Problem With Eastern Protests? Geometry!

This is Tahrir Square




This is Pearl Square



Neither appears to have straight lines or corners. I say: first geometry, then freedom!

The Republican Tax Day Teabaggin' Party!

I've written repeatedly about how out of touch Republicans are when it comes to things like technology, entertainment, and pop culture. And now, as if staging a deliberate attempt to prove themselves fools, Fox News, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity (the Teabaggin' Triumvirate) - along with their multiple conservative mouthpieces - have been billing tomorrow's myopic homage to the Boston Tea Party as a "teabagging" event.

Here are the three biggest problems from my perspective:

1. The Boston Tea Party was a revolt in response to paying taxes to England, a form of "Taxation without representation." We currently have elected representation in America.
2. As of tomorrow, revolting against taxes will actually be revolting against the George W. Bush tax structure as no federal tax (save cigs *argh*) has been enacted by President Obama.
3. UrbanDictionary.com defines Teabagging as: To have a man insert his scrotum into another person's mouth in the fashion of a teabag into a mug with an up/down (in/out) motion.

Some days I just want to jump up and down and shout in wonder: How can you be so lame?

Where were the revolts when Bush killed thousands of Americans? Where were the revolts when he spent billions and billions of our dollars on Iraq - and didn't find it necessary to put it on the books?

If you look at the pictures on the teevee concerning tomorrow, you've got a bunch of assclowns holding up signs about Obama being a socialist, blah blah Wilkow/Hannity/Beck/Limbaugh juice. So apparently they're really protesting money that they pay in taxes that they do not get back in equal share? Not quite sure as the answers can range from confused to unintelligible.

So let's put it this way: I will take these people seriously as soon as they sign a federal, legally-binding document stating that they will never touch one dollar from Unemployment, Social Security, Medicare, or Medicaid for the rest of their lives. And if they do, we will toss them into Boston Harbor. Teabagging is optional on the deportation boat.

The Lost Generation

AARP commercial (do not let that dissuade you). And because I love language, it's awesome. And inspiring.

Brent's Inauguration Photo

My friend Brent who does not have a blog or a Twitter or a website woke his ass up super early and made it to the Capitol side of the Washington Monument. One more reference and he'll get his own blogger label.

This is the image he sent me.



The reason they're staring away from the Capitol Building is that you can't see anything from that far away and the closest Jumbotron was in that direction. He said, as you'd expect, that it was amazing.

Yes, I am jealous much.

Ancient Chinese Secret ...for Destruction and, Apparently, Patriotism

Wait, what was I writing about?

Oh, yeah, let's try this:



From those lovely Brits at the Telegraph:

Satellite imagery, passed to The Daily Telegraph, shows that a substantial harbour has been built which could house a score of nuclear ballistic missile submarines and a host of aircraft carriers.

In what will be a significant challenge to US Navy dominance and to countries ringing the South China Sea, one photograph shows China’s latest 094 nuclear submarine at the base just a few hundred miles from its neighbours.

Other images show numerous warships moored to long jettys and a network of underground tunnels at the Sanya base on the southern tip of Hainan island.

I shouldn't have to say this, but there are many, many ignorant "I'm a victim" folks out there, and apparently the Chinese are just as good at misplacing aggression as rednecks are: the following tirade is focused at the powers that be, the oppressive government of China, primarily, that has nothing to do with the Chinese people, who should overthrow their oppressors.

So...Aside from the obvious arch-villain mastermind cave lair issue, let's go over the political basics one more time:

• China fucking owns us because they own a sick amount of our debt. They could shake their money-maker and cause a dip in the Dow. They shuck poison toys, smirking as they shake our hands with shit, smeared in their palms, mouthing "Whatcha gonna do?" all the while eying the vice in which they have out balls clamped.


• China has one man and one woman available for military service for every American alive. Let me say that in another way: China's standing potential army (age 18-49) is well over twice the population of the entire U.S.A., all ages. Those fit for service are just under "twice."


• Based on past diplomatic efforts of the past eight years, China can deal with Russia. Russia can deal with Iran. Iran can deal with China. Iran can deal with Venezuela. Iran can deal with North Korea. Russa can deal with North Korea. They're all kind of buddies in that they think we need to be taken down a peg.


• We really don't want to talk to any of them.

Here's a reminder in the form of a delicious Photoshop I put together a little less than a year ago:



Everyone's heard the phraseology of "America the Bully." True dat. But our world, the playground, if you will, has recently seen some kids bulk up. And they're all talking in the corner. They may not have the abilities or the technology or the know-how on their own, but they can MacGyver it if they needed to, and together the numbers are in their favor.

And the US is just kind of mindlessly, dreamily staring at the sandbox. Invested, he'd whisper, were he asked.

And it has suddenly become very quiet, but US doesn't really notice.

So when the beatdown comes, we know who'll throw the first couple punches. But when US is bent over a little, when those accosting have proven weakness beyond a reasonable doubt, who else will join in? Who will come out of the woodwork? Who else will align with a potential "new bully?" Who else will come out with baseball bats or sticks or hat pins to give a whack "because it's about time?" or "just because?"

(pause)
I think the more frightening, "reality" question is: should this paranoid thought experiment play out as proposed, how would I react? I complain about America and I try to better America and I write and I vote and I participate in activism when possible and I do all these things because I do love and want to protect the freedom to do these things of which I speak.

So if America was the object of a military, world-wide, gang rape, would I leave my wife and daughter and take all my tech savvy and voice and passion and intelligence and potential firearm acuity and strap one on and blow the fuck out of anything that actually threatened this country and all that it stands for? To make this world safe for my daughter to blog and piss and moan about what's wrong with America?

You bet your ass I would.

Just like if the zombies attack.

Fuck. I think I just got all patriotic. And maybe emotional. Not to worry; it's a feeling, not a flag or a pin or a gun, so few will actually recognize it.

Shit, I've got to get a gun.

Let's just keep this between us.

Americans and Learned Helplessness

Beginning in 1967, Martin Seligman began a series of studies that helped buck some of the generalized ideas of B.F. Skinner's behaviorism and gave rise to the phrase "learned helplessness." I'm not going to go into the details of the study; you can read it here.

Here's the basis of the experiment:

1. A dog given a periodic electrical shock and a lever to stop it can learn to use the lever and deal with it.
2. A dog given a periodic electrical shock and a lever that does nothing can learn to deal with it.
3. A dog given a random shock and no means to control that shock will fall into stressful depression which, for dogs, consists of curling up in the corner of the sometimes-electrified cage, shivering with stress, and wincing at the occasional shock. This "giving up" and "dealing with it miserably" is what is called Learned Helplessness

This I heard about back in my early college days, but not until I saw the gas prices do their magical dance over the past couple years did I bring it into relevancy.

We are the third dog. Americans. World citizens. Anyone who is not directly in power. Many of us have curled up in the corner of the cage, driving through our daily grind, making sure we have a job, not rocking the boat, just trying to stressfully survive and always, always, awaiting the next shock.

As I mentioned, this thought came to being because when I began driving, you could still find gas for under a buck a gallon. Typing it, it sounds like a fairy tale, sounds like I'm 100 years old, but it was in 1993. Fifteen years later, we're looking at gas quadrupling in price. But steady we could understand.

The gas does a dance, a random dance for those of us very normal Americans who do not have the mental window into futures trading. As it was rising, we'd see a peak of thirty cents in a week. All over the news. Then it would drop fifteen, maybe twenty. All over the news again. But the up and down introduces complacency: "Well, it's a little higher now, but at least it's not as high as it was." And we keep saying that and we keep saying that and it goes up 4 steps and down 2 and up an down. And before you know it, I'm driving to Cleveland two weeks ago and internally audibly said to myself "Wow, $3.19 isn't so bad." But six months ago people were talking gas boycott at $3.00.

Complacency.

This happens in government as well: slowly and slowly our civil liberties are evacuated and someone puts the breaks on the electrical current for a couple minutes and our tail's all wagging. Bush denies that global warming is real and suddenly says he's going to support legislation to aid global warming (details to come, of course). Our taxes go up, our insurance rates rise - but maybe not so much one year - and we're looking at a couple hundred dollars coming to us in May. This is worse than shock; it's shock and biscuits.

So what's the solution? To carry the analogy, one dog could break the leash, crash the door. But we have minders, and before a shit is taken on the floor, we're back in the cage awaiting our next shock.

No, all the dogs must break loose, surround the minders, and in one solid and strong barking voice shout "NO! No more!"

I know. Dogs can't talk. But we can.

We've been led to believe we are a government of the people, by the people, for the people, yada yada. I have yet to see that play out in truth in my lifetime. I'm guessing many of you haven't. And lest we sit around watching American Idol and the Superbowl, we never will.

Any suggestions?

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable."

-JFK

Bend the bars. Make the change.