Obama's October Surprise? Them Negros and Their Reefer

I guess Drudge has it: Obama will win the election on the legalization of marijuana. You know minorities and their penchant for the chronic, right? They'll come out in droves to make it legal so all them jigaboos can blaze up right on the street, right?

I am not being hyperbolic. Here's a screenshot from Drudge today:



Note how we have a pimp-hat pic of our president with something - OMG, is that a joint? - in his hand. You know, them negroes and their reefer. That's what Drudge is saying.


But aside from my snark, we do have good news in this vein: 7 states have the shot at legalizing (somewhat) marijuana this year and further hurting the fool's errand we call The War On Drugs.

And Ohio's one of them! W00t!

So bad news:
Black people smokin' joints is still something that can polarize the stupid.

Good news:
We're getting closer to killing those stereotypes that led to the prohibition of marijuana and legalizing a substance that is not only less harmful than alcohol, but will significantly end some of our border violence by being a US product.

Cheers!

Marijuana Majority

Who thinks the legalization of marijuana is okay? Most of Americans.



Giddyup! Oh, I mean Gallup.

Maybe it's time to get government out of our lives. What was that, Republicans? You don't like marijuana or hippies and need to save about half of Americans from ...themselves? Because you know better? Maybe like a Nanny would?

Well-played, control machine. Well-played. I have some alcohol to drink now.

Facebook Marijuana - I Like Weed!

I'm conflicted.

I got an email in my inbox from Firedoglake saying the following:

Marijuana legalization has been censored by Facebook.
Facebook just banned our ads that support marijuana legalization. The social networking site says we can no longer advertise our campaign for marijuana legalization using our logo, which has a pot leaf.

We need to fight back against Facebook's censorship. Can you sign our petition protesting Facebook's unfair policy against legalization ads? We'll send the petition to Facebook and tell the media about the site's censorship of a popular political issue.

I'm as liberal as they get. I love Firedoglake. While I hardly ever smoke anymore, I love me some marijuana. And I am wholeheartedly, 100% behind any legalization efforts. Legalize it already!

But Firedoglake, I'm going to have to pass on this one. See, I've got Irish Dancer here at home. She's 14. And her and all her friends and kids much younger than her use Facebook every day.

She knows that marijuana is not addictive and not the devil because we're open as parents about the effects of drugs. She's also aware that marijuana use during teen years can negatively affect developing cognition. But that's a discussion for us to have with her as parents, and there are many more kids out there without that talk, without that openness, who are ignorant on the topic.

Our ads show marijuana leaves as part of a political campaign to change public policy. It's like telling a political candidate for office that it's unacceptable to show the candidate's face in advertising.

Hold the fucking bus, Gus. Irish Dancer could tell you that's a really shitty analogy. Here's a better one: Popping a marijuana leaf up on Facebook is like popping a leaf up in a loud, crowded theater before the premiere of Eclipse; it will go unnoticed by many, but subconsciously it'll be there. And that theater's full of kids.

And the point of the campaign is to change the fact that it's still illegal. I fully support legalization, but not with ads on Facebook. And when we're successful and we get it legalized, give me a call and we'll smoke a j and laugh about that time I was a dick 'cause I've got a kid. :)

Weed & Lesbians - Auto-Tune it!

Just watch. Hilarity.

Jesus, Green Pot, Green Lent, Fiery Pareidolia

Either I strategically postponed my Monday Jesus because of Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday or I'm a lazy son of a bitch. You decide.

Why is it that every year I completely forget that it's Ash Wednesday until I walk into the AmeriStop or UDF to pick up some beer and am entranced and almost comment to someone that they've got some shit on their forehead? Then just before what would be a horribly embarrassing moment, my brain goes "Ohhhh yeah. Some people still do that."

Weed Worship Jesus



Hey, why do these three paintings of Jesus crossing the Mexico/Texas border weigh so much? Oh, because you've got 10 lbs. of pot stuffed into the back of each one!

Stupid. What chintzy painting weighs 10 lbs? None. Even the drug-sniffing dog Cesar knew that.

Can we just legalize marijuana please? We could empty prisons, focus on real problems, people would stop stuffing the Lord with weed, and everyone else could stop pretending to be offended by it. Jesus!


