Tragedy in Orlando: Bars, Blame, and Bullshit

Trump says the Orlando shooter was born in Afghan, and revved up the media with a renewed dedication to keeping out the Muslim immigrants. Bullshit. This was a natural-born American man.


Some people are calling for confiscation of weapons of anyone under investigation by the FBI or on the No Fly list. Bullshit. I'm liberal as hell, but that would be an insane infringement on rights, not to mention easily and often abused. Besides, after several interviews, the FBI cleared Omar Mateen and he was removed from the watch and no fly lists.


[That said, holy shitballs did you see the piece Omar was packing?


Sig Sauer MCX

SIG SAUER developed the MCX rifle for America’s special forces. Their goal: a firearm that’s as quiet as an MP5, as deadly as an AK-47, and more modular than anything ever designed.

So, uh, maybe that weapon shouldn't be commercially available.]


Many, many conservatives are dredging the river again for the "Obama won't say Islamic Terrorism!" And that's bullshit. Obama is passive-aggressive trolling here. ISIS is all "Hey, we're The Islamic State!" and Obama grins and says "nope." He's not afraid to call it what it is, or catering to the PC crowd, he's refusing to give any legitimacy to ISIS by not recognizing what they are doing as Muslim in nature. Somehow, the conservative internet brigade that regularly incorporates mild invective with "The Democrat Party" and "Moslem" doesn't get that.

And speaking of insane bullshit and anti-anything-Obama-says, a Missouri county has refused to fly their flags at half mast. Grumble grumble Obama sucks. Hey, let's pull out the Flag Code and be dicks about a tragedy because Obama and gays.


This was a horrible tragedy, but the emerging story appears to be that American-born Omar Mateen was a very conflicted individual. He was Muslim with a hard homosexual lean. And he hated it, hated it in himself, and in that conflict found vindication for his hate in some radical online materials. He gave a shout-out to ISIS through 911, as a cry for help or attention or both. Of course, ISIS saw the carnage and was like "Ooh, yeah, that's all us, man! We totally had a part in that!"

This is not about immigrants because Omar was born here. This is not about Islam because religion was a bystander to rage. This isn't about terrorism because it was not an act planned to create fear for an agenda. And this isn't about guns or laws because there is literally no rational policy or legislation that could have been in place that would have stopped this from happening.

If anything, this is about the stigma and taboo our society still places on homosexuality. Despite a victory for same sex marriage, our society as a whole is still sopping with hate and fear and ignorance when it comes to the LGBT community. Perhaps if Omar felt comfortable in the world around him, felt at home with what was inside, a calm would have taken root instead of his ultimate decision. And that's the fault of his religion - most religions - and lingering ignorance and, in some way, every single one of us.

Be peaceful.

Air Asia Allahuakhbar: Made-Up Right Wing Nuttery

Today I was listening to Hannity's shenanigans and out of nowhere he says that they recovered and listened to the black box of the crashed AirAsia plane: the last words heard were a chilling "Allahuakhbar." When Jamie Dupree called him out and said that was probably made up, he shied away from the story, saying he's just reporting what he heard.

[I would generally use "Allahuakhbar" in two words, but am reiterating the nutter website usage on purpose.]

First problem: The whole story is completely made up. I ran into it again tonight after bumping against it on a site called Downtrend (link withheld for the sanity), a website rife with right wing conspiracy nuttery. Madness. Their link of the story goes back to Yahoo News, but the Yahoo News post has been scrubbed of the content. But it does cite a title and source of New Straits Times out of Malaysia. Only problem: there is no story about the black box contents there.

Second problem: "Allahuakhbar" is not a dedicated cry of war. It means "God is Great" and is used in many situations. If the pilots were Muslim and they were about to hit the water, "Allahuakhbar" would be something they might shout, as someone might shout "Jesus help me!" or "God be with me!"

I just wanted to get that out as it'll probably be circulating among the nuttery of the internets - and it's a big giant load of bullshit.

Obama Hates Jesus and Wants to End Homeschooling!

If you want the whole misleading story, feel free to visit this story, but my synopsis is probably more entertaining.

So there's this German family and they're super-duper-über-Christian and because those public schools in Germany are Christ-free zones (and teach "witchcraft and graphic sex education" - seriously, that's a quote from the article), they want to maintain full control of everything their kids see, hear, and learn. Shhh...back to your cocoon.

