Sexy, Sexy Slime. Naughty Square Enix!

I got an email this morning. Here is the picture that greeted be before coffee:



Does this strike anyone else as a thinly-veiled attempt at piquing the interest of our subconscious sex drive by tossing the letter Q into "Sex Toys?" When has Square Enix EVER abbreviated their name as SQEX?

And then there's the whole idea of DragonQuest (or Dragon Warrior) sex toys. Video game porn, anyone? And I will leave that to you in the comments.

Two Video Thursday!

No, this won't be a regular feature. Or it might be. I'm just wont to say it will because some days I get busy and some lazy and some days I want to curl up in the fetal position under my blankets with the fan on high (I know, weird, huh?) and wait until the sun goes away again.

There's something epic and beautiful about the tragedy that is the rise and fall. Maybe it was Shakespeare. Maybe it was Goodfellas. Maybe I should see a shrink before I decide to go over one ledge or another (figurative ledge, of course).

Now you're saying: Ricky, you walking vag purse, could we see some videos?

So, hey, how about those videos!

This is sheep. And LEDs. And dogs. I think it's cool, but shouldn't the sheep be sleeping at night and not running around fields with light nets strapped to their backs? I know if someone tried to strap lights to my back at night with the intent of making me run around in a field I'd be all "Dude, I'm playing Mass Effect." Or I'd be sleeping and when they woke me I'd punch them and then go play some Mass Effect because I'm up anyway.




And then there's this bit of interest. I didn't vet it, but it appears mostly correct in its numbers. Maybe I just think its suspect because it came from my father and - while not 100% shitty - most of the stuff that comes from certain people I know needs to be pushed through Snopes. Wait. This didn't come from my father at all. It came from Dr. Mercola. Oh, wait. He's on the list too.

Interesting? Yes. Astonishing? Not unless you live in a cave. And if you've been living in a cave for a while, you probably think everything that has to do with modern technology is astonishing. So then this might be. But if you did live in a cave, shower, then watch this. You stink.

Adopt an Actor: Michael Rappaport

I've seen it around and, really, am late to the party by like 2 years, but I have decided to Adopt an Actor per I, Splotchy (who I guess began the project).

And as soon as I decided, the choice was obvious: Michael Rappaport.



I first fell in love with Michael Rappaport's work in what has become, over the years, what I refer to as "My favorite movie:" True Romance (1993). Patricia Arquette was, of course, hot. Christian Slater was fab. But who made the movie? The character roles like Brad Pitt, Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Bronson Pinchot, and the most delicious Gary Oldman. Hell, even James Gandolfini and Samuel L. Jackson hit with that.

Michael's work has gone through respectable character roles through the years appearing as voice talent on blockbuster video games and recurring roles on Friends, Boston Public, My Name is Earl, and now Prison Break. Michael's appeared in films such as Higher Learning, The Scout, Basketball Diaries, Cop Land, and Hitch. I jokingly used to call him "the hardest working actor in Hollywood."

At first, when seeing the Adopt an Actor program, I honestly thought it was a "has-been" joke. Now I realize that it's much more about unsung heroes. When I see Michael Rappaport on screen or hear his voice, it's something familiar, something close to home. And I appreciate that.

Thank you Michael Rappaport. May your films and roles ever grow. Visage on the right.

Enough About AIG. Seriously.

Seriously. Shut the fuck up. I know you're pissed. I'm pissed too. But maybe we're not pissed about the same thing.

See, I'm a very liberal person when it comes to politics. I am also a business owner who works very hard for the money I earn in today's economy. America, and even Obama today, is expressing outrage over AIG's couple hundred million in bonuses. And it's the most absurd symbol of all the skullfuckery going on in our economy to date.

I'm not pissed about AIG's bonuses. Sure, perhaps they shouldn't have them since American taxpayers own 80% of the friggin' company, but Chris Dodd (D) is the one who put language in the stimulus bill that says any contract in play before Feb. 11th is to be honored. That's our guy behind the source of the outrage.

And the saddest thing is that everyone's pissed about AIG's couple hundred million dollars. Let me say it again: shut the fuck up about AIG. Last year we dumped $700 billion into banks and whatever-the-shit with no checks, no balances, and no accountability under the auspices of The Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008. And we don't know where much of that money is right now.

So what happened in this stimulus bill? Did we learn from what George W. Bush did with the war bill? Did we learn from what happened last year? Did the Democrats with a commanding lead in congress grab the reins and inject rules and provisions and accountability into this bill?

NO! Congress - our Democratically-led Congress - pulled the same shit they did last year. Obama pulled the same "gotta happen now or DOOM!" bullshit Bush pulled with the Iraq War legislation, pushing a bill through that was physically impossible to read in the allotted time before voting. We've tossed another $700 billion into the air and Congress is only NOW saying "hey, we should've put something in there about what if it's windy...."

This isn't a problem with our President; he's as hopeful and optimistic as anyone can be in an economic time like this. This isn't an issue with accountability or learning our lessons; if Congress wrote the bill again and America wasn't dealing with misplaced aggression, they'd do the same shit again. This is a problem with Congress.

You want Change with Obama, we start with the Legislative branch. House? 2 terms. Senate? 1 term. Then get the hell out. Without the worry for extended re-election, we won't have to deal with as much bullshit and lying. Without the potential for a full-on career in DC, you'll only get people who want to do the job.

Will it have problems? Sure. But last month our government took a shit-ton of our money for a second time in 6 months, stuck a pole up our asses and didn't even have the courtesy to give a reach-around.

Shouldn't we do something other than shake our fist at a company that has a fart-in-the-wind role in the process?

Did they muck up the financial waters? Yep. But when everyone was getting fat and happy, no one was shaking fingers. Did they take a ton of taxpayer money? Yep. But no one tied any strings. Are they handing out bonuses with that money? Yep, because a Democrat said they could.

If you're going to be angry, at least be angry at the right thing.