NASA, the Right, 9/11, and Lies

Today, Mark Steyn in for Limbaugh revisited one of the biggest, hypocritical tropes available in the conservative grab bag: NASA.

"You see," they say, "NASA was a bastion of American exceptionalism, a sign of America the Winner, and now it's done so it's Obama's fault. Obama hates America."

This is a Lies & Stupid sammich.

• NASA was and continues to be government-funded.
• The race to the moon was founded on a pissing contest with godless USSR.
• Hundreds of billions of dollars of tax money spent by the government got us to the moon.
• NASA was defunded by BushII.
• NASA was defunded by BushII because private enterprise is supposedly a good thing.

So welcome to brain rape. Spending billions on anything? Bad. Unless it's to prove our machismo against non-Christians (see: illegal wars). Defunding a government program to let free enterprise move in? Good! Until the defunding command rolls over to a Democratic presidential term where we can blame that president for not believing in America.

And then Steyn rolled it over into 9/11 - You know what we did in the 60's? We said "We're going to the moon" and we fucking did, yo (despite the absurd espense). "Can you see us going to the moon now?" (No. Remember? Government spending = BAD.) So on 9/11, we should've jumped on that hole and built up that skyline so fast it made Al Queda's heads spin! Yeah! Except "We" as in "America" don't control that. That's private enterprise confronted with political infighting, egos, etc.

So here's what you've actually proved in your diarrhea-mouth diatribe: If the government is solidly focused enough and dumps enough tax dollars into something, we can do something amazing like get to the moon. Maybe develop and build an entire interstate highway system. If we leave it to private enterprise, we get a hole in the middle of New York City that's getting filled WAY slower than American Exceptionalism declares it should be filled.

Folks on the AM dial are mad in their rhetoric, and the goons listening for the most part are slurping it up with a straw, ignoring inconsistencies, and becoming dumber by the minute.

Good for us, I guess. Except they're more ignorant and own more guns.

TSA's Nuthuggin': 15 Things NOT to Say at Security

Is it weird that I'm making a juvenile joke because the man's name is Balzac but visually he looks a little like Ron Jeremy? I believe there's a form of irony there somewhere...

There's a growing fervor over the TSA photographing and groping and leaking body scan photos. I'm lucky I don't have to fly soon - I'd probably mouth off and get held just long enough to miss my flight. So here's my top 15 things I'm not going to say but would like to if I were flying and got searched and didn't mind losing my flight:

1. I guess I never realized TSA stood for Testicle Stroking Authority. Maybe they should rethink that - you kinda suck at it.
2. I'll show you my penis for a dollar.
3. I'd love a cigarette but then I'd have to go outside, come back in, and go through that again. Okay, I'm going to have a cigarette. Save my seat.
4. Where's my rape whistle?
5. FYI, I dress to the left.
6. I was led to believe I would receive a Happy Ending?
7. You gonna think about my balls when you fuck your wife?
8. Do you charge extra for a pinky in my bunghole?
9. Thank God I'm drunk during this!
10. This ain't no pansy-party; get on up in there n make sure I ain't no turrurrist!
11. (While grinding) Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh noooooo!
12. How many balls would you say you touch in a day? Do you like 'em? You should call Guinness - there might be an opening for a daily ball-handling record.
13. If you want to put it in me, it's gonna be extra.
14. Do you tend to caress, squeeze, or bob the nuts?
15. You call that a reach-around?

And then, doing that while wearing this tshirt:


That would be an awesome day. Okay, it would probably suck, but hell would that be a story to blog about.

What inappropriate statements would you make? Comments is wide open :)


UPDATE: Blueberry left an obvious omission:

I heard something about some guys (as a protest, or just for fun) planning to opt out of the screening in favor of the manual check, and they will be commando and wearing kilts.

OMG I'm totally doing that.

Obama the Muslim

Maybe I should just make this Human Events week. The stuff they're coming up with is going in the "Classic Batshit & Lies" file forever! Here's a taste of this morning's poo stew:

Let’s see. President Obama says there is nothing more beautiful than the Muslim call to prayer in the evening. He says that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation.

Obama’s father and step-father were Muslims and he spent his childhood living in a Muslim country where his school enrollment records say his religion is Islam. As President of the United States he genuflects to the Muslim King of Saudi Arabia but not the Christian Queen of England. He thumbs his nose at America’s friends and bows to its enemies. In short, Obama quacks like a Muslim, waddles like a Muslim and acts like a Muslim, so is he a Muslim? My mother would say, “Yes! He’s a Muslim through and through.”

