Gonna Need Some Van Murals to Properly Claim Comeback, No?

America! Fuck yeah!

Return of Van Mural (Insert Day)

They speak for themselves, though some of it might be unintelligible :) If you want to enjoy all the goodness of Van Mural days past, click that Van Mural tag at the bottom of the post and you can browse them all.

Whee!








(van mural of van murals? *mind blown*)

Van Mural Wizard!

More on the Van Mural tag!



You know you love it.

Van Mural ...Thursday Rides Again!

It's been so long (May!?), dear van mural lovers, so we've got some catching up to do!

For those of you new to Van Mural [insert day here], I've been collecting some of the best van mural magic I can find on the web. The project started as RapeVan, but I found that somewhat limited and potentially offensive. [UPDATE:"rapevan" has been replaced with "van mural"] HOWEVER, the tag endures if you click the RAPEVAN VAN MURAL tag at the bottom of this post, all Van Mural posts shall appear for your joy and approval.

For clarification, it may not always be a van per se, but it will always involve paint on a vehicle of some sort.

Without further ado, I give you Van Murals:


Let's ease on in with a partial of a surreal desertscape.



NYC: I guess I hadn't realized the Statue of Liberty came with a sex doll mouth.



Jack in the WTF?



So much magnificence I had to retain the larger one for your scrutiny. Click image to embiggin. Hobbits and bellies and doggies (and a pic of a pic), oh my!

We should do this more often.

It's Van Mural Time Again!

No better way to take a break from the stupid of government and politics than to have a Van Mural Day.




I don't know if you can make it out, but that is in fact Legolas tearing through the fabric of reality ...but only on the van.




Chess is a game of ...van murals?




Mom! Tell the Duke to stop hogging my van!

Vans to Burn and Eat You (Dragons!)

Awwww hellyeah. I got some ass-kickin' dragon van murals, baby. Day gonna heat you up, chew you up and -- okay, I'll shut up now. I don't even know if that was a dialect or not. Here's your vans:


Dragon Fight!



Dragonized Van gonna eat you!



"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker.'"



I don't know what the hell this is, but I guess it looks kinda like a dragon? Even though it's Lucky Sea Story? (maybe short for seagulling?)

You Wish This Was Your Van, Yo!

He AIMs to please. You aim too, please.



Hoooooooooowwwwwwwwwl! Wolf orgy!



Hells yeah it's the m'f'in Dazzler.



Der monsters on me van!

Van Extravaganza: Scary to Magnificent!

It's almost Wednesday...


Makes me feel dirty


This too, though clearly a 'shop. '70's all over, bad "spraypaint" job.


WTF?


Triple wolf howl with huge ...well, at least you know who's doin' the rapin'.


I am blinded by the magnificence of moon-howling wolf, wizard, and unicorn. Seriously, if there is a sworded warrior, dragon, and scantily clad woman on the other side it would be tangible awesome on four wheels, a gift from the gods themselves.

Van Mural ...Thursday: Pedobear & WTF?

No good rape van is complete without a Pedobear mural.




Yep, this would be the WTF part.

Hey, Little Girl, Come Here...

It's been a while and this isn't even a mural, but hearkens back to the roots of my weekly phenomenon. Click the [Van Mural] tag below to see some past mural posts. Enjoy!

Friday Videos: 7 Degrees of Alabama

Comedy Gold follows. Be prepared. And in the spirit of full disclosure, it's only really 6 from Alabama and a turtle fucking a shoe.

This is a news story from Alabama about 4 years ago. Some folks saw a leprechaun:




Another story from Alabama, apparently attempted rape - with a message:




And just in case someone starts waaambling about how attempted rape cannot be funny:



And yes, I knew (guessed) turtles made that noise when I was 14. I feel radically vindicated 19 years later.

UPDATE!

Holy shit, Alabama - what is wrong with you? This is a recorded conversation when a Huntsville reporter is interrupted by a bystander. WTF?




...and we can't forget the Flea Market video...




Oh, my Christ, make me stop Alabama!




Okay, Cullman Liquidation Ctr, but you're the last one!



Have a great weekend!

Van Mural Wednesday - Giraffe!?

You'd think that a post with this title might have one...maybe two images. You'd be wrong! We've got 4 - count 'em 4 - images to share with you today!


Okay, not really a van, but a giraffe all the same - on a vehicle!


Giraffe in the snow? Not...computing....


Awwwshit. That's all giraffe.


And that's the Oscar Mayer Weiner of Giraffemobiles. Rock on! Probably got some giraffes in there, yo! Sippin' on some Hennessey ('cause giraffes like cognac - duh - check out your Wildlife Treasury, bitch!)


And that's how we roll...

Van Mural Wizards!

This week we're all about wizards! Why? Because they're wizards, ass!


Wizard!


...Wizard?


Hehe...Trim Wizard. Yeah, dat's wat dey call me!


And I don't even know who tagged this guy, but he just showed up on my GISRP. So...Viking Wizard!

Van Mural Mural Van Again! Again!

NYPD, in a bid to cut costs, has gone with murals of paddywagons which are 90% cheaper than the real thing but only fool about 10% of observers.




And I like how the windows are painted over so you can't see the kidnapped kid struggling in back, dressed as a dwarf.

Van Mural Catch Up

She'll understand the look of pride in his face when she sees the inside, soon to be christened The Shag Love Bong Bone Palace.




Big Rich's career picked up significantly after getting a van mural ...and changing his name from Tiny Peasant.




This is a "trainer" for mentally disabled kids, a.k.a. a white delivery truck parked on the streets of San Francisco and unattended for more than 15 minutes.

Van Mural: Bungalows & Dragons!

I was going to crop this first one to highlight the van itself, but what better to highlight a mediocre van mural than by retaining the shitty bungalow in lower-middle class suburbia as its backdrop?




And because I'm always down with twofers (especially when pertaining to numbers of concomitant nightly sexual partners), here's another love for you. Pimped as any Conan-Dragon-Lady mural-ed van should be!




As a matter of fact, I believe I'll be doing some dragon mural research for next week. Expect a big'n!

Van Mural Mural Van?

Does a mural of a van count?



...only if it has a water meter on the side! And a creepy man with flowers.


But this is more like it, curtains (um, bedsheets) and all:



Ewwww...

Van Mural Danger Down: Red & Ice Cream!

Because nothing says "Check out my pimp rims!" like a children's fairy tale.



And this van either sells ice cream or rape. I guess it could be both.

This week's apparent theme: luring children into dangerous situations. How unfortunate.

Weekly Van Mural Never Ends!

(an don't overlook the license plate or crafted bumper...)



...c'mon now - you don't think I'd leave you hangin' do you? Here's the full splendor!





They look like big, good, strong hands. Don't they?