But Germany's all "Nein!" - which is something Hitler probably said at one point - and will be persecuted because they're Christians. What? Oh, sorry. I meant they would be prosecuted because home schooling is not recognized as a reason to keep your kids out of school. In Germany, they call that truancy. Here: freedom!, there: totally freaking illegal. Seriously, like jail, fines, and even losing your kids.

So Quotable!

“There were stories where [school children] were encouraged to ask the devil for help instead of God and actually the devil would help (in the story),” Uwe said.

“When we found out what’s in the textbooks, it’s exactly the opposite from what the Bible tells us and teaches us, and we wanted to protect [our children],” his wife Hannelore added.

So they get over here to the good ol' USA because Oh, the humanity! and a federal judge who was apparently drunk at the time looked at their request for asylum and said "Oh yeah, totally. Jeebus! 'Murica!!" That was five years ago.

Well, someone in Obama's administration decided to review some of those items and was like "WTF?" and now the case is under review. Why? Because if a family wants to home school in a foreign country and can't, just because we do it here does NOT mean they are under persecution because they can't. They live in a different country, they are not in harm's way at home, and you can't come to America and claim asylum because you don't live in America! They need to return, suck it up, review their hyperbolic bullshit, and be proper guides and parents when they're not at school.

What does that mean to right-wing Christians? Christianity is under attack! What does that mean to home-schooling parents in America? Well, nothing until the right-wing Christians declared "Imagine: Homeschooling is under attack! And ignore that 'imagine' bit!"

Oh, and don't forget that this happened not because a ruling was under review but because EVERYONE knew this was happening and was totally totally down with the happening and cool with letting the Germans hang in the US here - but then Evil Obama got wind of Unnecessary Freedom and knew it was his duty to crush both religious freedom and home schooling with a single swift blow with his giant Muslim hammer, Mjöl-jihad!

Which makes me wonder, with the answer clear in my head: What story would be hearing if this German family were Muslim? Well, we would've known five years ago, because as soon as Obama took office, Glenn Beck's goons would've picked up on it and declared "Obama Illegally Giving Sanctuary to Muslim Culture and Radical Thought!"

All I have to say to all the propaganda and bullshit machines on the right:

OMFG, S.C., TEA? ROFL

"The fish is Glenn Beck."



That is all.

(h/t C&L)

In Short: Republican Humor & Muslims

Rut-rho! Human Events has launched its 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy (from book by James Delingpole). Awww, based on how humor and conservatives have mixed in the past (oil and water), this is gonna be good.

#5:
Pop 'round to your nearest extremist mosque with a bottle of Pepsi. Say to the Imam:

"Look I know you guys say you love death more than you love this stuff. But have a sip—you might just change your mind."

Hahaha. Wait. WTF? What does that even mean?

But they did get one thing right: Blatant examples of ignorance and intolerance drive me crazy.

I guess I'll be getting one of these every day. I'll pass on any others of note.


UPDATE: Huge thanks to On Smash in comments for giving us a nice reference simultaneously explaining #5 and proving how fact-deficient conservatives are.

Pro-Life Protest Particularly Apropos

Awwwshitt. You know what's gonna happen tomorrow? This is! W00t!

Tens of thousands of pro-life students in high schools, middle schools and colleges and universities across the country will take a vow of silence tomorrow. They will refuse to speak to their friends and teachers because they are representing the voices of millions of unborn children killed in abortions.

Hell, I'd go just for the free red tape.

No, hold on a minute. There's something serious happening here, happening tomorrow, happening all across the country, and it is making a somewhat redundant but wholly unified and powerful statement: Religious conservatives do not, nor will they ever truly understand the very basics of symbolism.

Allow me to explain to the dim: You're putting a piece of red tape over your mouth, preventing you from speaking, and writing LIFE on it. You're already into the realm of sex and babies so let's take that red and us it as an allusion of sin and shame like lovely Hester Pryne. And then let's seal it with LIFE.

You kinda look like you're on the other side.

A woman walking around with red tape labeled LIFE over her mouth in a protest situation says to me: The outside-imposed sin, the religion-into-policy, the government-up-in-your lady parts is trying to alter the laws in this country, and is charging towards a religion-based, a Sharia law all of it's fucking own, where a woman has NO say over her own body and must have that child despite choice, despite rape, despite incest. Her voice is no more.