Growing up as a Muslim, Obama must have learned that according to the Qur’an it is acceptable to lie, deceive and live by a double standard provided in so doing one advances Islamic goals.

And I believe that's where my head about asploded. I can't even start let alone rant on this one. Very simple: If you already hate all Muslims because of right wing rhetoric, we're simply shoving Obama so deeply into that "other" that you, too, can be confident you hate him because he hates America like a terrorist and not because he's black!

I just don't know how they can get away with what is effectively libel.

Bin Laden Apologizes for 9/11

What would happen if Osama bin Laden was not officially blamed by the FBI for 9/11 and yet his son was apologizing and desirous of brokering peace? Welcome to reality. Davis Fleetwood, wonderful as always:

A Noun, a Verb, and September 11th

As we prep this afternoon and evening for the Democratic debate, here's a reminder of what, exactly, we're up against.



No clips were repeated in the making of this film.

Hillary Releases Ad, Rudy Twitches

Check it:



Rudy Giuliani is shaking in his 9/11 dust-stained loafers. He's pissed. Why? Because there is a picture of Hillary Clinton wearing a dust mask apparently in New York City at some point soon after 9/11. The ad is uncalled for; as everyone knows, Rudy Giuliani has already obtained copyright on the phrase "9/11" in number or number word format. This obviously precludes anyone from mentioning 9/11, talking about the attack on September 11th, or even suggesting that they were there; for all intents and purposes, Rudy Giuliani was the only human being in the state of New York on September 11th, 2001, the only person offended by the destruction, and the only human being to suffer because of the attacks (I am actually in violation just trying to explain the rights involved). Patent pending on "pain and suffering."

Unfortunately, six years later, Giuliani has failed to remotely give a shit about any of the brave Americans who were selfless enough to run to the scene to help recover and clean up; many of these people have developed chronic breathing and other health disorders because of the mishandling of the health threat by Giuliani and his administration.

I'd like to be clear that only Dennis Kucinich's plan for health care in America - universal not-for-profit - is the only version I fully support. However, even Hillary's health care plan would do a better job than any of the industry-owned republican candidates "eh, we just gotta tweak it a little."

I heard some hubbub on Friday, but I do believe it will turn into the full-frontal right wing JizzFest by Monday.

Hey, did'j'y'all hear about Giuliani not being fit for Holy Communion because of his beliefs on abortion rights? Technically, the multiple divorce thing would also disqualify him with those wacky Roman Catholics.

My Father, My Sister, My Uncle, My Heroes

I know, I know. I start building up to that 200th post, I'm soon to be on vacation, and I disappear for 2 days. I don't usually dig deeply into my personal life, but this story deserves to be told.

My Uncle Ken (mother's side), a Viet Nam veteran, has been on dialysis for 8 years due to two failed kidneys. If you've ever had a relative who has had to go through dialysis, it's a sad, slow disintegration of hope and health and quality of life.

About a year and a half ago, my father started talking about and then quickly going through the testing to see if he was the proper match to donate to Ken. He was not, but was able to locate a paired donation program. This is where my father and uncle do not match, but they enter a pool of many other donor/recipient pairs that might fit. If it works out, my father would donate to a stranger and that person's friend/family member donates to my uncle.

After a year and no luck, about 4 months ago, my youngest sister had an inkling, a calling to throw her hat into the ring to see if she would be a match for Ken. They quickly found that she was a perfect match.

Fast forward to Tuesday, September 11th, 2007. My sister went into surgery early in the morning, soon followed by my uncle. A few hours later, my father was wheeled in for his own donation to a an anonymous recipient. After 17 hours in the hospital, all three had been moved through recovery and into their respective rooms. Both donations had gone off without a hitch, and the doctors said that as soon as my sister's kidney was hooked up to my uncle, it quickly turned pink and started producing urine on the operating table. And that's about as good as it gets.

Yesterday my father and sister were up and walking despite the normal post-op pain. Ken will be a little longer to heal, but all indications are pointing to initial success.

It's not just talk. And I couldn't be prouder.

Stock Options and Terror Attacks: Coming this September?

Here's where the conspiracies begin, folks. Or, rather, some of the first information that'll be "we should have known" material should a major terrorist attack occur before September 21, 2007.

According to a Financial News article, someone has dumped a lot of money into what amounts to a market bet that Eurostoxx 50, Europe's top 50 stocks, will crash by 30%. Billions of dollars are at stake for this "investor."

