Tragedy in Orlando: Bars, Blame, and Bullshit

Trump says the Orlando shooter was born in Afghan, and revved up the media with a renewed dedication to keeping out the Muslim immigrants. Bullshit. This was a natural-born American man.


Some people are calling for confiscation of weapons of anyone under investigation by the FBI or on the No Fly list. Bullshit. I'm liberal as hell, but that would be an insane infringement on rights, not to mention easily and often abused. Besides, after several interviews, the FBI cleared Omar Mateen and he was removed from the watch and no fly lists.


[That said, holy shitballs did you see the piece Omar was packing?


Sig Sauer MCX

SIG SAUER developed the MCX rifle for America’s special forces. Their goal: a firearm that’s as quiet as an MP5, as deadly as an AK-47, and more modular than anything ever designed.

So, uh, maybe that weapon shouldn't be commercially available.]


Many, many conservatives are dredging the river again for the "Obama won't say Islamic Terrorism!" And that's bullshit. Obama is passive-aggressive trolling here. ISIS is all "Hey, we're The Islamic State!" and Obama grins and says "nope." He's not afraid to call it what it is, or catering to the PC crowd, he's refusing to give any legitimacy to ISIS by not recognizing what they are doing as Muslim in nature. Somehow, the conservative internet brigade that regularly incorporates mild invective with "The Democrat Party" and "Moslem" doesn't get that.

And speaking of insane bullshit and anti-anything-Obama-says, a Missouri county has refused to fly their flags at half mast. Grumble grumble Obama sucks. Hey, let's pull out the Flag Code and be dicks about a tragedy because Obama and gays.


This was a horrible tragedy, but the emerging story appears to be that American-born Omar Mateen was a very conflicted individual. He was Muslim with a hard homosexual lean. And he hated it, hated it in himself, and in that conflict found vindication for his hate in some radical online materials. He gave a shout-out to ISIS through 911, as a cry for help or attention or both. Of course, ISIS saw the carnage and was like "Ooh, yeah, that's all us, man! We totally had a part in that!"

This is not about immigrants because Omar was born here. This is not about Islam because religion was a bystander to rage. This isn't about terrorism because it was not an act planned to create fear for an agenda. And this isn't about guns or laws because there is literally no rational policy or legislation that could have been in place that would have stopped this from happening.

If anything, this is about the stigma and taboo our society still places on homosexuality. Despite a victory for same sex marriage, our society as a whole is still sopping with hate and fear and ignorance when it comes to the LGBT community. Perhaps if Omar felt comfortable in the world around him, felt at home with what was inside, a calm would have taken root instead of his ultimate decision. And that's the fault of his religion - most religions - and lingering ignorance and, in some way, every single one of us.

Be peaceful.

Tea Party - American Taliban (The Newsroom Clip)

Worth every second because it's so concise.

Taliban Tea Party!

Personal: Homeland Security Laws Suck

Main Point: Under Homeland security law, if your passport will expire in less than 90 days, you will NOT be allowed to travel internationally.

This afternoon, I drove Mrs. Shambles to the airport so she could go to France to visit her good friend's mother who was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. After viewing her passport, they said "Sorry, we can't let you on the plane." Her passport will expire in 82 days.

I went back to pick her up.

Through much phone calling and double-checking we found out that it is a law under Homeland Security: If your passport will expire within 90 days, you will not be allowed to travel internationally. France says: no problem; your passport is valid. Belgium agrees.

But how does anyone know that? Do they post an alert when you buy your ticket? NO. Is there a common understanding that something you pay the government to license you for for 10 years is NOT honored for the last 90 days of that license? NO. Passports are good for 10 years, so when this law was enacted, were all passport holders who would be affected by this law alerted to this new policy? NO.

So WTF? Isn't Homeland Security's plan of "security" to keep dangerous people out? How the hell does it keep our country safer by making my wife - trying to visit a dear, ill friend - inside the USA?

Dear Washington: This is case in point of why Americans don't trust bullshit laws and Washington, D.C. in general. You create a law and don't tell anyone and don't back it with anything but a wall - the airlines don't prevent you from purchasing a ticket or ask you for your passport expiration or even have a pop-up warning that this is a LAW.

