Wealth Distribution: Ouch

It's going to hurt. But you need to watch.

The Face of Conservatism: Dead Kids Are Funny

From this piece of foul bloggery:

One would have to have a heart of stone to fail to be amused by the death of this little punk:

A 65-year-old man who was knocked off his bicycle by three teenagers on a Pennsylvania trail shot two of them, killing one, police said according to reports. The Reading Eagle newspaper said the wounded teen, 16, was taken to hospital and the third, aged 15, was taken in for questioning and was later committed to a youth center.... According to police, the 65-year-old was riding his bicycle when the teens knocked him to the ground, the station said. Police said two teens then assaulted the man, who drew his gun and shot them.

What a pity that's not on YouTube. Can you imagine the expression on the face of the dying little prick? One moment, he thinks he's a happy-slapping bad ass impressing his friends with a little casual assault-and-battery and the very next moment, it's game over. For good. Way to go, tough guy.

Concealed carry is certainly one of the more effective means of teaching the little bastards to show the elderly at least a modicum of respect.

Unfortunately, it speaks for itself.

Shitty 55-year Old Rapper Asks: U Livin De Life?

And he's generally untalented, but he does have the money to be untalented, so I guess there's a message here?

Miller Lite Thunder Thighs!

So I was on Pandora today and when it stopped after my Death Cab and I went to the window to click Yes, I'm Still Listening, I saw this:



Haha, okay, so silly Miller Lite - OH MY GOD! What in the name of all things holy?! From whence comes the flesh, woman? Whence?

Because I saw this:




...so. Either my graphics background kicked in or I've got a thing for ladies with giant, muscular thighs. Or, something.

People Teeth in a Fish

This is a sheephead.



Aah! People teeth!

Jayherrod1 & Selena Gomez

Thank you Tosh.0 for the horror that is Jay Herrod.



This is tame. Visit his page to see all 63 videos covering topics from more Selena Gomez to politics to his most recent video [kinda NSFW], in which he appears to be wearing just a loose skirt, announcing his appearance at an Austin, TX club to do a sexy birthday strip tease.

I apologize in advance. But it's a bad you have to experience.



Seriously, dude. WTF?

Sarah Palin Battle Hymn

This will pain your heart, soul, and mind. I'm sorry, but it must be seen.

She's a cold blast from Alaska
Ingrained with common sense
She's not a Harvard lawyer
But she knew what the Founders meant
A cold blast from the north
That freezes Congress in their tracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back

[Chorus]
Sarah Palin, she won't listen to their bunk
Sarah Palin's comin' south to hunt some skunk
Sarah Palin, she'll throw them all in jail
And when she gets to Washington
It'll be cold as hell

Sarah has the wisdom
To walk through an open door
She is stomping out the wretches
Where the evil lines are stored
She will scrub the floors and sweep the riff raff into cracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back

[Chorus]

[Spoken]
Congress patted themselves on the back
For some new bill they just passed
I watch as my freedom slowly runs through an hourglass
They think they spend our money better than we do
But they can talk until they're blue and old
'Cause if they ever gave us anything
They always wanted something in return
Sarah knows.

Sarah's marching home

(h/t Crooks & Liars)


YouTube says our vocalist is Gary McVay, which might be the owner of Gloryland Recording Studio and while I'm guessing it's not, wouldn't it be funny if writer Tom Dempsey way actually MO State Senator Tom Dempsey?


UPDATE: If you want to see some crazy, check out Ralph's comment. If you want to see a whole tub of batshit nutty going back to '06, click the link to his blog. It's not gimmicky or infuriating, simply incoherent insanity.

MF'ing Tea Party Represent!

On some of my forum lists, I get some crazy right-wing folks that rebut everything bad about the Tea Party or the GOP in general with "it's a left-wing plot" or "well, [insert Democrat name here] did something similar." But we're going to the polls on Tuesday. All of us. And here's a list, albeit small (comments about crazy I missed welcome - I will update). This is why the Tea Party scares the shit out of me:

