I like to think that, in a bind, my viewing of videos like the one embedded below, would allow me to take control of the situation. Truth is, I haven't been in a fistfight since I was ten or so and in that one, I got my ass handed to me. Kind of. One kid bruised up his hands by repeatedly punching me in my forehead (hardest part of your skull) while the other one held me in a full nelson. I cried, both while being pummeled and then that night when I told my parents about it. You see, I was with my friend (no help) with whom I was traveling at the time. We were going with his parents to see the new Bond film, The Living Daylights. The kid who beat on me was my next-door neighbor, and I'm guessing he's in jail now. Or dead. He was sent to juvie six months after the beating because he fired his dad's gun in his backyard. We were home to hear it and watch the cops take him away.
Sorry that turned into a sad trip down Lame Ave. You know what would cheer you up? 6 minutes of ass-kicking awesome.
Democracy Customer Complaints Department
6 hours ago