Green Lent

Some folks are giving up carbon for Lent. That is so absurd it will only get this blurb. It's like only giving at Christmas. If you want to do something you know you should be doing anyway, don't use a man-made holiday to appease your deity with a faux dedicated sense of responsibility. Is baby Jesus happier if you make a pittance of an effort for 40 days or dedicate yourself to real change the whole year?


Pareidolia FAIL



Dude saw Jesus on a log in a fire. Dude apparently missed that his picture shows Jesus' huge, demonic hand emerging from the same fire.

If it was really Jesus, he'd let you pull the log out of the burning inferno with your bare hands so you could put it on Ebay. You know he would...

Van Mural Wednesday: Flowers, Peppers, and Poison

This week's Van Mural Wednesday shows that either someone loves the nature, or is celebrating the three ingredients that keep him high:



And as promised Monday or something, here's the joy brought to me by my friend Brent (Twitter - we're still working on the website thing.)



Image from Picture Is Unrelated.

Just Some Stuff

That guy next to me in his Pathfinder this morning that blasted ahead of me before the merge and proceeded to drive 5 mph BELOW the speed limit: dick. The woman behind me, crowding up and gesticulating? Asshole. But then I've got a dick in front and an asshole in back every day, don't I?

---

Speaking of assholes, after stopping at the gastrointestinal doc yesterday and getting a prescription that made me blush*, I stopped to drop it off and with a crowd of pharm folks behind the desk, crossed my fingers and thought "Not-the-cute-girl-Not-the-cute-girl-Not-the-cute-girl- and when it was my turn, after three other techs walked by the counter, the cute girl looked at me and said "can I help you?" Ugh. She looked at the scrip for a second then looked at me and said "The wait's going to be about a half hour." "That's okay," I said, avoiding her gaze, "I'll pick it up tomorrow."

Today when I went it, I was pleased to see that the prescriptions now (because of HIPPA?) have the cover folded over so no one can see the name of what's in the bag. But it was the cute girl at the desk again. And she already knew.

[*Note: I can watch 2 girls, 1 cup without a shiver, but for some reason suppositories for minor hemorrhoids embarrasses me.]

---

Linguistic pet peeves, all of which I've heard this week:

asterisk pronounced ASS-ta-rix
especially pronounced ex-SPESH-a-lee
espresso pronounced ex-PRESS-o
"It's a mute point."
"I'm taking a different tact."

---

I was only lifting weights once or twice a week when they were in the basement so I moved them into my office with the logical assumption "I just don't work out that much because I'm too lazy to go to the basement." They are sitting two feet from me right now. Turns out I'm just too lazy to work out more than once or twice a week. But at least now they have my bike to keep them company and something in common to discuss.

---

The Palm Pre rocks out hard. But c'mon already with the apps, developers! Oh yeah, I'm a developer. How about an app that uses your location to find nearby bars and pubs? On the list...

---

It's 4:20. Since I no longer smoke pot it is time for a beer despite any work I have remaining. Didn't you know? That's the rule.

But I will leave you with How to Build a Lego Joint from www.pottube.com. Enjoy!

Firefighter Gets Stoned

420 Joys: Apple IBong

Video Games - Video Game Cheat Codes - Attack of the Show

Happy 420, Marijuana Fans!

(2nd International Cannabis and Mental Health Conference Programme [PDF] Logo)

Out on errands today, I saw a state police sheriff's car sitting at the local gas station. And I knew he was there not to educate or enlighten the youth of America, but to intimidate anyone coming into the store to buy rolling papers.

Reminds me of the year I spent teaching high school. On 4/20, the staties came in about 1/2 of the way through the day, everyone was evacuated to the football field to tool around and not learn while the school was locked down and the drug-sniffing dogs were run through every building. The entertaining part of that day was explaining to other teachers what 420 was. The ironic part was that the War on Drugs for the Big 420 Show knocked every kid at that school out of class for half a day and not one arrest or find was made. Why? All the stoner kids skipped; they were at home getting high. Dur.

One day the majority and those in power will realize we're not only being stupid about policy but losing billions of dollars in potential taxes. One day marijuana will be legalized.

