The Right Wing Ferguson Misinformation Campaign

Today I had to lay down a little internet sleuthing after seeing the above image posted with the following caption:

This is Ferguson police officer BEFORE he shot Mike Brown. Please pass this around over and over. Think Sharpton and MSNBC will show this? That means TPC will have to...start passing folks.

Well, damn, I knew the orbital blowout fracture was questionable (the sole source being right wing rag Gateway Pundit), but this had to be some solid proof, right? I mean, who would just go on the internet and spread lies?



My first problem was that this guy in the picture doesn't look anything like Officer Darren Wilson, unless he stopped for a Hair Club and dye job beforehand - and had his ears pinned back. So a little more digging and a reverse image search and I come up with this article from 2006.

That picture up top isn't Darren Wilson. He's not even a police officer. His real identity is American motorcyclist Jim McNeil who face-planted during a trick in 2006. So I clicked back through and found the photo and caption on my wall had been shared by a Tom Sullivan III ...and 67,000 other people.

So, fair readers, should you come across some of the thousands of shares of this disingenuous photo, here's your ammo. There is enough crap being spread about Ferguson shooting of Michael Brown. We don't need more.

April 1 is Internets Xmas

Seriously. On April Fool's Day, it rains meme seeds. Kotaku has the official round-up, but this, well... 2K games takes Duke Nukem to the next level: flinging poo.




And then there's the new Harry Potter TV Show:



Truly brilliant!

Today's Drudgery

A smattering of the stupid Drudge is linking to with smarmy comments.

• Mexican gunman fires across border toward U.S. highway workers - The bullets worked really hard but turned to run back when spotted by officials.
• Homeland Security Axes Bush-Era 'Virtual Fence' Project - There goes SecondLife Texas...
• Russia nears arms pact approval, warns on pullout - If you're pulling out of a treaty on reducing nuclear weapons, we've got a little more to worry about than you pulling out of a treaty on reducing nuclear weapons.
• Rescuers struggle as Brazil flood deaths rise - Christ the Redeemer says "Oy, what a view!"
• California says poker is the answer to budget woes - it's unclear whether they are speaking of prostitution or card games. Poke 'er in the rear; lick 'er in the front!
• Judge rules inmate 'bitten on penis by rodent' may sue - Inmate confused, already named rodent Sue; other inmates jealous, want state to fund willing rodent population. Must be mouse 'cause rats get shanked.
• Houston couple to cease and desist: Need feeding permit for homeless - No joke here; this is just what's wrong with the whole fucking state of Texas
• Pope John Paul II moves a step closer to sainthood - finding no proof he fucked any little boys, Vatican declared it a miracle.
• Minnesota Wrestling Coach Put on Leave for Reportedly Insulting Obama, Challenging Him to a Fight - Only a wrestling coach. When he heard PJPII was heading towards sainthood he replied "What about my ma? She's a saint. I'll frickin' fight 'im. I'll kick his ass."
• Fox shoots man - God's sense of humor: a literal representation of the Tuscon tragedy
• Police Describe Photos of Loughner Posing With Gun (Seriously) he was wearing a red g-string. Police speculate it was a gift from Brit Hume

Anything else we need to bitch about?

Weed & Lesbians - Auto-Tune it!

Just watch. Hilarity.

Van Mural Mural Van Again! Again!

NYPD, in a bid to cut costs, has gone with murals of paddywagons which are 90% cheaper than the real thing but only fool about 10% of observers.




And I like how the windows are painted over so you can't see the kidnapped kid struggling in back, dressed as a dwarf.

BP Oil Apology

h/t to Liberality!

LARP - Live Avatar Role Playing

Absurd and hilarious. "It's almost like what I've seen Japanese people do."

Republicans Try to Fart Out Franken

Air America cracks me up sometimes.

Obama Disheartened by Denny's Visit

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Legend of Zelda Trailer!

No, not really. Well, really, but it was IGN's "tits" 2008 April Fool's joke to the world. And if you haven't seen it, take a look.

It actually looks a little better than a SciFi Original. I'd torrent it.

The Vatican Cracks Me Up

Oh, that crazy Pope.

