Friday, June 03, 2011

Lawns. WTF?

Fuckin' Magnets, how do they work?

I started this with a little ICP because: Lawns - WTF?

Ever turn around and see something so normal and think "WTF?"

I have a lawn in the back and a lawn in the front. In general, un-abused nature, these should be small meadows. But American (+ other countries) general wisdom is that this patch of plant, when trimmed properly with a machine that eats gas, is a wonderful, beautiful, necessary part of living in a house.

(Granted, in water-poor areas, dirt and stone is fine.)

It wastes water, it wastes fuel, it adds to our garbage if bagged.

What the hell are we doing?

Why am I growing a lawn in my front yard? Why am I feeding it to make it grow and hacking the shit out of it every week or two to make it "pretty?"

I propose every lawn in America be killed and turned into a rock or sand or dirt pile in order to preserve the water we DO have at this time. To reduce the amount of pesticides and other chemicals we regularly dump into our ground water.

And then I could focus on more important things like if Weiner's cock shot is real or not.

Fuckin' lawns, how do they work?

Well, ICP, they work by eating our resources for a stupid show of vanity.


Silliyak said...

They were no doubt inspired by Bill O'Reilly and his "The tide goes in, the tide goes out..." insight

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The best lawn I ever saw was entirely Irish clover. Beautifully green, spreads like wildfire, is naturally short and never needs mowing.

lunamother said...

We have no lawn. I haven't had a lawn mower in almost 20 years. We live in the woods and have "native plants" up close to the house. They look a lot like weeds.
BUT they give us a "Wildlife Habitat Tax Exemption".

Randal Graves said...

I wait to cut it just before I'd get the visit from the city beautifiers, and of course, sacrifice blonde virgins to Cthulhu in between in order for more stellar death rays.

thatgirl said...

me and one of my fellow non-Randal peons were discussing this on the way into work and she sent me this.

I'm sure this kind of thing works better in Californistan than Cincy, and it's a bit shrill and hippie, but yarrow's way nicer.

All the grass is dead in my front yard and I'm a renter in the almost-hood so I don't really have to worry about the social pressure/city citations as much as you all do.

Ricky Shambles said...

Silliyak- Science is hard!

Debra- Might need to go there.

lunamother- Thinking about that.

Randal- Yeah, me too. Nazis!

thatgirl- Seriously considering it - except for the messy "village" folks. It's scary.