And you'd better keep an ear out on birth control because the nutters pushing this bullshit don't wantcha fucking with a condom either because their image of a perfect world is every family in the US of Jesus as devout Christians breedin' like the Duggars until we burst our seams to all of North America of the Bible and ship the QEIII over full of damn kids to march on the Holy Land and kick them Palestinians out like worked with that Childrens' Crusade! Oh, wait...

Anyway, one more notch in the "Conservatives don't understand" belt: Humor, Technology, and ~*NEW*~ Symbolism.

Hannity-Limbaugh Muslim Gangbang

No, it's actually uglier than it sounds. Aside from Rush's lying comment about Bush living in "a shack" in Crawford, TX, every second I heard of his show today was discussing the poll saying almost 20% of Americans think Obama is a Muslim.

And the discussion proceeded as you might think: "Here's the poll." "Why do people think this?" "Let's take some callers who will say they knew it all along." "Allow me to interject some comments with Muslim undertones targeted at Obama."

[You freak, you fraud, you moral disaster of a human being: It is because of YOU and the other asshats on right wing talk radio and FOX that people ignorant enough to eat your daily digest like eager baby seagulls aching to shit all over the truth believe this madness. Our president is a practicing Christian yet almost 20% (much higher for Repubtards) of Americans are ignorant - NO, not ignorant, but suckered, believing the implication and lie of the simple fact of his (and his family's) religion is NOT Muslim. And they'll happily do it because everyone they listen to with their wide eyes and loaded guns believes it because YOU spout it and because he's the "other" and they don't want to hate him because he's black (even though they really kinda do) and YOU drive that fucking bus! You! And you're on the air talking about it like you're not part of it, not the goddamned REASON for the numbers?

There's a special place in hell for you.]

Now, repeat everything in brackets but as addressing Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, Michael Savage, etc. each, individually.

End transmission.


UPDATE: I'm not sure how this Examiner hack Byron York gets the label "Chief Political Correspondent," but he says it's all Obama's fault. After all, he's often "heading out to play golf or basketball on Sunday mornings."

So if you're not in church every single Sunday morning it's not that you're just skipping out on church, it's not that you're not as devout a Christian as people think you should be, it's not that you're secretly Jewish or a Hindu or Buddhist. No, it obviously means all the lies and misinformation about you secretly being a Muslim are true.

Byron, you're part of the problem, either purposefully or because of a lack of basic intelligence.

Mosque in Short: Constitution!

The Framers or Founding Fathers found it completely appropriate to guarantee all Americans the right to freedom of religion. There was no asterisk.

Hell, freedom of religion predates even the Constitution. Amendment 1, however, reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And that Amendment, like many others, is there for a very specific reason: to guarantee the rights of the minority in light of a majority who disagrees with that right. Hell, the Village of Skokie, IL (60% Jewish) got punked on their sensibilities because it was dwarfed by the Nazis to march in their town - so said the Supreme Court.

The survivors and those who lost loved ones are split. New York is split. But it is simply an issue of Constitutional law. And when it comes to Constitutional law, the Right is all about interpreting things in a new and creative way with supporting documents that are not the Constitution. But when it comes to the direct wording of the Constitution itself, they're at a loss.

This is a straw man, a "patriotic" pissing contest in the lead to an election. Mosques already exist 4 and 12 blocks from "sacred ground" - strip clubs and bookies and sex shops abound in that area as well.

And as Justin Mustian put it, "In fairness, we've been building 'ground zeros' near Iraqi mosques since March 2003."

I think this is a band of rabid conservatives, grasping onto whatever they can because they have no platform or ideas of their own. Their mantra since Obama was elected has been "Obama, you been bad!" (Goonies reference) And they've had nothing else to work with because they've spent every last breath on killing progress as opposed to creating it, killing legislation (that would be good for them and their constituents!) as opposed to proposing other ideas, and just drinking more and more Kool-Aid from the Right end of the AM band with the sole purpose of pissing on a black man from atop their mansions.

I'll deal with the "other"-ing of Obama in a different post. But be aware: The right has successfully positioned our president as a Muslim terrorist, and millions of Americans religiously feed on that tripe. And they have guns.

God bless America.

In Short: Pam Geller is a Fucking Moron

From Crooks & Liars:

Geller: This is patently untrue. I love Muslims. The Ground Zero mosque is an offensive insult, it's a stab in the eye. I have no problem with mosques across the city. But we're talking about history, and Islamic history, of building triumphal mosques on the cherished sites of conquered lands.