I'd guess that it actually ended up as a rider to boost revenue by 90 days.

I want a check for a 90 day pro-rate. Assholes.

Conservative America Reacts (pt.1, I'm sure)

Osama bin Laden is dead. The USA killed him. We have his body (well, the USA, not, like, at my house).

Pretty sweet news, and while I think Obama should get the cred (as Bush had so many years to do so), I'm expecting a flush of Fox cred for Bush for this as though he were still prez and #winning.

But almost 2 hours after the announcement, and I've been living on the TV and Twitter and FB and someone I follow posted this (I reversed it from the bottom-up feed, so the top was written first - less than 10 minutes from the second).



Shit, man. Is this - WTF? This is your first seal, readers. While knee-jerk reaction is "Obama wins!" it just means it has to get even uglier for them to properly defame him. Strap in. It gonna get stupid(er).

Sarah Palin Battle Hymn

This will pain your heart, soul, and mind. I'm sorry, but it must be seen.

She's a cold blast from Alaska
Ingrained with common sense
She's not a Harvard lawyer
But she knew what the Founders meant
A cold blast from the north
That freezes Congress in their tracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back

[Chorus]
Sarah Palin, she won't listen to their bunk
Sarah Palin's comin' south to hunt some skunk
Sarah Palin, she'll throw them all in jail
And when she gets to Washington
It'll be cold as hell

Sarah has the wisdom
To walk through an open door
She is stomping out the wretches
Where the evil lines are stored
She will scrub the floors and sweep the riff raff into cracks
With God and the Tea Party
She's gonna take it back

[Chorus]

[Spoken]
Congress patted themselves on the back
For some new bill they just passed
I watch as my freedom slowly runs through an hourglass
They think they spend our money better than we do
But they can talk until they're blue and old
'Cause if they ever gave us anything
They always wanted something in return
Sarah knows.

Sarah's marching home

(h/t Crooks & Liars)


YouTube says our vocalist is Gary McVay, which might be the owner of Gloryland Recording Studio and while I'm guessing it's not, wouldn't it be funny if writer Tom Dempsey way actually MO State Senator Tom Dempsey?


UPDATE: If you want to see some crazy, check out Ralph's comment. If you want to see a whole tub of batshit nutty going back to '06, click the link to his blog. It's not gimmicky or infuriating, simply incoherent insanity.

MF'ing Tea Party Represent!

On some of my forum lists, I get some crazy right-wing folks that rebut everything bad about the Tea Party or the GOP in general with "it's a left-wing plot" or "well, [insert Democrat name here] did something similar." But we're going to the polls on Tuesday. All of us. And here's a list, albeit small (comments about crazy I missed welcome - I will update). This is why the Tea Party scares the shit out of me:

