A Palin Wrap-Up

Go here:Not My Gal. Follow every link, especially the Palin as President one, and watch every video.

It will make your day, probably your weekend.

Quick Note on the New Header

A great heap of thanks to those who have commented on the header - all with support.

Just in case anyone thinks I'm a little boy drinking a beer, I grabbed the image on the left of the header from Francesco Mazzola (Parmigianino), an Italian mannerist painter. This is called Self-portrait in a Convex Mirror(c.1524). (Thanks again Jen!)

I Photoshopped in the beer and flag.

Ironically, I knew none of this when I grabbed the image - I just liked it - and it turns out that Parmigianino means "the little one from Parma." I am 5'7" and grew up in Parma, OH.

Sometimes synchronicity is frightening.

BUNNY!

Because after all the sad and all the bullshit and all the stress this week, a giant pink bunny is exactly what we all need. Rock it out Daily Mail.



Hey, that bunny looks pretty big.

How big is it?



Wow, that looks pretty big. Seriously; I'm not an albatross. How big is the damn thing?



Oh, so that's the bottom of one of the feet with the creators.

Holy shit.

A giant pink rabbit has been created in the Alps that can be seen from space.

Visitors are encouraged by those who made it to climb all over the 200ft toy sculpture and even sleep on it.

But the Austrian art collective who created the bunny were amazed to find that it is so large the rabbit can be seen from space via the Google Earth programme.

It is made of soft, waterproof, materials and stuffed with straw to make it comfortable to rest on.
...
Wolfgang Gantner of the Vienna-based art group, Gelitin, said: 'It's supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can't help but smile.

'We like to see hikers climb up the bunny's 20ft sides and relax on his belly.'
...
[The sign next to it] reads: 'Behind a hill, as if knitted by giant grandmothers, lies this vast rabbit, to make you feel as small as a daisy.'

I wanna nap on the big bunny too.

Kentucky Locks Up Kid for "Terroristic" Short Story

You're just going to get a straight story on this one. I've read this story 3 times and I think I get angrier every time. Fire it up in the comments. Thanks Jen!

From LEX-18:

A George Rogers Clark High School junior arrested Tuesday for making terrorist threats told LEX 18 News Thursday that the "writings" that got him arrested are being taken out of context.

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Poole disputes that he was threatening anyone.

"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention (George Rogers Clark High School), didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing,"
said Poole. "Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."

On Thursday, a judge raised Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.

Poole is being held at the Clark County Detention Center.

Joe the Plumber Collapses McCain's Good Leg

If you watched the last debate, you are more than aware of St. Joe the Plumber, the Hail Mary that John McCain just tossed out there.

It was intercepted.

McCain could've gained some points on this if Joe buried himself after lying to Obama. But he wanted his 15 minutes.

He owes back taxes. He is not a licensed plumber. And it turns out that Wurzelbacher makes less than $250,000 a year, which means he would receive a tax cut if Obama were elected president.

As radio talk show host Ed Schultz just said, Joe is the "poster child for a low-information voter."

To paraphrase Stephen Colbert, Joe didn't realize that during your 15 minutes of fame, 12 of that is a media anal probe.

UPDATE: Joe's also apparently a cousin of Charles Keating’s son-in-law.

Al Jazeera in Ohio - More Hate

At a Palin rally in St. Clairsville, Ohio, Raw Story reports, Al-Jazeera, arguably one of the best news organizations in the world, got some very open footage of what many people think of as stereotypical Ohio: Obama, Muslim, negro, etc.

In defense of educated, civilized Ohioans everywhere, St. Clairsville is out in the sticks. But it's still embarrassing.

Time to Get Some Head

Hey, y'all. New header here. Critiques and/or compliments are welcome.

And how about that "follow" bit to the right? If you read regularly, or occasionally, hit me up. I love you all.

McCain Obama Futzfest, a.k.a. The Debate

I have already posted this at All Things Democrat, but it was so delicious, I had to post it here too. Please visit ATD and add your own wonderful feelings about, well, everything.

Here we go:

• At the start, you could tell McCain was trying so damn hard to look at Obama, but succeeded only in mildly twitching while glancing at his chin and blinking like it was breathing. No MIB reference here. Seriously.


• McCain's grip on the pen in the beginning was for dear life, succeeding in an apparent homage to Bob Dole.


• Yes, John, Ireland only has 11% income tax, but they also have what's called a Value Added Tax or VAT, that shimmies just North of 20%, and added into the cost of the purchase of almost all goods. I swear he's getting his economic talking points from the cardboard side of a Happy Meal Box.


• McCain has a close tie to Palin's minister's hunted witch in Kenya, because his plan is to magically increase home values while keeping people who seriously can't afford them in them. No, no, no. Do not ask how.


• McCain's "If you wanted to run against Bush..." moment: Awwww! No you din'n, oh no you din'n! Obama, you jus got served!


• Obama's reply: Sorry - I get Bush all confused wit his Toadie up in here. Damn.


