest.

And hacks like Hannity attack Democrats for not doing enough to earn the minority vote. Showing up would be a start.

Then there is the sting of the reality of what exactly a "schedule conflict" means. Here's dirty Giuliani's version:



[Alternate YouTube Link]

MoveOn, Petreaus, Giuliani, MoveOn

General Petraeus fed his Bushalicious schlong to congress two weeks ago. I wrote my dear Senator Sherrod Brown. The Republicans and FOX News?

They apparently like to swallow:



[Alternative YouTube Link]

Blarg, blarg. Old news, Ricky.

Yes, it is. I was on vacation. So is this: MoveOn.org posted the General Petraeus or General Betray Us? ad in the New York times. Giuliani cries: Hillary's questioning a General's patriotism, hates the troops, and eats vegemite! The Senate ignores the content of the Petraeus ad (which is all, of course, valid) and passes some sanctimonious piece of shit saying "for shame" indirectly to MoveOn.org instead of doing something about the Cheney-Bush-Petraeus daisy chain for Satan puppet show going on (tell the Senate to go pound salt).

And deliciously, MoveOn has held its own ground, received emails from troops saying "You're our voice!" and delivered a double-fisted half-Cheney to Giuliani in the form of this ad:



[Alternative YouTube Link]

Giuliani is wrong, and a shell of a human for using this towards his bid for president. The Senate is wrong for tossing this sanctimonious bullshit over the fence when they have more important, real issues to deal with before they take off for their last one-week paid vacation before their final six weeks of vacation. MoveOn.org is right, along with anyone else with a memory of more than two weeks who heard Petraeus speak and thought "Gee, that sounds suspiciously - almost word for word - like the endless, untrue logorrhea loop that's been coming from the White House since the war began."