• Rand Paul supporters stop on the head of a female protestor - stomper identified as Rand's campaign coordinator. Rand himself has stated that he wouldn't have voted for the 1964 Civil Rights Act and wants to abolish the Americans with Disabilities Act.
• Juan Williams was fired from NPR for compromising his integrity as a journalist. His other sealed deal was at FOX News. NPR Received a bomb threat.
• Glenn Beck inspired wannabe domestic terrorist Byron Williams who went to California to kill members of the ACLU and Tides foundation.
• Glenn Beck attacked Kathy Tate-Bradish from the League of Women Voters for not being enthusiastic about reciting the pledge (because it was not included in the fomal debate format agreed to by candidates beforehand) at a debate with candidates from 8th District in Illinois. She has since recieved death threats now being investigated by the FBI.
• Sharron Angle believes in the complete banning of abortion. In cases of rape or incest, she believes if pregnancy occurs it is part of God's plan and lemonade should be made out of such lemons. She once spoke out against flouride as a communist plot and suggested support for making alcohol illegal as recently as February of this year. She believes it is unacceptable and wrong for both parents to actually hold jobs simultaneously. She continues to use stereotypical images of scary Mexicans (one proven to be a stolen stock photo of Mexicans in Mexico) to drive her campaign.
• Christine O'Donnell had some experience with witchcraft years ago. While I don't find a problem with that, I do find a problem with every ultra-Christian sweeping it under the rug when - were she a Democrat - it would be open season on "How Christian is She?" She was filmed in the mid-90's for MTV speaking out against masturbation. In her last debate, she repeatedly voiced a lack of understanding of the meaning (and existence and location) of what is commonly known as the separation of church and state. She was unclear on which Amendments to the constitution she might want to repeal saying "I’m sorry, I didn’t bring my Constitution with me." She also is apparently unable to name even one Democratic Senator.
• The Tea Party Nation thinks there is only one Muslim member of congress (K. Ellison) and that he's not just a Muslim but supports terrorists. Kareem Abdul Jabar was not contacted for comment.
• Ken Buck, running in Colorado, says "I disagree strongly with the concept of separation of church and state. It was not written into the Constitution." He has said he wants to get rid of the Department of Energy and gut the Department of Education. He agrees with Sharron Angle on rape and incest.
• Joe Miller, running in Alaska, talks about privatizing social security and medicare. Agrees with total abortion banning despite rapre or incest, wants to kill the Dept. of Education, and thinks unemployment benefits are not "constitutionally authorized." He illegally used government computers for political purposes, lied about it, lied about it again, then, cornered, admitted it and resigned. (Wait, are they changing the state motto to "Alaska is for Quitters"?)
• (FYI, imagine a world where Bush the Lesser succeeded in privatizing social security, as was a well-spoken goal, just before the downturn)
• Stephen Broden, running for Congress in Texas, said that if the GOP doesn't take the win, then the violence option "is on the table," saying "we have a right to get rid of that government and to get rid of it by any means necessary."
• As to violence, locally Rep. Driehaus was threatened when his home address by a right-wing blogger - after a reported death threat. Oops! Rep. Tom Perriello's (D-VA) brother's address was posted by a Tea Party blogger (potentially out of ignorance) and the gas line outside his house was cut. Nine members of the "Hutaree militia," reportedly associated with a radical right-wing patriot movement, were arrested for planning a government overthrow. Rep. Raul Grijalva (D-Ariz.) said in a statement he shut down his Yuma district office after staff members discovered a bullet had shattered a window there. Authorities said U.S. Judge Susan Bolton received hundreds of threats at her downtown Phoenix court offices after issuing the injunction.

So it appears violence is accepted, bloody revolt is hinted at, the strength of someone's Christian faith will only be measured if you're a Democrat, every Muslim is a Satanic Terrorist, science isn't science if it hinders oil corporations, and some other things that can only be described by a reasonable society as crazy are in full effect.

Scarier: some of these people are going to win.

Scarier even: These are examples. There is no broad brush. The Tea Party is all over the map on policy and intensity and the RNC is treating this schizophrenic pit bull like a lap dog. It's going to bite.

My only solace in Republican winnings on Tuesday is that America is fickle, more and more fickle and responsive as time goes on and attention spans drop off like a Republican's pants in an airport bathroom stall. 2 years ago America shouted "Republicans suck!" And now, because of that attention span and Republican obstructionism, they're saying "Change is good, but not fast enough!"

Let them take it on Tuesday. They America will see the plan-less suckshit in full effect. And with a condensing attention span and no reliable candidates, they'll be done in 2012.

Fear of Heights?