Oh, the fucking mosque again?

Hey, wait, that reminds me of this one thing...you know what I'm talking about? The Christians overtaking every pagan altar in Europe to co-mingle beliefs and eventually convert or silently conquer them? Oh, yeah, and that other time...what was it? Oh, yeah, when Christians came here to find the USA totally uninhabited (except for them injuns) and drove those dark-skinned people out to manifest destiny and get some awesome land - on which they erected churches as a staple of any civilized settlement.

Oh, and it reminds me of that awesome new shirt from T-Shirt Hell that says "Learn to Speak Native American or Get the Fuck Out"

Pam, you are not just ignorant, you are stupid. And as a wise childrens' show host said one time when I was drunk in Toledo at 6am: "Ignorance is just not knowing. That's easy to fix. But stupid? There's no fixin' stupid."

So please stop talking and allow the collective of human intelligence heal for a while.

Obama the Muslim

Maybe I should just make this Human Events week. The stuff they're coming up with is going in the "Classic Batshit & Lies" file forever! Here's a taste of this morning's poo stew:

Let’s see. President Obama says there is nothing more beautiful than the Muslim call to prayer in the evening. He says that the United States was not founded as a Christian nation.

Obama’s father and step-father were Muslims and he spent his childhood living in a Muslim country where his school enrollment records say his religion is Islam. As President of the United States he genuflects to the Muslim King of Saudi Arabia but not the Christian Queen of England. He thumbs his nose at America’s friends and bows to its enemies. In short, Obama quacks like a Muslim, waddles like a Muslim and acts like a Muslim, so is he a Muslim? My mother would say, “Yes! He’s a Muslim through and through.”

Growing up as a Muslim, Obama must have learned that according to the Qur’an it is acceptable to lie, deceive and live by a double standard provided in so doing one advances Islamic goals.

And I believe that's where my head about asploded. I can't even start let alone rant on this one. Very simple: If you already hate all Muslims because of right wing rhetoric, we're simply shoving Obama so deeply into that "other" that you, too, can be confident you hate him because he hates America like a terrorist and not because he's black!

I just don't know how they can get away with what is effectively libel.

Popehat! Turning Wording into Whine

Last week, many people - including myself - were up in arms about the Comedy Central bullshit where they censored not only the "image" of Mohammed, but in part 2 (episode 201), bleeped every time the name Mohammed was used bleeped over the entire final speech. (Even though Season 5's "Super Best Friends" can still be found with a normally-illustrated Mohammed and no fanfare whatsoever - but that was before 9/11 when the terrorists apparently did win 'cause dey scurred us.)



And everybody, especially the Christians, were outraged at the double standard imposed in the world of religion.



One guy I heard on one of my right-wing AM masochism sessions actually said "Islam is the only religion you can't make fun of."

Yeah, so fuck that, right? Everyone else has a great sense of humor, let's it roll off their back like piss on a duck, right?



Not so fast there, Catholics. A fake memo, circulated by a 23-year old satirist - admittedly as a joke - is getting a lot of attention this week. What was in it?

The memorandum, apparently written by staff planning events for the four-day visit by Pope Benedict XVI, suggested he might like to start a helpline for abused children, sack "dodgy" bishops, open an abortion ward, launch his own brand of condoms, preside at a civil partnership, perform forward rolls with children, apologise for the Spanish armada and sing a song with the Queen.

And the Pope flipped the fuck out in usual sanctimonious bullshit mode. The tempest in a teacup was jumped on by all the Catholic myrmidons in the western world and called anything from "despicable" to "a foolish document." The Pope's visit to the UK is in jeopardy and the Vatican wants to know why no one's been sacked yet.



Oh, for fuck's sake! I agree that death threats over depictions of Mohammed, innocuous or not, are total bullshit. But you, you hypocritical Catholics, glom on to that bullhorn in one breath and in the very next are calling for the hounds of hell to pluck this satire-driven man from the face of the earth for comments that oscillate between mildly humorous and trite!

So the WTF Award goes to the Pope. Again. Though this whole thing could've been a bit of a ruse to kill the UK trip all together. Everyone knows Richard Dawkins is going to arrest the Pope as soon as he sets foot in the UK. You know, that whole religion-wide molestation coverup thing?


And one last note on the Mohammed South Park debacle. It's prompted at least one cartoonist to declare May 20th, 2010 "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" in defense of Matt Stone and Trey Parker.



