The Right Wing Ferguson Misinformation Campaign

Today I had to lay down a little internet sleuthing after seeing the above image posted with the following caption:

This is Ferguson police officer BEFORE he shot Mike Brown. Please pass this around over and over. Think Sharpton and MSNBC will show this? That means TPC will have to...start passing folks.

Well, damn, I knew the orbital blowout fracture was questionable (the sole source being right wing rag Gateway Pundit), but this had to be some solid proof, right? I mean, who would just go on the internet and spread lies?



My first problem was that this guy in the picture doesn't look anything like Officer Darren Wilson, unless he stopped for a Hair Club and dye job beforehand - and had his ears pinned back. So a little more digging and a reverse image search and I come up with this article from 2006.

That picture up top isn't Darren Wilson. He's not even a police officer. His real identity is American motorcyclist Jim McNeil who face-planted during a trick in 2006. So I clicked back through and found the photo and caption on my wall had been shared by a Tom Sullivan III ...and 67,000 other people.

So, fair readers, should you come across some of the thousands of shares of this disingenuous photo, here's your ammo. There is enough crap being spread about Ferguson shooting of Michael Brown. We don't need more.

Conservative Crazy #96: Kill the President?

You may recall I've been monitoring my right-wing email (Human Events) subscriptions for 365 Ways to Make a Liberal Crazy.

Today, I must report, ...shit man. I hate the "Really?" common phraseology, but - Really?

96: Say a Prayer
Dear Lord, you took my favorite actor Patrick Swayze. You took my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett. You took my favorite singer Michael Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that my favorite president is Barack Obama. Amen.

Let's joke about the President's death and pair it with a Christian prayer. Awesome. As always, the lack of understanding of humor and the batshit crazy flourishes on the right.

Driving Libs Crazy #64: USA Nomba-Won Tough Guy

[UPDATE: Badger reminded me about the Crazy on Facebook. Thanks!]

Been following the 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy (click that "crazy drive" tag at the bottom to see the goodies) and mostly it's been foolishness. Okay, it's ALL been foolishness. I just grab and showcase the ones that lay out teh stupids inherent in the Conservative Condition™.

Give them another reason why Obama has GOT to go.

He doesn't think America's anything special. No really, he doesn't. Quote: "I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism." In other words: everybody's special. Tell your friend that, with his Barney the Dinosaur egalitarian worldview of everybody being special, Obama ought to be a kindergarten teacher, leading the kids in non-competitive, non-judgmental songs, not the leader of the free world.

This is a prime example of laying bare the cognitive and logical deficiency that is Conservatism: blind, faith-like fanaticism.

The Quote

I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect the Brits believe in British exceptionalism and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism.

Wait, you don't believe that something's the best just because you're part of it? You don't believe USA is the best because by fate or chance or God you are President of our fair land? *applause*

The Argument

What the conservative argument is is we believe in our own exceptionalism and that's valid (Woohoo! #1!), but every other country's own feeling of national pride and exceptionalism is really just joke-shop fake shit because our exceptionalism is the TRUE exceptionalism. WTF?

If I'm not mistaken, the Barney the Dinosaur worldview has a few backers, like God, Jesus, Buddha. You know, those radical liberal goons.

More Makin' Crazy: #43 & #44

Click the label that says "crazy drive" at the bottom to follow the worst of the conservative assbaggery that is "365 ways to drive a liberal crazy."

#43
Tell a joke:

Q: Why do liberals like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.

So, um, ...what? Is the horribly flawed logic that all liberals are dumb men? What about liberal women? Are they all dumb ...and lesbians? And by this logic, are all conservatives smart men? And all conservative women inherently dumb? I guess that would make sense. But that would only be if this car-fart of an attempt at humor (and/or logic) made any sense to any human with a brain.

#44
Pick a fight with a liberal on: CAPITALISM.
Agree with Wall Street's Gordon Gekko that "greed" for want of a better word "is good." Explain wearily but patiently to a liberal that firms can only gain revenue by selling things that people want; and only make a profit if they sell these things for more than they cost to produce. In the process they give employment to people who prefer that job to any other they can find. Therefore, profit-making firms create wealth for their customers, owners, and employees. They take wealth from no one. So why, pray, do liberals have such a problem with capitalism?