• Obama on McCain's claim on Obama's tax plan: "even Fox news disputes it." Cue the McCain O face. Wha-what?


• Obama referenced a "vigorous debate like we're having tonight." Was he watching the same snoozer I was? The only thing keeping me awake was the residual meth McCain smoked before going on stage.


• Obama takes issue with people yelling "Kill him!" and McCain retorts that he greatly respects his supporters. Ooh...sna...p?


• In particular, I would like to hear more about the t-shirt that John McCain finds so offensive. Really, I do.


• And he wasn't going to do it - you could tell. Hesitation galore. Then McCain pulled that nervous, knot-in-the-stomach, I've got to ask out my Jr. High sweetheart or they'll all make fun of me energy out of his pristine bowels and whipped out his Ayers and ACORNs.


• Obama promptly cut them off, successfully nailing the issues, dead, to the floor for anyone who isn't a right wing nut job still suckling the Hannity/Limbaugh teat.


• Obama went all subtly presumptive on us, talking about the connections and people who "will surround me in the White House." I kinda liked it.


• Did McCain just call Palin a "bresh of flesh air?" That's kinda sexy in an old man / MILF low-budget internet porno kind of way. Wait. No. It's not.


• McCain: "Iraq is united."
  Ricky: What planet does he live on?
  Mrs. Shambles: He lives on Planet Goiter.


• McCain, unprompted, shouted "Climate change!" and after the question was asked, discussed Obama's unilateral renegotiation of NAFTA with Canada. I'm like a chocoholic but with politics (and booze), but this one: WTF?


• Love aside for a moment, Obama has gotten much better at knocking out the "um"s but still has this mental work pause going on sometimes, where you move with the flow and (pause, hold your breath) there it is and pause again and okay. He'll have 8 years to work on it, I guess.


• Dear John: don't push the "drill now" line when oil closed just over $70 a barrel because even at lowered prices no one can afford the sh*t.


• McCain to Obama on south of the border: "Maybe you oughta travel down there." Dick.


• McCain should've known better from back in the day when Giuliani was openly laughing at Ron Paul: all mics all the time. At least twice there was an impromptu, minor disruption of Obama's voice by some sort of Snuffleupagus half-snore, an attempt to clean out something obviously old and clogged and - dude, gross!


• This wasn't necessarily related directly to the debate, but I love how conservatives are simultaneously shouting "Buy American" and touting that WalMart is the pinnacle of capitalism. Palin creating a(n obviously staged) hullabaloo buying diapers from China does not bode well for America or American jobs.


• After seeing McCain's stiff thumbs repeatedly, noting McCain was a POW and saying a little prayer for his family, Mrs. Shambles noted "You know Cindy loves his thumb."


• I liked how Obama kept talking into the camera, talking to the people. That was nice.


• I didn't like how when McCain attempted to talk into the camera, his gaze was shifty and he didn't stick with it. I'm glad Little Shambles wasn't up; she would've had nightmares.


• Leave Britney - I mean: leave Joe the Plumber ALONE!


• McCain: How much you gonna charge Joe the plumber, heh, heh?
  Obama: Fee is zero.
  Cue second McCain O face, frantic scribbling: Beat Shmooby's ASS for not saying anything.


• I made up Shmooby.


• McCain: "except for those people who have the gold-plated Cadillac insurance policies that have to do with cosmetic surgery and transplants and all of those kinds of things." Gold? Cadillac? I do believe we're race-baiting again. Again.


• Paraphrase of McCain's response to a SCOTUS litmus test: I would not impose any litmus test, but do not believe anyone qualified would agree with Roe vs. Wade. Perhaps he hasn't gotten to McDonald's this week to get the Established Law Happy Meal.


• McCain, for the first time I've ever heard, proposed "Troops to Teachers." Really? Bring someone from a war theatre and plant them in the classroom, uncertified? Aren't we discussing the hard-line qualifications that teachers must meet?


• Note for both candidates: Neither one of you f*c*ers has ever been a teacher. Bad teachers can be fixed if they want it. Why? Bad teachers aren't bad teachers on purpose (although I suspect some may have gotten lazy and some people are just retarded). In NC, you get into the biz at $25K a year and dump about 10% of that back into your students, 7% into a mandatory state retirement plan. Add extra college classes, conferences, continuing education, National Board Certification. Nobody gets into teaching because of the money, but because they believe they can help the future of America. So it's the teachers and the military: Help change the future and get paid sh*t. I'm sure I'm missing a few vocations - replies welcome. Okay, I'm done.


• John McCain referenced Autism twice when talking about Sarah Palin's son, Trig. Was he afraid to say the word "retarded" or "handicapped?"


• In closing, McCain said to Barack "Good to be with you...again." Can you not even say his name? Was "you negro" lingering in your brain so strongly that you couldn't continue the sentence? Might as well have reprised "That One."


• Post-Coitus: McCain's "blah" moment in trying to journey to the other side of the table. This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

CDC: OMG We Just Watched the Internets!