However, following the mad viral reaction of the internets over her cartoon, has disassociated herself with the movement and the cartoon, and many links can be found in this story from Facebook groups to where to submit your drawing for May 20.

I'll be posting my own graven image and encourage you to do the same. Maybe one of Jesus too. And the Pope. And Krishna. And Buddha. Then it's fair ;)

Douchebag Humor: The Surefire Muslim Killer

I tire quickly from people - even friends - who barrage my inbox with "this is humor" and "interesting facts" that were debunked by Snopes back in '95.

Especially shit like this:

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY!

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife, and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.

I have a wonderful sense of humor. This does not fall into that sphere.

Muhammad vs. Jesus - Fight!

Kottie Paloma’s "Jesus vs Mohamed"

You sign up for one lousy free PDF about how the Wingnuts hate Obama and end up with every nutjob, anti-science, "ain't Christian ain't right" email partner spam in the world.

Today's anger ball is a book layin' out plain that not only are radical Muslims in the wrong, but the whole frickin' religion is whacked and based on hate and violence. And since I've never met a Conservative who has read the whole Quaran (let alone the whole Bible), I guess it'll stick. But the headline quote stayed with me:

"I have been made victorious through terror."
-- Muhammad, founder of Islam

Why did this stick with me? Because through the terror of the fear of hell, by the terror of the fear for people's own souls, by the terror of torture or being ostracized or being set on fire, Christianity has also been "made victorious."

As soon as we stop demonizing entire swaths of inhabitants of our planet Earth based on their belief system, the sooner we might come to accept that we're not that much different - on a very human level - than other people, despite the color of their skin or who they believe God's Messenger was.

Michael Savage: When Hate Crosses the Line

(I know, when is MS not crossing a line.)

I've hit up Michael Savage a couple times in the last month, specifically for the well-documented rage against Muslims and more recently a rant against Heath Ledger. I have also received appropriate feedback pertaining to my posts - to a certain extent.

When Michael Savage spit his acid at Muslims and, specifically, CAIR, that's all happy hating opinion, and fine in America, even if contemptuously hideous. The same goes for his frequent rants about how homosexuals are ruining America and San Francisco in particular: it's ugly speech, but protected speech; turn it off or blog about it or yell at your neighbors about it if you don't like it.

However, when he says that Heath Ledger intentionally killed himself "with needles" because he couldn't handle how his portrayal of homosexuality ruined the image of "great America itself," that is slander. Slander is "a false and defamatory oral statement about a person," and the statement about Heath Ledger fits right in there. And that is not protected speech.

So this past Tuesday, Savage was harfing our more verbal filth, this time against the educational establishment, and said "most sociologists are child molesters." So where does that fit on the protected speech-o-meter? He's not really talking about specific person, but he's clearly attributing a social deviancy to a specific group of people delineated by vocation. What are your thoughts?

And since it's Valentine's Day, I thought this appropriate:



So how's that fit in to our discussion?

Religious Hatred for Islam from Muslims

Last week, British teacher Gillian Gibbons was convicted of religious hatred for letting her Sudanese class name a bear "Mohammed." Last I heard, while Mohammed is a popular name for males in Sudan, it's not to be used for an animal. Or, apparently, a stuffed animal.



In a related story that I just made up, the Sudanese people were also convicted of religious hatred because mobs of people, some wielding large knives and other weapons, calling for the execution of a Brit, make the rest of the reasonable world hate Islam.

As a liberal, I am more than willing to give religions the benefit of the doubt in the depth and breadth of the belief of their followers. Unfortunately, when a mob forms about giving the name of a prophet to a stuffed bear, and they want to kill not the namer but the off-nationality teacher who let it happen, I have to say to Sudanese mob: Hey, you! Get your shit together! You are making Islam look very, very bad and irrational to a world that is already open to that interpretation!

And I don't even like exclamation points.

The Sudanese government needs to either rein in this catastrophe or give the hidden Gillian time served for surviving hiding out and let her go home.

No, I don't like whackjobs of any flavor.

UPDATE: Either the folks in Sudan read my blog or I write unquestionable reason and common sense that needs not be read to be understood: British teacher pardoned. Or, as is true in most of the world, a bundle of whackjobs does not the masses make, much like a Bill Donahue and a Pat Robertson, while inflammatory and offensive and even representative, do not stand for the compassion that many of their followers hold dear.