Until then, be informed. About today: 420 Origin Story. About the reality and progress of marijuana reform: NORML.

Allergies, "Medicine," and Bullshit

Reminds me of how my sister describes clearing a dog's anal sacks.

When I was seven or eight years old, I recall my aunt and uncle got a cat. Romeo. It was a cutie, orange, and relatively personable. It was at that time (was I really never exposed to cats before that?) when I realized I was pretty allergic to cats. Sure, the visit would start out great and I'd have good times playing with my cousins, but then, an hour and a half into it, an intense itching would begin between my chin and my Adam's apple, an itch I still get and equate with "Awww shit. Here it comes." By hour three or four, we were about ready to go, the sneezing was uncontrollable, and my eyes were itching and puffy. I took the red Sudafed, a pill I still occasionally take, and spent the 40 minute ride home zoned out, head back, sinuses draining down my throat.

Fast forward to high school where my parents finally fold and we get a dog. Bailey, an adorable beagle/collie mix. I recall the trip home from the animal shelter I spent with my head back, sinuses draining down my throat. Soon after, we got two cats, Nala and Kala. I guess it was a little rough at first, but as anyone with allergies to animals who has animals can tell you, your body gets relatively used to your own.

College afforded me my first two kitties, Dorian and Godot (English nerd!), that I still have. I guess I was allergic to them too, but I spent a lot of time in college drunk, and when you stifle your immune system, you stifle your body's response to allergens.


Godot is the puffball.

With Mrs. Shambles, we have acquired Gracie, a brindle lab/boxer/pit that is part lap dog, part goat, and part gazelle.

A short time after I met Mrs. Shambles, she convinced me to set up an appointment with an allergist. Like the eye doctor saying "Okay, now read that line without squinting," Mrs. Shambles explained to me that I constantly sniffle. And it was true. So I set off to the allergist and came home with a test result that seemed to have a lot of answers: 39 out of 41 positive results, severely allergic to dogs, very allergic to cats.

So we started with the meds, which really just displaced an almost unconscious and chronic usage of Sudafed or Benadryl. At first it was Flonase and Allegra. Allegra didn't do shit for me, so we went to Zyrtec, then discovered Alavert. Floated on that for a couple years until I started waking up in the middle of the night unable to breathe. Nocturnal asthma or some crap like that is what they called it, so about a year and a half ago I had gotten to Flonase at lunch, Loratadine (gen. Alavert) at dinner, Singulair late evening, and a Proventil inhaler when necessary.

Yesterday, my allergist said she didn't like that my breathing was not optimal in winter. So you see all that shit I just listed? We're adding Symbacort twice daily on top of all that to see how it works if in 2 weeks we knock off Singulair.

In the last 24 hours I've taken 5 different medications related to breathing and allergies. And I think it's bullshit. Part of the bullshit is that NOT ONE of those medications - as is the case with the basis of the pharmaceutical industry - is fixing the problem. They are all there to manage different aspects of a lovely cocktail of symptoms. And I've been given two other options: Allergy shots which, after several thousand dollars, may do little more than douse my symptoms a bit, or living in a bubble-like environment and getting rid of my pets and vacuuming daily and pulling my fucking hair out when The Weather Channel puts the pollen count to yellow. I know those people. I'm not those people.

We can map the human genome, program goats to make spider silk, and reinvent Britney Spears' career, but we can't address the underlying mechanism of allergies? We're still in the "schools of thought" phase with this? The most ferocious part of my being is my immune system? WTF?!?

So until the science community decides to poop sock it and level up their understanding of how this basic mechanism works, I have decided to dig into the mind-body end of things. I am a big proponent of the power of the human mind and the control, if refined and practiced, that it has over the body. I can get rid of heartburn by placing a finger on my neck where my clavicles meet; I can clear a stuffy nose in 3 minutes of concentration. Why not allergies?

I'm also attacking the psychological end. Perhaps these issues are - at least partially - psychologically based. Mental blockages, lack of flow, eddies of stagnancy that need a good cleaning. I've found a great book to help me on my way. I'll let you know how it is and how I do on my journey. Because "medicine" is not curing me, 4-5 maintenance meds is no way to live, and while remaining inebriated may have its good points, it's not really productive for my business, marriage, or liver.