Some further discussion leads us to believe that this is not the only instance of such trading and that whoever this mystery investor is will either be very rich or very SOL come September 21st.

Conspiracy theory? Take it with a grain of salt; remember that I also reported that we were going to start attacking Iran. Damn Russian reports.

Cheney in 1994: WTF?

Watch this:


[Alternative YouTube Link]

Ready...Fight!

Yes, this has been posted to death in many different places. And honestly, I don't have anything new to say about it. I'm angry. I question even more deeply (if that's possible) the moral base of an administration who can clearly state Iraq is a "quagmire" and not worth American lives and then turn around a few years later and - because it serves the fix to suckle the crack-teat of war profiteering - do exactly the opposite, exploding the already-fragile stability of the Middle East, and killing thousands of Americans.

Way beyond the WTF Award to Cheney on this one.

My interview with Dick Cheney would go something like this: "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

PDB Blogswarm: George, Harriet, and a Legacy of Reactance

I love birthdays!



This is part of the PDB blogswarm going on today. For those of you unawares, on August 6, 2001, the president was officially warned, in a Presidential Daily Briefing, that Bin Laden was poised to attack, to bring the fight to America, and that it would "follow the example of the World Trade Center bomber." Seriously. GWB 8/6/01 PDB PDF!

The PDB speaks for itself; that the President of the United States was deaf to the alarm bells is - now near the end of this eight years of black comedy/reality show - no surprise.

As with any anniversary, it is a time of reflection, a time of looking back on an aspect of this failure of a leader. In my estimation, the most poignant aspect of our "Protecting America" Bush administration has been the systematic knee-jerk reaction of the policy-makers: Nothing happens to prevent something dangerous until that thing happens and is deemed dangerous.

September 11th? Stop all air traffic, and be more careful when you start it back up, sometimes including an Air Marshal on the flight. Ooh, and no more box cutters, except sometimes you might be able to find them in the airport store.

Shoe Bomber? Ground flights, eh, maybe not, and from now on everybody takes off their shoes. And absolutely no lighters or matches...okay, you can have matches and we'll even replace a lighter with matches if you're cute...okay, you can have lighters again. But take off those shoes!

Alleged Liquid Bomb Terrorists? Duh, no liquids! No water or juice or K-Y lovin for you. Detain and flagrantly threaten mothers - whatever you have to do. No, the explosively flammable liquid version of butane you find in lighters does not count.

And how would these foolish antics be carried out? By underqualified, underpaid, underappreciated employees, the LMSA: Little Man Syndrome Army. (Note: I know someone who was accepted as an Air Marshal. The words retard and potato gun could easily combined in a single sentence to describe his credentials.)

Summer Terrorist Chatter? There may or may not be any chatter that may or may not be directly or indirectly related to something that does or does not exist. Remain vigilant!

I remember hearing the horrors of Katrina and reliving the viewing of the Discovery Channel special entitled something like: "Holy Shit! What if a 3-4-5 Hurricane Hits New Orleans!?" It emerged from a pool of reports and specials that is slowly fading in my memory, one that contains the potential openings for terrorist attacks: Water supply, public aerosol chemical/bio weapons, nukes in shipping containers, chemical plant weaknesses, nuclear plant weaknesses, power grid, information infrastructure, public transportation, and the fucking Mall of America.

And then what happens? The PDB should be our warning: not a warning of a terrorist attack, but a warning of what our government is capable of and where their priorities lie.

Because one of those old Datelines will one day pop out of that pool of memory into a slot for a reality comparison to a terrorist attack. American flags will fly; patriotism will be questioned; fingers will be pointed; we will invade a country - the plan will already have existed; and should it be bad enough, the impetus will be clear, and we will be goose-stepped straight into honorable marshal law, dutiful suspension of the Bill of Rights and all the juicy bits of Dick Cheney's wettest dreams.

Sometimes I feel like all the people who are supposed to be looking out for our best interests are standing around a rooftop swimming pool at night, all dressed in suits, smoking cigars, and sipping Johnny Walker Black, quietly chuckling to each other with false pretenses. A meteor is falling out of the sky, and we - the bloggers - look back at the crowd, our necks craned, our voiced slightly raised "Um, guys?"

So Happy Birthday, PDB! May the lessons we learned be strong enough to unite us against tyranny and oppression, because the administration learned way different lessons.


Quick shout outs: Blue Gal, source of my info about the PDB blogswarm, Tengrain over at Mock, Paper, Scissors for the lovely image at the head of this diatribe.

