The Face of Conservatism: Dead Kids Are Funny

From this piece of foul bloggery:

One would have to have a heart of stone to fail to be amused by the death of this little punk:

A 65-year-old man who was knocked off his bicycle by three teenagers on a Pennsylvania trail shot two of them, killing one, police said according to reports. The Reading Eagle newspaper said the wounded teen, 16, was taken to hospital and the third, aged 15, was taken in for questioning and was later committed to a youth center.... According to police, the 65-year-old was riding his bicycle when the teens knocked him to the ground, the station said. Police said two teens then assaulted the man, who drew his gun and shot them.

What a pity that's not on YouTube. Can you imagine the expression on the face of the dying little prick? One moment, he thinks he's a happy-slapping bad ass impressing his friends with a little casual assault-and-battery and the very next moment, it's game over. For good. Way to go, tough guy.

Concealed carry is certainly one of the more effective means of teaching the little bastards to show the elderly at least a modicum of respect.

Unfortunately, it speaks for itself.

Drudge's Pitchfork & Reagan's Corpse: Tonight We Eat Newt

Awww, shit. It was to happen eventually: the powers that be on the Right would have to make a move to determine their candidate outside the electoral process. As the above image shows (click to embiggin), a stand has been made. Drudge has picked up the pitchfork (or had it handed to him) and figuratively killed the Gingrich campaign by invoking the Holy Ronald and calling up from the depths the Newt-flavored betrayals on the "Real Conservatives'" hallowed Saint. Drudge is the Kraken and he has been released.

They couldn't shut him down personally, could not point out his multiple stands on multiple issues, could not address his personal manifestation of the antithesis of morality. They had to say "Dude dissed RayRay!"

The supposed high-brow political discourse that Gingrich stood for is dead. Long live low-brow political discourse.

Now, about that Romney fellow...

In Short: Hannity Didn't Watch SOTU

I know, I know. Every time I begin a post with "Yesterday on Hannity's radio show..." a little part of your soul dies and a dribble of vomit leaks inexplicably from your left ear. Me too. So weird.

However, yesterday on Hannity's radio show, after listening for a few minutes on the way to Kroger, it became apparently clear that Sean Hannity was relying on what other people had to say about the SOTU Tuesday evening:

• He mocked Obama for saying "the state of the union is strong," but Obama notably did not say that. He said "The state of our Union is getting stronger."
• He said that Obama's recognition of the Military as an example was a call to work together, but Obama's statement was using the US Military as an example to focus on a mission and get the job done.
• Working together obviously brought out the "If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun" quote from Obama, but it was directly implied that Obama had said that to the military (when it was a one-off to the press pool about a debate in Philly with McCain in '08).

I know Hannity artfully and gleefully spins facts and pulls emotionally charged rhetoric - however disproved or irrelevant - to be another powerful voice in painting Obama as "the other," but this seemed particularly ignorant, like he was spinning an intern's notes.

Or maybe he's purposefully deconstructing every argument against Obama into a single, timeless, reference-less amalgam of foul vitriol, an abstract, artistic work in progress that will culminate Election night 2012 in a single, forced, guttural syllable followed immediately by his very essence being expelled in a protoplasmic blob as his human shell collapses like an ancient paper wasp nest whacked with a snow shovel.

Or he's just being a dick.

Republican Response: Women Don't Count

Last night I watched the whole SOTU and Republican Response. The item that left the biggest impression for me was when Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN), near the beginning of the official Republican response, stated

One in five men of prime working age…did not go to work today.

Immediately after that, my brain went into a repeating loop of questioning stupid. Did he just say that? What sausage-fest proofed that speech? Did he really mean it? What the hell is "prime working age?" Was the intent to really address only the working men of our country?

I can find the quote a couple of places through Google and full text on his campaign page (he does not have an official twitter himself), but no one seems to be addressing the misogynist angle that's pretty damn apparent.

HARDCORE Juliet: 8 years old

I could watch this all day. Seriously. Agent. Now.