Maybe marijuana would work for allergies. There are some reports about its effectiveness on skin allergies. Time may come for an unofficial study...

California Overturns Bigotry

In a monumental victory for the gay rights movement, the California Supreme Court overturned a voter-approved ban on gay marriage Thursday in a ruling that would allow same-sex couples in the nation's biggest state to tie the knot.

Domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage, the justices ruled 4-3 in striking down the ban.

This is exactly what the right wing calls "activist" judiciary, but in reality is what us educated folks call "checks and balances." Even if you vote on limiting the rights of certain individuals, our constitution - and judges serving true - will not stand for ignorance.

It's not a be-all, end-all, but a happy step in the right direction for human rights.

Now, if we could get someone to not just decriminalize but fully legalize marijuana, we'd be kicking some ass. Unfortunately, our government, in sanctimonious bullshittery (similar to "protecting marriage"), ignores all scientific data in order to spend billions in tax dollars as opposed to legalizing and accepting tax monies.

William F. Buckley on the Mothafuckin Cheeba

William F. Buckley did much more than begin the modern conservative movement on the radios.

He smoked marijuana.

Buckley famously smoked marijuana — after sailing his boat outside the U.S. territorial limits, where it would no longer be illegal. Finally at the age of 78, Buckley wrote an editorial for the National Review decrying the war on pot.

"Legal practices should be informed by realities," Buckley argued, citing 700,000 pot arrests each year, 87% of which involved only possession of small amounts. "This exercise in scrupulosity costs us $10-15 billion per year in direct expenditures alone."

But would America ever rise up and demand a change in marijuana laws?

It is happening, but ever so gradually. Two of every five Americans, according to a 2003 Zogby poll cited by Dr. Nadelmann, believe "the government should treat marijuana more or less the same way it treats alcohol: It should regulate it, control it, tax it, and make it illegal only for children". The Dutch do odd things, but here they teach us a lesson.

Buckley's position was unexpected, but it offered an honorable example of his real commitment to intellectualism. He began his essay by writing that "Conservatives pride themselves on resisting change, which is as it should be. But intelligent deference to tradition and stability can evolve into intellectual sloth and moral fanaticism, as when conservatives simply decline to look up from dogma because the effort to raise their heads and reconsider is too great."

(via BoingBoing via 10 Zen Monkeys)

Obama and the Decriminalization of Marijuana

From the Washington Post:

But as a candidate for the U.S. Senate four years ago, Mr. Obama told Illinois college students that he supported eliminating criminal penalties for marijuana use or possession, according to a videotape of a little noticed debate that was obtained by The Washington Times.

"I think we need to rethink and decriminalize our marijuana laws," Mr. Obama told an audience during a debate at Northwestern University in 2004. "But I'm not somebody who believes in legalization of marijuana." (Play video below.)


Asked about the two different answers, Mr. Obama's presidential campaign said he in fact has "always" supported decriminalizing marijuana as he answered in 2004, meaning the candidate mistakenly raised his hand during the presidential debate last fall.

I don't smoke any more, but Obama and Clinton are so similar in so many different ways, this distinction - if verified by Obama - is an important one that highlights his dedication to progressive ideals.

I don't vote until March 4th, but every piece of information matters, and I'm looking eagerly towards the Democratic Debate this evening.

Altering the Mind and the Human Condition

I am still getting hits and - surprisingly - comments on that long ago post "Marijuana Duck Duck Goose" where I blogged about a study that took the chemical in marijuana that makes you paranoid, administered it to subjects, and, surprise, it made them paranoid.

Most of the trickling comments are of the same variety as before:

- OMG, my friend smelled weed and totally went schizo!
- OMG, my friend's a doctor and gets high every day!
- OMG, pharmaceutical companies are the devil!

I'm making a generalization, not a commentary about my commenters; I love you all.

Except this one showed up in the post today:

Honestly, you kind of fail at life if you need a drug.

