Call Me Maybe

This is Carly Rae Jepsen singing "Call Me Maybe."

You probably don't want to watch it. I've heard the song / seen the video only twice, have not been exposed for a week, and yesterday it popped into my head and it won't go away.

If you have not experienced it, you probably should once, just to know what everyone's blathering on about. But the fact that everyone's blathering on about it should be a pretty powerful context clue.



My personal opinion? It's really quite terrible.

Right Wing Dichotomy in 2 Videos

Jesus built my hot rod




...but Satan is my motor.



Which based on the lyrics of the former means Jerry Lee Lewis is my motor. So maybe it doesn't make as much sense as I thought. Or does it?

HARDCORE Juliet: 8 years old

I could watch this all day. Seriously. Agent. Now.

NSFW Video - Duck Sauce: The Big Bad Wolf

I know you're going to watch it at least twice.

via i09

Lawns. WTF?

Fuckin' Magnets, how do they work?



I started this with a little ICP because: Lawns - WTF?

Ever turn around and see something so normal and think "WTF?"

I have a lawn in the back and a lawn in the front. In general, un-abused nature, these should be small meadows. But American (+ other countries) general wisdom is that this patch of plant, when trimmed properly with a machine that eats gas, is a wonderful, beautiful, necessary part of living in a house.

(Granted, in water-poor areas, dirt and stone is fine.)

It wastes water, it wastes fuel, it adds to our garbage if bagged.

What the hell are we doing?

Why am I growing a lawn in my front yard? Why am I feeding it to make it grow and hacking the shit out of it every week or two to make it "pretty?"

I propose every lawn in America be killed and turned into a rock or sand or dirt pile in order to preserve the water we DO have at this time. To reduce the amount of pesticides and other chemicals we regularly dump into our ground water.

And then I could focus on more important things like if Weiner's cock shot is real or not.


Fuckin' lawns, how do they work?


Well, ICP, they work by eating our resources for a stupid show of vanity.

Take it Back: Album Covers

I took a shot at going back into my archives of lovely Photoshop pieces that perhaps you have never seen in I'm Hilarious in Iraq. Here are a couple album covers I did:

Combining two albums? Sure! Here's The Gray Album:




And in a double-entendre exercise, I would love to hear this band:

New Old ...What?

This elf appears ready to spread a little more than holiday cheer.


In the song "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" the last lines are

Everyone's dancing merrily
In a new old fashioned way

What is the "new old fashioned way" and why does that phrase grate on my soul to the point of not just ruining what is a pretty festive and enjoyable ditty but sours my outlook for hours?

Imperial Stars, Fuck You

Band PR FAIL

There's this band, Imperial Stars. They had a meeting 2 weeks ago with their PR team that probably went something like this:

IS:So what's the next big stunt, the next big thing?

PR-Co.: Okay, follow me here. You've got that song Traffic Jam 101

IS: Yeah, cause we, like, party like rock stars every chance we get, like even in a traffic jam, holmes.

PR: Right, so it's Traffic Jam 101. So you "cause" a traffic jam on the 101, but it's really like a free show and - BAM! - it's a free concert flash mob all rolled into one!

IS: Bomb diggidy. We'll send you a check.

So these asshats drove up the 101 in their big ol' Imperial Stars truck this morning and around Sunset Blvd. pulled a sideways stop, blocking 3 lanes, and started performing their song, Traffic Jam 101.

If anyone has had the unfortunate experience of driving the 101 in LA, any time day or night it's a goddamned mess, a powder keg ready to explode. And these guys took it to a standstill. It's a good thing the cops showed up because they'd probably be dead. And all this to sing a shitty song about partying all the time. Earth to Imperial Stars: Lots of things happen on the 101 - swearing, smoking, horn-honking, sweating, brief pit-stops - but none of those things is partying.

For their next PR gig, the Imperial Stars will make every line in every Starbucks 8 people longer all the time, extend the pain of kidney stones to the entire body, and make rape 50% more humiliating.

I can't even imagine the people who might've lost a job or missed an interview or wasn't there to pick up their kid.

Imperial Stars: FUCK YOU.

Oh, and if you're so morbidly curious that you must - absolutely must - see their video, here it is for you in all its misery. I suggest NO, but I know you will. But really: don't.



Seriously: this isn't something put together by the Dick in a Box folks? This is a real band? Deplorable.

Rant + Bitchin' Camero

I was just looking for Bitchin' Camero, but found a fab rant by Rodney ...FOLLOWED by Bitchin' Camero and VFW. Tits!

I Need You

(I originally heard this song as a cover and they used "paper doll" instead of "baby doll." Annie is queen, so I won't argue, but I like the lyrical change better.)

Eurythmics - I Need You

I need you to pin me down
Just for one frozen moment.
I need someone to pin me down
So I can live in torment.
I need you to really feel
The twist of my back breaking
I need someone to listen
To the ecstacy I'm faking.
I need you you you

I need you to catch each breath
That issues from my lips
I need someone to crack my skull
I need someone to kiss.
So hold me now
I'll make pretend
That I won't ever fall
Oh hold me down
I'm gonna be your baby doll

I need you you you...
Is it you I really need?
I do I do I do
I really do
I need you...

The Music Done Me In

I cry a little more than I used to. But one of the things that I've noticed over the past few years is that music makes all the difference; in every show you might watch, the plot may be stirring, the story may touch a base in your soul, and the connection you make to it may be monumental. But when you get to the end of the tale, the end of the network-sanctioned narrative, there's something that can touch you in the denouement. And that's music.

