Bush Wants to Bring Bhutto Suicide Bomber to Justice

Yesterday, after it was mostly understood that a single suicide bomber opened fire at former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and then 'sploded, President Bush announced "Those who committed this crime must be brought to justice ..."

Note to President Bush's speechwriting team: you might want to explain to him that the person responsible is dead. Suggested intervention script based on the most recent information: "See, this t'rr'rist dinna like Bhutto, so he got close and shot at her, but'e missed. But'e's wearin' a bomb too and blowed 'imself up. When he 'sploded, part a da bomb hit'er in the head, killed'er dead. Heh." Explaining that you're not talking about Buddha is on you.

Priest v. Priest: Fight!

AP Photo

Just in time to eschew the symbolic sanctimony of the Birth of Christ:

Feuding Christian sects have attacked each other in a flurry of fists and brooms at the Bethlehem church where Christ was reputedly born, leaving four people injured.

The fight took place at the ecumenical Church of the Nativity, where priests from both the Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic orders had been cleaning up after Christmas celebrations earlier in the week, the BBC reports.

It is understood the fracas began when a Greek priest placed a ladder in a part of the church known be under Armenian jurisdiction.

Up to 80 bearded holy men wearing dark robes became embroiled in the fight, many wielding brooms.

There's not much to say about that. WWJD? Probably kick their stupid asses out and raze the church for its symbolic idolatry. You'd think the keepers of the faith would be the ones to understand the importance of the spiritual over the physical. Alas, thus is the path of organized religion.

And if that's not all three slices of crazy in one day, here's another dose of UN-Christlike behavior:

Bill O'Reilly's War on the War on Christmas

For your Christmas hangover, here's a little Bill O to make that vein pop out in your forehead. "Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born!" Amen, Bill.



And as a bonus, a new site: Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly International.