And when that "employment" happens 3000 miles away? Ah, sorry, SOL. And when that employer eats the tax break and buries existing employees in extra work to pocket the cash which is what is happening in every corporate business in America and only government workers and independently wealthy folks and radio personalities are exempt and therefore speaking out about the bliss of work in America? Oh, sorry. You're both mentally challenged and brainwashed, being a conservative. Must've been those public schools you want to further defund.

(Seriously, I could get used to this.)

Liberal Crazy #35 - Hitler? Why Not!

You can see some of the other asshattery from the 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy by clicking on the "crazy drive" label under the post. Not many noteworthy ...until today.

Deploy the Reductio ad Hitleram

"Hey, you're a vegetarian! Has anyone ever told you Hitler was too?" (They will have heard this. All too frequently.) The veggie will probably respond by telling you that this is an urban myth and that Hitler did occasionally eat meat. In fact, the urban myth is literal fact, as we know from Hitler's Table Talk. Not only did Hitler think that vegetarianism was doing the "right thing" by the animal kingdom (Hitler was a leader in "animal rights"), but he was certain that the future belonged to vegetarians. The real urban myth is the veggie's fanatically spread tale about how Hitler really wasn't a committed veggie.

I don't even know where to start. Unnecessary contempt for healthy eating? Oh, maybe the Hitler thing. Conservatives are pissing themselves over the fact that they never make a Hitler or Nazi comparison in the face of endless video and audio clips being thrown in their faces. Perfect time to pull out a Hitler reference!

Now let's get stupid. Let's take an irrational hatred towards "dirty hippie" vegetarianism and make the assumption that your target vegetarian is a liberal. Now take that dietary health choice and equate it to the mass murder of millions of innocent people. Awesome.

By taking this position - and you know some mindless goons will - conservatives will do one thing and one thing only: confirm that they are hypocritical monsters incapable of the very basics of logical thinking.

But hey, they got in a jab at that dirty veggie, didn't they? w00t! Hitla represent!

Driving Libs Crazy #18

Here's the goons #18:

Start a rumor:
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner is the only person known to have had extensive plastic surgery to make himself look uglier. Sick to death of being admired for his beauty and not his economic brains, Tim "Baywatch" Geithner (as he used to be known) paid over $259,000 to have his face surgically re-constructed to resemble that of the sniggering cartoon character Beavis (from Beavis and Butthead). This lends a poignant twist to his nomination last year as one of People magazine's top 50 beautiful people. Originally, this was ascribed to the fact that Geithner's brother is a vice president at People. In fact, however, it was a tribute by those who remembered just how crazily handsome Geithner used to be. Geithner, however, has no regrets. "The way women used me—it was disgusting. I was nothing more than a piece of meat to them."

Hahaha! Because someone's appearance is way more funny than ...actually ...fighting ideas. :(

Haven't some on the right eviscerated us on the left for physical character analysis? Even though Rush talked about Tip like Jabba the Hutt in '84?

So next time someone on the right accuses you of an ad hominem attack, please throw this in their faces.

Makin' Libs Crazy #16

You may have read my last post on 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy. Well, I've had little to report because most of them are stupid as you can imagine. But today's a slow day and they're at #16 already:

On his birthday (January 17), quote Benjamin Franklin: "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Tell your liberal friends Franklin was referring to government-controlled health care.

Hahaha, those - wait, what?
Two points here:

1. The quote can't even be bent around or shoehorned into healthcare with a crowbar. There is no essential liberty being lost, nor temporary safety gained.
2. Us crazy liberals have been using this quote since just after 9/11 when Prez Bush used fear and terror to push through the Patriot Act which took a chunk out of our civil liberties with the promise that it was necessary to beat the terrorists.

This, once again, expresses how selectively ignorant of history the conservatives in America are, and how they proudly shout it from the rooftops.

In Short: Republican Humor & Muslims

Rut-rho! Human Events has launched its 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy (from book by James Delingpole). Awww, based on how humor and conservatives have mixed in the past (oil and water), this is gonna be good.

#5:
Pop 'round to your nearest extremist mosque with a bottle of Pepsi. Say to the Imam:

"Look I know you guys say you love death more than you love this stuff. But have a sip—you might just change your mind."

Hahaha. Wait. WTF? What does that even mean?

But they did get one thing right: Blatant examples of ignorance and intolerance drive me crazy.

I guess I'll be getting one of these every day. I'll pass on any others of note.


UPDATE: Huge thanks to On Smash in comments for giving us a nice reference simultaneously explaining #5 and proving how fact-deficient conservatives are.