I noticed it first a few years ago in the final montage minutes of ER. "The story's not that great so why am I weepy?" Again in that episode of West Wing with Mark Harmon as the Secret Service agent. Again in any episode of Cold Case. "I don't care about these people really, so why am I battening down the hatches so I don't drop into throes of sobbing during the last 3 minutes of resolution?"

It was the music.

The music massages the little bits you've collected during the show or movie, puts them all together, works as the glue of emotion, the background of magic that makes that story progress or wrap up or really do something more than just tell a tale.

So: Thank you to every single editor and producer who has added some great bit of music to the movie or the show. You made it happen. And I wept. Thank you.

Musical, Personality Watershed

So aside from that other watershed moment that I decided to bury prematurely in the archives, here's a little something from my past.

One day in 9th grade I was wandering through Camelot Music (FYE now), a few bucks burning a hole in my pocket with my friend Annette, 3 years my senior. I'd been listening to different kind of music, was just starting to get into my own groove, and I was presented with a choice. I only had enough money for one CD, and I was agonizing between two:





I hemmed and hawed and backed and forthed for almost 20 minutes before making my decision, heavily influenced by Annette's patience level: Nine Inch Nails it would be.

And it changed my life.

I'm not saying I wouldn't have eventually bought that album if I'd picked Violent Femmes, but I see that single choice as an enormous formative decision in my young life. Pretty Hate Machine led to musical offshoots making me aware of Ministry, Love and Rockets (& Bauhaus), Sisters of Mercy, Skinny Puppy, etc., and - honestly - allowed me to wallow in the angst of my soul just like every high school kid should.

I've gone much more indie and singer/songwriter, but still love that music and go through moods where nothing else will do but to scream my heart out. Heck, I think I'm going to the Legendary Pink Dots show in Columbus next month.

So thanks Annette. That one time, that one day, you nudged me in what I see now as the only right direction. And I'm who I am today because of it.

Juggalo Season Again!?

You may recall this post and video from last year around this time. Yes, that's correct: it's Juggalo Season. Again.

For those of you way out of the loop and not willing to click, Juggalos are a social scene wrapped around the music of hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse. They drink Faygo and some paint their faces like clowns. Scary clowns.

Well, at the just-past Gathering of the Juggalos this year, Tila Tequila (who apparently sings?!) decided to lay her rhythms on the Juggalos. They did not like it and pelted her with bottles and rocks, then chasing her to her trailer, which they rocked and broke out windows.



Oh, and for the record, they fucked up Method Man too :(

Ah, Juggalos.


UPDATE: From AV Club - "Excessive makeup, grating voices, oversharing of all things gross: The Kardashians are the new Juggalos."

Ah, Kardashians.

Dear God

One of my favorite songs of all time. Reminds me to be angry.

Original XTC



Get pissed off - not at the politicians, but the universe. Get angry. Turn up the music, jump around the room, scream at the top of your lungs, and punch the walls if you can afford to fix them. Break something. Shout. Holler.

Throw a fucking plate down on the road in front of your house. And scream again!

Sarah McLachlan



Then do something about it.

I'm worried that the anger us liberals feel is not so much about a president that talked about the stick then showed us a rope, but a need to call bullshit on a higher power.

Republicans don't have the nuts to make the call. We do.

BULLSHIT!

If it's time for change, WE make change! No one else!

Tricky Remix



More Mojo



Cry. Cry every second. Then bring fire. We need fire.

God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor

Depeche Mode for y'all.

I, too, expect to find him laughing...




...and my fav vid from XTC, just for kicks...



...a whole post on covers of that coming...

Ultimates! Ricky's Fav Movies & Music

I'm feeling a little brash today, a little like sticking it out there and just declaring once and for all that I do have a favorite, and ultimate of some for or another. So let's get this over with.

Favorite Song: White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane




Funniest Animated Show Ever: Frisky Dingo




Funniest Movie Ever: BASEketball




Favorite Movie: True Romance




There we go. I feel better.

Ground Control to Major Tom

No, exactly what you might think. Look how young Davie is!

Monday Jesus: The Beatles!, Ugly Army, Turin Turnin'

Beatles and Satan

The Beatles, this week, got a nod from the Vatican:

Offering the band complete absolution, the article, entitled Seven Years That Shook Music, L’Osservatore Romano said: “Its true they took drugs, lived life to excess because of their success, even said they were bigger than Jesus and put out mysterious messages, that were possibly even Satanic.

“They may not have been the best example for the youth of the day but they were by no means the worst. Their beautiful melodies changed music and continue to give pleasure.”

It went on: “Forty years later the Beatles still astound with their originality and they are a consolation against the continual assault on music lovers by the record industry.”

Someone's a fan. But does that sound back-handed to anyone?

Ehh...Satanic? No problem! They made good music! WTF?


End Times

Some folks think it's neigh. The END, that is. And the worst thing is that the article is written because these anti-gov't choads think it's so:



Wrong answer, Chris Kattan!


Turin in His Grave?

The Shroud of Turin is back on display. Yay! I mean, whatever. I'm going with fake. Durr.

Van Mural Wednesday: Joplin n Crap!

Heheh...take a look at this Joplin-painted van.



Wait, um, that's actually kind of well done. Cheers!


Of course, I know you're not here for good examples of the art, so here you go:



Motha-fucka got a pop top for stand-up sex. Now that's a party!

(Oh, and the moon appears to be pissing a wild one)

Arctic Monkeys - Nick Cave - Red Right Hand

I love the Arctic Monkeys. I love Nick Cave. I love this fucking video. Love it with me.