Based on the rest of what Anonymous had to say, I'm guessing his/her comment excludes caffine, energy drinks, nicotine, alcohol, and any OTC or pharmaceutical drug obtained and used legally with a doctor's prescription...except marijuana. Aside from the naive nearsightedness of the comment, I thought I'd take a moment to comment on the human condition and how it relates to altered consciousness.

When we are children with our first few handholds on reality, what is it we do? We alter it. We spin around until we can't stand up straight, feel sick, then do it again. We beg Mom or Dad to throw us up in the air and go down the slide 500 times because of the way it makes our tummy feel. We speed away on our bikes and get on the tallest roller coasters. We jog for the runner's high and meditate to take reality down a notch. We sleep to rejuvenate, dream to process, daydream to escape.

The legal stuff can speed us up, slow us down, numb us, and put us out, even permanently. The illegal stuff can take it a step further by altering our perception of sensory stimuli and time or simply ramping up the effects of the legal stuff.

But whether we seek enlightenment in a quiet mind or an expanded mind, whether we seek to touch God through a bag of shrooms or by speaking in tongues and dancing with snakes, whether we are looking to enhance or numb the experience of life, or are just plain addicted to the effects of a particular drug, human beings have grown tired of reality: we get it already.

And to say that anyone has "failed at life" because they have decided - for whatever reason - to lift the velvet rope, open a couple doors, and go beyond the nickel tour that comes with the ride is ignorant, naive, and sad. For the rest of us: do what you will, though you harm none, and happy exploring.

The Bastard's Bastion: Out of Context!

Larry Craig played footsie under an airport bathroom stall in the hopes of fellating some man meat, or having his meat fellated. Then, when it turned out that his courting overtures were directed towards a man of the law, in order to cover it up, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge. At least that's what the devil liberal media says. Obviously, his actions were totally taken out of context (and that's okay because the GOP has decided that under the rug and back in the closet is good enough for them - despite a conviction - good enough for America, and good enough for earmarks).

Rush Limbaugh made an outward, generalized claim that any member of the U.S. Military - past or present - who was or is against the war in Iraq is a "phony soldier" (complete transcript and audio). But this is even more of an outrage: the liberal media is not only taking it out of context but is just plain lying.

On Wednesday morning, Fox and Friends Brian Kilmeade blamed the sexualization of children on I Dream of Jeanie: "Barbara Eden lowered the bar by wearing that sexy outfit, traumatized me as a child and then every kid wore the Barbara Eden outfit, and that's when times were good." Jon Stewart poked at Brian Wednesday evening. Thursday morning, the FnF trio chuckled about how the Liberal Media has an agenda to take FOX out of context. Brian, after admitting to getting Jon Steward's "traumatizing myself" joke only after hearing it for a second time remained sheepishly silent about the previous day's comment, as those taken "out of context" are generally prone to do.

Also on Wednesday, it was revealed that when Arnold Schwarzenegger said that marijuana was not a drug, you guessed it, it was taken out of context.

Thursday, Dog the Bounty Hunter was heard (or beeped, at least) repeatedly dropping the N-bomb in a message telling his son to break up with his black girlfriend, Monique Shinnery, ironically because he doesn't want her "drunk" ass hearing him say "nigger" and going to the press (it's an ugly word and I do not hide behind euphemism). Preliminary reports emerged that the phone message was taken out of context.

None of the previous instances of heinous misinterpretation were, in fact, misinterpreted. But the right wing is slowly dissolving the idea of context as a whole. Out of context is the new black, and unless we try to counter-act this trend, context will eventually be another casualty of a dying system of accountability.

Medical Marijuana All Over Again: Ouch, that Hurts Man

Longtime readers may recall a commentary I did on medical marijuana called Marijuana Duck, Duck, Goose - Same Old Story that got picked up by Digg and all hell broke loose.

Well, I'm back with a story I snagged off Wired Science entitled A Little Marijuana Helps, but Lots May Hurt. Interesting. Can I get a summary?

Summary
Hey, you know how all those people like cancer chicks and MS guys who say that weed makes 'em feel better? Let's do a test on it! We'll take the active "it burns!" chemical from hot peppers (and, subsequently, pepper spray) - capsaicin - inject it under their skin, and get 'em high. Then we'll ask them if it hurts. Dude? Dude.