• Rand Paul supporters stop on the head of a female protestor - stomper identified as Rand's campaign coordinator. Rand himself has stated that he wouldn't have voted for the 1964 Civil Rights Act and wants to abolish the Americans with Disabilities Act.
• Juan Williams was fired from NPR for compromising his integrity as a journalist. His other sealed deal was at FOX News. NPR Received a bomb threat.
• Glenn Beck inspired wannabe domestic terrorist Byron Williams who went to California to kill members of the ACLU and Tides foundation.
• Glenn Beck attacked Kathy Tate-Bradish from the League of Women Voters for not being enthusiastic about reciting the pledge (because it was not included in the fomal debate format agreed to by candidates beforehand) at a debate with candidates from 8th District in Illinois. She has since recieved death threats now being investigated by the FBI.
• Sharron Angle believes in the complete banning of abortion. In cases of rape or incest, she believes if pregnancy occurs it is part of God's plan and lemonade should be made out of such lemons. She once spoke out against flouride as a communist plot and suggested support for making alcohol illegal as recently as February of this year. She believes it is unacceptable and wrong for both parents to actually hold jobs simultaneously. She continues to use stereotypical images of scary Mexicans (one proven to be a stolen stock photo of Mexicans in Mexico) to drive her campaign.
• Christine O'Donnell had some experience with witchcraft years ago. While I don't find a problem with that, I do find a problem with every ultra-Christian sweeping it under the rug when - were she a Democrat - it would be open season on "How Christian is She?" She was filmed in the mid-90's for MTV speaking out against masturbation. In her last debate, she repeatedly voiced a lack of understanding of the meaning (and existence and location) of what is commonly known as the separation of church and state. She was unclear on which Amendments to the constitution she might want to repeal saying "I’m sorry, I didn’t bring my Constitution with me." She also is apparently unable to name even one Democratic Senator.
• The Tea Party Nation thinks there is only one Muslim member of congress (K. Ellison) and that he's not just a Muslim but supports terrorists. Kareem Abdul Jabar was not contacted for comment.
• Ken Buck, running in Colorado, says "I disagree strongly with the concept of separation of church and state. It was not written into the Constitution." He has said he wants to get rid of the Department of Energy and gut the Department of Education. He agrees with Sharron Angle on rape and incest.
• Joe Miller, running in Alaska, talks about privatizing social security and medicare. Agrees with total abortion banning despite rapre or incest, wants to kill the Dept. of Education, and thinks unemployment benefits are not "constitutionally authorized." He illegally used government computers for political purposes, lied about it, lied about it again, then, cornered, admitted it and resigned. (Wait, are they changing the state motto to "Alaska is for Quitters"?)
• (FYI, imagine a world where Bush the Lesser succeeded in privatizing social security, as was a well-spoken goal, just before the downturn)
• Stephen Broden, running for Congress in Texas, said that if the GOP doesn't take the win, then the violence option "is on the table," saying "we have a right to get rid of that government and to get rid of it by any means necessary."
• As to violence, locally Rep. Driehaus was threatened when his home address by a right-wing blogger - after a reported death threat. Oops! Rep. Tom Perriello's (D-VA) brother's address was posted by a Tea Party blogger (potentially out of ignorance) and the gas line outside his house was cut. Nine members of the "Hutaree militia," reportedly associated with a radical right-wing patriot movement, were arrested for planning a government overthrow. Rep. Raul Grijalva (D-Ariz.) said in a statement he shut down his Yuma district office after staff members discovered a bullet had shattered a window there. Authorities said U.S. Judge Susan Bolton received hundreds of threats at her downtown Phoenix court offices after issuing the injunction.

So it appears violence is accepted, bloody revolt is hinted at, the strength of someone's Christian faith will only be measured if you're a Democrat, every Muslim is a Satanic Terrorist, science isn't science if it hinders oil corporations, and some other things that can only be described by a reasonable society as crazy are in full effect.

Scarier: some of these people are going to win.

Scarier even: These are examples. There is no broad brush. The Tea Party is all over the map on policy and intensity and the RNC is treating this schizophrenic pit bull like a lap dog. It's going to bite.

My only solace in Republican winnings on Tuesday is that America is fickle, more and more fickle and responsive as time goes on and attention spans drop off like a Republican's pants in an airport bathroom stall. 2 years ago America shouted "Republicans suck!" And now, because of that attention span and Republican obstructionism, they're saying "Change is good, but not fast enough!"

Let them take it on Tuesday. They America will see the plan-less suckshit in full effect. And with a condensing attention span and no reliable candidates, they'll be done in 2012.

Terrorist Popcorn Retards Unite!

Note: I do not intend to insult retarded people, only terrorists. Thank you.

Today I was reading about the complete moron and failure of a terrorist Faisal Shahzad and how he got a life sentence in court today as a terrorist and overall bad guy.

For those of you unfamiliar with or harboring short attention spans, Faisal Shahzad (not to be confused with Fievel Mousekewitz) is the "terrorist" who filled a Range Rover with propane tanks and low-grade fertilizer and basically started the car on fire. Smoke alerted bystanders something was wrong. They snagged Fievel trying to leave the country.

~~F-Shaz~~ has a retarded knowledge of anything terrorist and a wonderful mastery over poking us Americans - verbally - in the ass. Is that what they're teaching those kids in terrorist camps these days? He is an epic FAIL in bomb-making and hurting people but was able to convince a judge - by words - that he's a terrorist, hates America, would've joined the jihad on 9/11-- this guy's a goddamned wannabe! A Poseur! He shows up to a NIN concert in '99 like Pretty Hate Machine was just released and he's the only one who's heard of it!

*groans with hands over temples*


Let's work with a hypothetical for a second, shall we?

I am a retarded terrorist. I've read all the crazy extremist stuff I could find on the internets and want to burn down America. So where do I start? Well, I rent a Range Rover (cause, seriously, who can afford that shit in this economy?) Wait, sorry. I have to rent a van because I already made the graphic and don't want to change it.

SO I rent a van and build a large cage in the back of the van lined with window screen I got from Home Depot. I hired a Hispanic to put it together. But then I had to kill him because he'd know my plan. NO! Wait, sorry, skip that Hispanic part - it complicates my plans. Say, now, I put my cage together and lined it with window screen.

...and filled it with popcorn kernels.

BUT! about halfway full (I don't know, like 400 of 800 lbs of kernels) I put a firecracker in there and I'd already twisted a really long wick on it so I could put the end of the wick out of the screen and light it after the other half of the kernels are loaded.

So now I've got a huge cage in the back of a van and I'm a crazy terrorist and I drive to The Empire State Building and park the van and light the wick and run like a crazy but stealthy madman and ...nothing happens. But I don't know that because I'm already on the way to JFK, yo!

(NOTE: Alternate version: I set a bag of Pop Secret on fire in the back of the van and run like hell!)

SO right now, I've illegally parked, been mad about the US, and ran to the airport. But when the police search my van, they find I've dropped my master plan:


Of course, the back has my name and contact information on it

SO they tag me at the airport, but they're not quite sure why yet, but it's BIG because ABCCBSNBCNAFTA are all over it and despite the fact that my logistics are completely off and any respectable terrorist could build a basic bomb - even if medicated - it doesn't matter all that much because I just scream something about "Allah!" when they apprehend me. Hey-yo! Terrorist superstar!

I mean, come on. I'm a terrorist, tried to blow some shit up, and still alive. How many of us are there? The shoe-bomber? Beause those liquid bullshit guys just had drawings and no plans. So I need to gin it up to be a legend so no one remembers I have no technical knowledge or abilities to do any real damage aside from maybe something I read on the internets and couldn't accomplish even if I were given real training.

So I say things like "I hate America" and "I wish I was with those 9-11 guys!" and I get nailed for a life sentence where someone's going to kill me in jail because I'm a terrorist and I get to be a martyr. Yayyy!

--END HYPOTHETICAL--

So this guy set a car on fire and because his intent was to harm people he gets a life sentence and a world stage to pronounce his hatred?

Seriously, why are we spending our time and money on lauding our successes over terrorism on guys like this? Why don't we do an alternate public humiliation sentence, well-advertised to promote some tool to show up and just shoot him?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy, but, well...

Wait, don't we have more important work, like finding the only 6'4" terrorist in the Middle East?

Mosque in Short: Constitution!

The Framers or Founding Fathers found it completely appropriate to guarantee all Americans the right to freedom of religion. There was no asterisk.

Hell, freedom of religion predates even the Constitution. Amendment 1, however, reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And that Amendment, like many others, is there for a very specific reason: to guarantee the rights of the minority in light of a majority who disagrees with that right. Hell, the Village of Skokie, IL (60% Jewish) got punked on their sensibilities because it was dwarfed by the Nazis to march in their town - so said the Supreme Court.

The survivors and those who lost loved ones are split. New York is split. But it is simply an issue of Constitutional law. And when it comes to Constitutional law, the Right is all about interpreting things in a new and creative way with supporting documents that are not the Constitution. But when it comes to the direct wording of the Constitution itself, they're at a loss.

This is a straw man, a "patriotic" pissing contest in the lead to an election. Mosques already exist 4 and 12 blocks from "sacred ground" - strip clubs and bookies and sex shops abound in that area as well.

And as Justin Mustian put it, "In fairness, we've been building 'ground zeros' near Iraqi mosques since March 2003."