Watch this - in full screen - then go vomit and mop the sweat off your face and hands and feet and neck...

Phase Dreaming?

I didn't do any research on this, but have you ever had a night of sleep like a surreal nightmare that bled into the real world and vice versa all night long? And no matter how awake you got in the middle of the night you couldn't break it? Yeah, weird.

(Note: I had one night when I woke at 5 or 6 and my nightlight was out and I saw angels - dozens of them, about 9 inches tall - floating around the room. Earliest memory. But I don't consider this the same thing.)

(Note 2: This is kinda long an rambling; don't feel bad to skip it, though it's fucking weird.)



The first time I remember experiencing this, I was probably 10 or so and my dad took me to see a Kent State basketball game. First basketball game I'd ever been to. And it was cool: the cheering, the screaming, the little pom-pom on a stick we got when we entered.

And then I got home and tried to get to bed and a little while later awoke - in the game. It wasn't anything as rational as if I were a player or in the audience, but all at the same time. My top bunk was simultaneously the court and the arena and the few square yards a player was making a jump shot. I was awake, but aware of the vivid, immersive dream I'd just awoken from - and could not let go of. I audibly heard the echoes of of the crowd and the squeaks on the court and all the chaos of noise and - if I remember correctly - caught visual glimpses. I closed my eyes, curled up, tried to make the insanity of it disappear. Then I'd fall into the same dream, then wake up. 3-5 times in one night, always the same. Once or twice I walked out of the room, to the hallway, the bathroom, thinking it would help. It didn't.

And the next day I was fine.

About a year later, I had another phase dream, but much more terrifying because it was so quiet. Imagine those "graboids" from Tremors, but about 12 feet fat and 80 feet long. Now imagine there are thousands of them, dead, rows, stacked 2-3 high on the right and left like hot dogs on a plate, ends pointed at you. Okay, I'll draw a shitty picture.



I tend to stay down the middle, but sometimes, climb the dead husks, which are huge, smelly, dripping, decaying, and covered by ash like everything else. The rows go on forever. This was about 2 years before the movie Tremors came out.

And I'd wake up and still see it and try just to go back to sleep, but it was the same dream, except this one was paired with something so abstract I cannot draw it accurately (even poorly). I can only describe it as a blue, wooden-plank swing going back and forth, back and forth, with some association with the number 1, a penny, and water. Those two were always together, one or the other, and they ran multiple evenings in my childhood around there. I'd wake up and sit in the hallway for hours, not wanting to wake my parents - because what do you say? "Some abstract concept I can't even describe in words is following me from my dreams." - but never being able to shake the phasing of it during the evening hours.

Eventually, I'd fall asleep long enough and the morning would come and it would be gone.

And I haven't had that - maybe vaguely remember once - since that time, about 20 years ago.


So I'm reminded about all this because of last night. I had a series of dreams which, in no particular order, happened like this:

I'm in a high end comic shop and am pushed through a Victorian book to a medium-sized dark mansion full of puzzles controlled by a young girl, probably 11, angry and demonic. I'm made to study the book and run errands to find these things while her younger sister - probably 4 - bounces around excited she has a playmate. Only her younger sister is actually a cracked-faced porcelain doll and I think "I've got to get out of here." I recall escaping and hugging the proprietor of the shop.

I'm at a camping retreat where I'm hanging out with (either or) my brother / best HS friend, and we're with a family that's kind of familiar and I keep panicking because I need to leave and need to go and the family keeps making things more comfortable and making time disappear and I see what they're doing in keeping me there, offering us drinks, relaxation, and it shouldn't be malicious, but it's looking that way which merges into...

I'm hanging out with my brother in a garage / junkyard and this guy is hanging out with us - skinny, weasely guy and he wants us there, keeps threatening us with a knife or something and at one point he goes to check something out and I grab my brother's arm and say "Run!"

I'm a car and sometimes a person driving/walking an odd concrete path under a dilapidated bridge several stories above us, water everywhere, very wind-y with juttings of natural rock coming up to mess up the path. Two men - mid 50's - ahead of me look back and say "it's something, huh?" and I gun it, almost running into a rock. "Woah," one of them says. "Take your time. You want to go that way." And I turn and move to the dock to be with my extended family and my cousin is on a boat passing us and I think "Good for him" while the rest of the family is sad he's not coming with us.

