Thursday, October 16, 2008

Obama McCain Debate - End Retch!

McCain Confused about everything
No more Red Bull before public appearances. Please.

So last night.


McCain v. was interesting.

What did we learn? That McCain's abnormally stiff thumbs (he was a P.O.W., you know), must be a favorite of Cindy's, and that John's jaw harbors a parasitic twin.

In the picture above, it's the very end of the debate, McCain actually shook Obama's hand - frantically and vigorously - and is bouncing back and forth like a pinball to figure out how to get to the other side of a relatively small table in order to shake Bob Schieffer's hand. My guess: Adderall and three Jäger-Bombs. The freeze frame will probably be spun by the right as a "good-natured show of exasperation."

This was my favorite moment of the debate and reminded me of that one relative at a family reunion - let's call him Uncle John - who is always just a dick. Then one day, either by Aunt Cindy's nagging or a spontaneous, genuine effort to not be a dick, Uncle John shows up and he's smiling, and he chuckles, and he even sticks out his tongue in this goofy show of exasperation. But something's off. He twitches a little. See, Uncle John has spent so much of his life being a dick that when he tries to to be genuinely good-natured, it just comes across as a socially awkward, fabricated facade that, ultimately, only serves to amplify the fact that Uncle John will never be anything but a dick.

And if you missed it, last night's unidentifiable noise was the death rattle of the McCain campaign.

Full point-by-point will appear at All Things Democrat later today.

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