The Vatican Information Service summary for February 7-9 came yesterday and the following headlines elicited such snark that it was my duty to comment upon them.

ABSENCE OF GOD IS MANKIND'S MOST PROFOUND SICKNESS

I would argue that one of humanity's utmost illnesses is over-reliance on the structure of organized religion, the heeding of the barker at the tent of worship for our two pence. You can still have a relationship with God from outside the tent. If God couldn't see you outside, He wouldn't be God. If he doesn't want to listen to you if you don't pay the toll, He's a Dick.


APPEAL FOR PEACE IN MADAGASCAR



Hell yeah, peace! That zebra always be bustin' shit up and don't even get me started on them penguins.

Don't even.


PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN POPE AND GERMAN CHANCELLOR

POPE: Seriously?
CHAN: Really. It happened. We have proof.
POPE: Damn. For reals? I always thought the Holocaust was an old wives' tale.
CHAN: Nope. Pretty serious shit.
POPE: So that bishop thing -
CHAN: Way wrong move.
POPE: Cause, ya know, I'z -
CHAN: You'z was not just playin'.
POPE: ...no. I'z wasn't.
...
POPE: So we cool, though, right?
...
Click.

Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’

Cindy McCain Claims She2019s 2018Just Like Any Other Female Human2019

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Chinese Girl a Fake

Everybody's flipping out about this Chinese girl fake singing at the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. I thought it was pretty obvious.

Bush Brand Shocker

"And when he bends over the couch, I have to stick my finger in John McCain's ass like this," he pantomimed.

OR

Apropos of nothing, Bush broke his usual cool to shout "I will fuck Angela Merkel right here, right now, in front of all y'all! I'll eat her pussy on this podium," he said, pointing to it. Obviously flustered, President Bush attempted to break the sudden tension by leaning forward and quipping "Y'all like alliteration, right?" At which point an slow and quiet "ziiiip" could barely be heard as the hooker in the podium fished for a cocktail wiener.

OR

...I welcome your captions.

Nearly 80 Percent of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene

From my brilliant friend Julie who found this over at glumbert:

glumbert - Gay scientists isolate Christian gene

Waterworld Sees Steampunk Resurgence

Late Tuesday night, Lane Chancellor, avid steampunk aficionado and Chocobo breeder, caught the first twenty minutes of the oft-lauded Hollywood flop, Waterworld, starring Kevin Costner.

"I never knew," he said in a first-ever interview. "I'd seen it when it came out, but that was before I was totally into steampunk. It's like the movie was a story about the future - our future in loving on steampunk."

Chancellor shifted in his chair and subtly eyed his mother poking her head into the basement, wondering "what the hell's going on down there with the lights and the talking and the -"

"Shut up, mom! I'm interviewing," Lane shouted.

"Granted," he continued, "the jet-skis are piss-poor mock-ups when it comes to steampunk, but that balloon? Costner's sail rig? That's fucking hot! Steampunk gold, baby."

At which point, Chancellor waved his hand in a sad attempt at a Jedi Mind Trick, muttering "You will leave now. I have more important matters at hand," and lit the welding torch, continuing to work on his steampunk dildo. At which point I was terrified and allowed Mrs. Chancellor to pack me some cookies before I was on my way.

Mario Key Party!

If you're a subscriber to Game Informer, you also get Game Infarcer. From the world of Mario:

We all know that the Mario gang has some of the wildest parties in the industry, but Key Party takes the gang into some saucy new territory. Hey, we all know things can get a little boring in a long-term relationship (Toad and Yoshi have been domestic partners since '92), so why not spice things up with some gameplay that puts a new spin on the term "multiplayer?" Using the Wii remote to select a key from the fishbowl, you'll find out who you'll be hooking up with for the evening. From there, let's just say things ge interesting, and feature some motion control moves we never thought we'd see.

From Princess Peach to Kirby, the whole crew takes it to the next level in this one, and we even find out that some Nintendo heroes we thought we knew had some definite skeletons in their closet. Hey, has anyone seen Link and Wario? Wonder where they went off to...

Now that's a spicy meat-a-ball!

FCC: Nudity Okay...if it's Alyson Hannigan

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan