Just Some Stuff

That guy next to me in his Pathfinder this morning that blasted ahead of me before the merge and proceeded to drive 5 mph BELOW the speed limit: dick. The woman behind me, crowding up and gesticulating? Asshole. But then I've got a dick in front and an asshole in back every day, don't I?

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Speaking of assholes, after stopping at the gastrointestinal doc yesterday and getting a prescription that made me blush*, I stopped to drop it off and with a crowd of pharm folks behind the desk, crossed my fingers and thought "Not-the-cute-girl-Not-the-cute-girl-Not-the-cute-girl- and when it was my turn, after three other techs walked by the counter, the cute girl looked at me and said "can I help you?" Ugh. She looked at the scrip for a second then looked at me and said "The wait's going to be about a half hour." "That's okay," I said, avoiding her gaze, "I'll pick it up tomorrow."

Today when I went it, I was pleased to see that the prescriptions now (because of HIPPA?) have the cover folded over so no one can see the name of what's in the bag. But it was the cute girl at the desk again. And she already knew.

[*Note: I can watch 2 girls, 1 cup without a shiver, but for some reason suppositories for minor hemorrhoids embarrasses me.]

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Linguistic pet peeves, all of which I've heard this week:

asterisk pronounced ASS-ta-rix
especially pronounced ex-SPESH-a-lee
espresso pronounced ex-PRESS-o
"It's a mute point."
"I'm taking a different tact."

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I was only lifting weights once or twice a week when they were in the basement so I moved them into my office with the logical assumption "I just don't work out that much because I'm too lazy to go to the basement." They are sitting two feet from me right now. Turns out I'm just too lazy to work out more than once or twice a week. But at least now they have my bike to keep them company and something in common to discuss.

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The Palm Pre rocks out hard. But c'mon already with the apps, developers! Oh yeah, I'm a developer. How about an app that uses your location to find nearby bars and pubs? On the list...

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It's 4:20. Since I no longer smoke pot it is time for a beer despite any work I have remaining. Didn't you know? That's the rule.

But I will leave you with How to Build a Lego Joint from www.pottube.com. Enjoy!

Ignorant Drunk Conservatives Crash Peaceful Mountain Party

It will make you sad and angry on multiple levels.



Thanks, Monkey, for getting this out.

XKCD - Wisdom Always

If you haven't heard me talk about XKCD, you're new or I haven't been talking about it enough. Self-described as "A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language," it's brilliant.

From a recent post:

More harm has been done by people panicked over societal decline than societal decline ever did.

Read it and love it and don't forget to mouse over the comic itself: extra tooltip humor!

Van Mural Wednesday: Star Wars Edition

I know you've been wanting. I know it's late.

You've already seen this phatty from the second post, but it's necessary once more:



But these are all gravy. Or butter. Or duck butter. Or mullets:







And for now, my fair star travelers, that is the extent of our voyage. I beg you enjoy your fare and wait. Until next time. When we again shall venture...

...into the van mural universe!

And don't forget to follow me on Twitter - I tweet all my posts, and most often something more, and most often something more offensive. Cheers!

A One-Legged Kid in an Ass-Kicking Contest

You might have heard that term. You might have laughed. But if that one-legged kid was Adam Bender, he'd be whoopin' the best of 'em. And that's all the snark you get from me on this one; he's awesome.

Matt Drudge's Numbers Are Bullshit

A BILLION THANKS FOR MAKING JUNE 2009 -- TOP JUNE IN DRUDGEREPORT'S 14 YEAR HISTORY! PAGE HIT 675,406,736 VIEWS FROM 129,922,878 VISITS... TRAFFIC ROSE 21% FOR MONTH OVER YEAR AGO [+39% OVER JUNE 2007]...

Matt Drudge is again dumping bullshit down the throats of his readers. While the site is popular (hell, even I visit it almost daily), the numbers he is reporting are NOT what they seem to be. And more people need to raise the call that he is duping everyone with his numbers.

I wrote pretty thoroughly about Drudge's fake numbers about a year and a half ago, so I won't get all that detailed. I will reiterate that the auto-reload and link loading in the same window is deliberately designed to inflate his metrics and mislead people into believing that he is getting much more traffic than he actually is.

(And much of the rise can be attributed to the increase of use of browsers with tabs that can let a page float [and reload] all day long.)

If you visit his site, get in and get out. Be informed about and not fooled by these engineered rankings.

And So I'm Back, From Outer Space - er, The Beach

Yes, your Ricky drought is over. I have returned from the East Coast (NC) and I'd like to talk about the beach.

The idea of the beach is an odd one to me. The beach is sand and ocean. The sand may be different colors in different parts of the world, but it's basically the same. The ocean is ...the ocean. It really doesn't change. It's big and humbling and will turn your shit into churned sand and wood and concrete in about five seconds in the right circumstance.

(NOTE: Granted, my entire career of web design could be turned into flailing electrons by a well-placed EMP, but I'm talking about the beach, damn it!)

There are people who love the beach. They would probably love any beach, but generally focus on one. And those people - the ones that get rich enough to afford it - purchase a house on the beach. And they name that house.

I'm not joking. I saw houses named Sea Therapy, Vitamin Sea, Ocean Hope, Sea Serai (sic), Julie's Dream, 3's a Charm, Bill's Place, What Happened?, The Office, and Everyone's Joy.

It's all very quaint.

And that's what made me sick.

I enjoy the beach. I can deal with it for an hour or two a day. But after that, I get burned by the sun and wonder what other lovely things I could be experiencing. So I read. Inside.

But what makes me ill is that I'm spending a bunch of money on a vacation that is basically...on the beach. We venture out to other places that are also on the beach but it is always a hot trap full of tourists.

And it is a solid mentality. People love it: House on the beach. Everything is about the beach. Or swimming. Or shopping at one of the 19,000 places you can see from your house that promises 5.99 purchases (in tiny words in tiny sections).

Those people who return to those places every year are the same ones who purchase homes and name them with non-witty monikers. And they laugh at trite commentaries and -- shit. Don't want to give it all away for you.

My ideal vacation is one of exploration of culture and exploration of geography and sitting in a pub and bartering at a market and killing an Arab. Sorry. That last one was a reference to a Cure song that was a reference to a Camus novel. Does that make me post-post-modern?

It's a wonder to sit on the beach that disappears at high tide. It's a wonder to be able to mellow out and think of nothing but what's on your mind. It's a wonder to be able to do any of the shit I just said.

Sometimes vacation can be beautiful, but not so much a vacation.

I'm still searching for solitude.