It's Christmas and there should be presents - are there presents? - but it's old carpet and damp and stale everywhere and where is everyone?

And in between an sometimes interrupting those phases, I would awake, and I was still there, still hearing the people, still hearing the noises, and wanting to shake it, but not really aware that I could. I honestly could've gotten up and walked to the bathroom and turned on the light and splashed my face. But part of me didn't know I could and part of me was afraid of leaving the bed.

And then it was morning and the alarm went off and the bits of sleep wore off and I got up and made coffee for the day.

But even then I had this lingering fog. Obviously, it allowed me to remember bits of several dreams. And I think it went away. For now, I guess.

So, um, anyone read this far and ever experience or hear of something like this?

Mosque in Short: Constitution!

The Framers or Founding Fathers found it completely appropriate to guarantee all Americans the right to freedom of religion. There was no asterisk.

Hell, freedom of religion predates even the Constitution. Amendment 1, however, reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And that Amendment, like many others, is there for a very specific reason: to guarantee the rights of the minority in light of a majority who disagrees with that right. Hell, the Village of Skokie, IL (60% Jewish) got punked on their sensibilities because it was dwarfed by the Nazis to march in their town - so said the Supreme Court.

The survivors and those who lost loved ones are split. New York is split. But it is simply an issue of Constitutional law. And when it comes to Constitutional law, the Right is all about interpreting things in a new and creative way with supporting documents that are not the Constitution. But when it comes to the direct wording of the Constitution itself, they're at a loss.

This is a straw man, a "patriotic" pissing contest in the lead to an election. Mosques already exist 4 and 12 blocks from "sacred ground" - strip clubs and bookies and sex shops abound in that area as well.

And as Justin Mustian put it, "In fairness, we've been building 'ground zeros' near Iraqi mosques since March 2003."

I think this is a band of rabid conservatives, grasping onto whatever they can because they have no platform or ideas of their own. Their mantra since Obama was elected has been "Obama, you been bad!" (Goonies reference) And they've had nothing else to work with because they've spent every last breath on killing progress as opposed to creating it, killing legislation (that would be good for them and their constituents!) as opposed to proposing other ideas, and just drinking more and more Kool-Aid from the Right end of the AM band with the sole purpose of pissing on a black man from atop their mansions.

I'll deal with the "other"-ing of Obama in a different post. But be aware: The right has successfully positioned our president as a Muslim terrorist, and millions of Americans religiously feed on that tripe. And they have guns.

God bless America.

Juggalo Season Again!?

You may recall this post and video from last year around this time. Yes, that's correct: it's Juggalo Season. Again.

For those of you way out of the loop and not willing to click, Juggalos are a social scene wrapped around the music of hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse. They drink Faygo and some paint their faces like clowns. Scary clowns.

Well, at the just-past Gathering of the Juggalos this year, Tila Tequila (who apparently sings?!) decided to lay her rhythms on the Juggalos. They did not like it and pelted her with bottles and rocks, then chasing her to her trailer, which they rocked and broke out windows.



Oh, and for the record, they fucked up Method Man too :(

Ah, Juggalos.


UPDATE: From AV Club - "Excessive makeup, grating voices, oversharing of all things gross: The Kardashians are the new Juggalos."

Ah, Kardashians.

Hamsters Are Scary, KIA!

This is the new commercial from KIA. Featuring Hamsters.



It raped my eyes. CGI bringing Furry realities to us is not good use of technology. It is terrifying to us and just encouraging them. There are people jerking off to this!

Fuck you, KIA.

(okay, it was a little cool because I love advances in CGI)

Internets: What is Odd?

Today's word is "odd." Let's see what the internets thinks, shall we?



If your glasses are odd and they reflect personality...what you sayin' 'bout my personality? I can guarantee with glasses like that her mouth opens much wider that it looks. And she's got little teeth ;)




Wait, if he catches it? So my personal enjoyment is based on the aptitude of a metal frog automaton that runs on 2 D batteries? That doesn't sound like fun. But I bet it's loud!




Yeah, totally odd. I didn't think they made Buick convertibles in the 80's.




Very odd. If you're going to go to that extent, might as well make it a SleepNumber. And must you wear platforms and have a Kid 'n' Play haircut to sleep in one?




Odd, I didn't know Gary Coleman and Dana Plato were an item.


So there's your odd for the week. Now get off my lawn!