Bill Moyers: Buying the War

It's popcorn time! Tonight at 9pm EST, Bill Moyers Journal showcases how the media was complacent in selling the war to us, how, exactly, we bought into it, and how we're still getting sucked in.



Watch!

Not Another Reason for Freedom Fries...

Reuters (through MSNBC) is reporting that the French knew about September 11th. Headline Report: France knew of al-Qaida hijack plot.

Oh, Jesus. We already have plenty of douchebags that hate France because they were actually smart to keep the hell out of our Iraq debacle. And they will inevitably read that headline while choking down their Freedom Fries, hack potato chunks onto their monitor and let lose a fury of ignorant cussin' suitable for someone who lives in a county with one high school and fifteen churches. And they won't read the article.

They won't read how (remember?) hijacking didn't mean "blow up the Twin Towers" in 2000, that reports of possible plans to divert a plane for ransom were ubiquitous. They won't see that France turned over the report to the CIA - and it somehow never made it into any 9/11 commission reports. And they won't link it to any of the other disastrous, awful decisions by the United States that piled upon each other, allowing the window of opportunity and confluence of actions to result in the tragedy it did.

Hot dog, victory cabbage, freedom fries. These are the people that thrive on headlines.

Don't be that guy. Don't be that girl.

American Freedom Agenda: The Press Conference

The press conference on C-SPAN2 just aired. And it blew my mind.

This was not the Bush/Rove/Cheney administration monster, hungry for power, devouring our civil liberties. These were good men with the real thoughts of the founding fathers at the tips of their tongues (not theocracy). They want to restore our civil liberties. And they are conservative.

It just ended, they were talking to the audience about transpartisanship and not blindly following the president.

Here are some notes. Unquoted items are paraphrased.

Bruce Fein
"And those checks and balances and protections have eroded over the past few years."

AFA's 10 Stopping Principles:

• Military Commissions (Judge, jury, executioner)


• Habeas Corpus suspended


• Unlawful Enemy Combatants


• Warrantless Electronic Survaillence


• State Secrets Privlidge (shield admin from accountability)


• Presidential Signing Statements


• Executive privlidge (Katrina, from blame)


• Espianage Act (against the news media)


• Extraordanary renditions, secret prisons


• Inquisisational Identification of Terrorists, no due process

They would like to see every member of congress and all the candidates sign it.

Bruce Fein
"[Administration's policy] Has not been used to increase the safety of the American people at all."

We agree we are not yet a police state, but out founding fathers had much higher expectations for us than just avoiding a police state.

"We are protesting and launching this campaign"

Richard Viguerie
"Restore our constitutional government of checks and balances."

Bruce Fein
"The chief end of the state is to make men and women free...not to aggrandize the state"

David Keene
"We ratchet down our freedoms, and at the end of the conflict, we don't get them all back."
"All of the branches of government have been complicit...at the expense of a system that for over 200 years" has worked to preserve our freedom.

Bob Barr
"We cannot sit by and wait 30 years for court decisions," cannot wait until the end of a four year term to resstore the Bill of Rights.

Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) (Signed it right then and there)
Look what we could avoid if we didn't go to war without a declaration of war, look at what a mess we're in now.

Look at the threat from terrorists and "add the threat from the federal government."

"It's up to the people, it's up to congress, to rein in the executive branch."

American Freedom Agenda official website.

The American Freedom Agenda’s (AFA) mission is twofold: the enactment of a cluster of statutes that would restore the Constitution’s checks and balances as enshrined by the Founding Fathers; and, making the subject a staple of political campaigns and of foremost concern to Members of Congress and to voters and educators. Especially since 9/11, the executive branch has chronically usurped legislative or judicial power, and has repeatedly claimed that the President is the law. The constitutional grievances against the White House are chilling, reminiscent of the kingly abuses that provoked the Declaration of Independence.

Um, I can't argue with that. Actually, I'd argue for it.

The press release came out last Friday. And I can't find many opinions. And that pisses me off. I and many other bloggers piss and moan about our civil liberties. We sign petitions, make phone calls for change, and still watch them dissolve, sifting through our fingers like so much sand. And we criticize the conservatives that show up in guises of extreme evangelical or extreme bigotry, we criticize the blind followers of our president, the fool. And now I see conservatives doing what we say they should be doing, doing the job of the liberals in fact, and no one wants to speak up.

Good for them. Bad for us. But at least we're moving in the right direction.

Here's C-SPAN's site. I'll put up a link to the video when (if) they archive it.

UPDATE: C-SPAN has a link on this page but none of the links on that page are working. WTF?