Results
After 2 minutes, no one noticed any "It burns, oh, God it burns!" difference. After 45 minutes, those who had gotten "moderately" high said it hurt less. But those who got really high said it hurt more, even though they felt much "higher."

Problems
Honestly, I'm surprised this bar-closing brainstorm of an idea warranted any merit. Much of what we know about the benefits of marijuana is the relieving of chronic pain or reinstitution of appetite.

• New Stimulus
  
  Shooting someone up with capsaicin is the physical equivalent of causing a hairline rib fracture. The problem with the way the experiment was handled was that it did not mimic one important aspect of the reason people - some of whom may never have smoked marijuana before - turn to using marijuana: unavoidable, chronic pain/nausea. The people in the study were completely healthy and introduced to a new stimulus - constant, burning pain. Then they smoked. If you're going to do a study to see if marijuana can "officially" help those with chronic pain, study people with chronic pain.


• No External Stimulus
  
  In my limited medical, partial psychological, and extensive marijuana experience, the symptoms that are known to be highly successfully ameliorated - chronic pain and lack of appetite - have one thing in common that can only be visualized or recorded if you put stoned people in front of the television: distractive stimulus.
  
  In a word: stonervision. Get someone without an appetite stoned. Sit them in a comfortable chair and monitor them and ask them how stoned they feel and if they would like a cracker, they might feel uneasy and eat a cracker or two. Get that same person stoned, sit them in the same comfy chair, and flip on South Park Season 1 (play all), you don't even have to ask them; a subtly-placed bag of Nacho Cheese Bugles will simply disappear.

My point? Don't break someone's arm, get them stoned, and call it a study on marijuana and pain. You're studying the wrong things and getting people way too stoned and asking why they're fixating on the pain. The joy of marijuana (and, in my opinion, the success it holds for millions whether in pain or stressed) is its ability of purposeful fixation. Books, television, video games, and even new places are a release, an external stimulus that can give us joy, meaning, and even reward. Paired with marijuana, these things can "make it better" for millions of people who are too concerned with pain to enjoy anything else.

There are many more variables to consider; if you're going to test it, test it right.

I Can Has Digg Hits?

I'm still reeling. No, that does not mean spinning uncontrollably in a wild dervish with a condom-sheathed plunger handle protruding from my ass. Nor does it mean I'm fishing. Or Irish dancing. This is the figurative kind of reeling.

Tuesday, my post on marijuana, the media, and psychology got picked up by Crooks and Liars in Mike's Blog Roundup. Cool. I usually get about 20 people daily feeding their brains at this mental food cart I call a blog, and the last time they linked me, I saw almost 1000 hits.

Wednesday, I noticed I had over 30 comments on the post (most ever: 12). I checked the numbers:



Ho. Lee. Shit.

Over 10,000 hits Wednesday. Over 6,000 hits yesterday. Wha happon?



I been Dugg. Here's the Digg post linking my blog to, well, lots of people. It's called BREAKING: Marijuana/Schizophrenia Study Debunked, Nobody Surprised.

Shit again. Wait. I didn't debunk anything.

Sorry, Mr. Shambles, the Internets say you do, and what the internets says, is.

Well, it did finally get me registered on Digg. And it spurned a good deal of discussion. 46 comments on my post as of now, 164 on the Digg post. Most popular topics/points:

• Legalize pot!
• OMG this guy my friend knew smelled pot at a party and now he's totally schizo.
• Marijuana has kept me sane.
• OMGLOLZ Digg <3 Liberals, hates Microsoft
• Natural medicine can cure [enter disease here] but drug companies won't make money
• I've been stoned every day for [??] years and I'm fine / have Ph.D. / own business.

A nice, broad spectrum. Criticism came from readers who were obviously expecting some official debunking with research and resources to back me up. And while I am working on a journalistic piece about lead paint, paint companies, and shady lawyers, this - as most of the blog - is social and political commentary with some occasional fun images.



Best comment from Digg (cheezit9109): Wait, this is a BLOG? You fucking idiots.

The macros are mine. Was reading Live Grenades's Trek Macro post which lead me to I Can Has Cheeseburger? I was inspired.

So enjoy, and I'll see you later today with some Hannity Shennanigans.