Apparently a bunch of kids all over America are car surfing and video taping it and posting it to YouTube (hey retards, that's proof). And some kid got hurt and his mom works at the CDC and they all took a break over there and did a working lunch on Betty's computer - cause her internet isn't so slow - and watched the YouTube.

And they freaked the fuck out and issued a press release: "OMG guyz, hay the ridn outsid carz i's dangers!"

Quick question for the CDC:



Where the fuck were you in 1985 when Michael J. Fox showed us exactly how cool this could be?

Partnership for a McCain-Free White House

Your folks may be engaging in risky behavior. Talk to your parents about McCain. Yes. It's that important. From MoveOn.org

La Pequena Sarah Palin!

This will make your day. All thanks to Monkey.

Obama McCain Debate - End Retch!

No more Red Bull before public appearances. Please.

So last night.

Yeah.

McCain v.3.9.00.21 was interesting.

What did we learn? That McCain's abnormally stiff thumbs (he was a P.O.W., you know), must be a favorite of Cindy's, and that John's jaw harbors a parasitic twin.

In the picture above, it's the very end of the debate, McCain actually shook Obama's hand - frantically and vigorously - and is bouncing back and forth like a pinball to figure out how to get to the other side of a relatively small table in order to shake Bob Schieffer's hand. My guess: Adderall and three Jäger-Bombs. The freeze frame will probably be spun by the right as a "good-natured show of exasperation."

This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

And if you missed it, last night's unidentifiable noise was the death rattle of the McCain campaign.

Full point-by-point will appear at All Things Democrat later today.

Skylar's Art of Five

My niece, Skylar, recently turned 5. She's always handing out drawings, but for some reason I had to talk her into letting me keep this one.

Captions requested as I can't quite get my head around the Gestalt of the thing.

Computer Says No

Late on this bus again. How did I miss Little Britain?

Blogger Template Upgrade - Wha-what?

I've done some things in the past 2 years to personalize my blog space, and then they go all "you've gotta upgrade!" on me.

So today I upgrade, which of course means I'll lose many of my mods. Luckily, I'm due for a revamping, and will probably add a new header, clean up the look from this tired old polka-dotted template. Also, being a web developer, it doesn't make me nervous, just frustrated at the amount of time I'm going to have to spend. But I want to include a follower widget, link to my twitter, etc.

It'll be better for all of us.

So if shit gets flooby in the next few hours, don't freak. It'll be okay. Soon.

And don't forget to do that follow thing: all the cool kids are.

More McCain/Palin Supporter Racism

Almost 3 minutes of stomach-churning, racist, ignorance. Johnstown, PA Palin rally.

T-Shirt Hell: Happy Shirts!

It's T-Shirt Hell. What the fuck did you expect?

In Case Youse Forgots: Obama is a Muslim

There is a large faction of nutters out there who - despite every credible resource - believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is not an American Citizen. If you found the McCain Palin mob disturbing, I pulled this mentally challenged rant off an "Invade Iran" blog (no link, bitches!) that was hosting a version of the "Obama is Not American" video:

This is absolutely unbelievable! Everyone is running around trying to prove that this Muslim is NOT an American citizen. We don't have to prove he is not an American citizen damn it! This sorry SOB and the Democratic party have got to prove THAT HE IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! Mr. Berg has gone the extra mile...AND THEN SOME...to prove that Obama is NOT an American Citizen and therefore not eligible to run for President of The United States of America because of the fraud perpetrated on American Citizens who seem hell bent on letting this TROJAN HORSE march right into our White House with the Koran under his arm, burn our flag, destroy our bibles, tramp on our constitution and aid and abed the One World Order in their quest to destroy our country! This man went to the same schools that our worst enemies attended. He boldly acknowledges friendships with terrorists that wish to destroy our Nation and everything it represents. He repeats over and over again that he represents "Change". Hell yes he does! He intends to change our country into a Global melting pot under the Kuran! He keeps repeating that "our" economy is a "Global Problem requiring Global solutions" and his followers just keep chanting "Change! Change! Change!...instead of reading between the lines!" like ignorant children following the pied piper they march right along behind the biggest lie ever perpetrated on Americans! The man is evil incarnate people! Both he and the Democratic party refused to produce the 3 documents Berg has repeatedly requested and which any of you could easily produce! Instead he and the Democratic Party request and are provided legal immunity by the Court!They have been told they do not HAVE to produce them... Fine! But how does not "having" to produce them prove that the man IS an American Citizen? To the contrary, does that action not at least suggest that the documents CANNOT be produced because the do not exist? Ergo...the man cannot or will not prove he is an American Citizen and therefore is NOT elligible for either the office of the Senate or the Presidency of the United States of America!!!
...So file suit against the Democratic party forcing them to either provide a legitimate replacement or concede the election to the Republican candidate! Are there guns to everyones heads in the news media?
Why does Bill O'Reilly insist the man IS an American Citizen without offering more proof than the forged Birth Certificate posted on Obama's web sited? !!! This is your country people...are you just going to turn it over to a Muslim?
Good God in Heaven!...Please help us!