I think this is a band of rabid conservatives, grasping onto whatever they can because they have no platform or ideas of their own. Their mantra since Obama was elected has been "Obama, you been bad!" (Goonies reference) And they've had nothing else to work with because they've spent every last breath on killing progress as opposed to creating it, killing legislation (that would be good for them and their constituents!) as opposed to proposing other ideas, and just drinking more and more Kool-Aid from the Right end of the AM band with the sole purpose of pissing on a black man from atop their mansions.

I'll deal with the "other"-ing of Obama in a different post. But be aware: The right has successfully positioned our president as a Muslim terrorist, and millions of Americans religiously feed on that tripe. And they have guns.

God bless America.

A Poor-Ass Bombing

I'm listening to the teevee right now.

They are talking about the Times Square Non-Bombing that didn't quite happen yesterday.

Is this a joke? Is it April 1?

Seriously - the goon(s) who set the whole thing up basically tried to use firecrackers to ignite propane tanks that aren't even open and bet on gas canisters to make it go "boom."

The media is (barely) using the word "amateur." I would use the word "retarded." Irish Dancer (my daughter) could probably build a more effective bomb.

My biggest worry is not that the media is reporting the "dangers" of the stupidity of what was going on but what our government is doing right now.

We may be looking at a simple, retarded version of terrorism.

We may also be looking at a retarded version of terrorism that is a purposeful misdirection. Not a good one, but something altogether different.

If I was the US Gov't, I'd be focusing on what comes next, what this might be hiding.

But I'm sure they have plenty of operatives that do that...

Ret. Lt. Allen West's Letter: Tragedy at Ft. Hood

This bad boy's been floating around the internets and inboxes all over the place. Allen West is running for congress in Florida. I find the letter unfocused and misguided, but think it needs to be read in its entirety for what it is. Let me know your thoughts.

Tragedy at Ft Hood
by Allen West
11/09/2009

Last Thursday, 13 American Soldiers were killed and another 30 wounded at a horrific mass shooting at US Army installation, Ft Hood Texas. As I watched in horror and then anger I recalled my two years of final service in the Army as a Battalion Commander at Ft Hood.

My wife and two daughters were stunned at the incident having lived on the post in family housing. A military installation, whether it is Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine, or Coast Guard, is supposed to be a safe sanctuary for our warriors and their families. It is intended to provide a home whereby our “Band of Brothers and Sisters” can find solace and bond beyond just the foxhole but as family units.

A military installation is supposed to be a place where our warriors train for war, to serve and protect our nation. On Thursday, 5 November 2009 Ft Hood became a part of the battlefield in the war against Islamic totalitarianism and state sponsored terrorism. There may be those who feel threatened by my words and would even recommend they not be uttered. To those individuals I say step aside because now is not the time for cowardice. Our country has become so paralyzed by political correctness that we have allowed a vile and determined enemy to breach what should be the safest place in America, an Army post.

We have become so politically correct that our media is more concerned about the pre-shooting stress on the shooter, Major Nidal Malik Hasan. The misplaced benevolence intending to portray him as a victim is despicable. The fact that there are some who have now created an entire new classification called, “pre-virtual vicarious Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)” is unconscionable.

This is not a “man caused disaster”. It is what it is: an Islamic jihadist attack.We have seen this before in March 2003 when a SGT Hasan of the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) threw hand grenades and opened fire into his Commanding Officer’s tent in Kuwait. We have seen the foiled attempt of Albanian Muslims who sought to attack Ft Dix, NJ.

Recently we saw a young convert to Islam named Carlos Bledsoe travel to Yemen, receive terrorist training, and return to gun down two US soldiers at a Little Rock, Arkansas Army recruiting station. We thwarted another Islamic terrorist plot in North Carolina which had US Marine Corps Base, Quantico as a target.

What have we seen done with all these prevalent trends? Nothing.
What we see are leaders paralyzed and refusing to confront the issue, Islamic terrorist infiltration into America, and possibly further into our Armed Services. Instead we have a multiculturalism and diversity syndrome on steroids.

Major Hasan should have never been transferred to Ft Hood. Moreover, he should have been administratively discharged from the Army. His previous statements, poor evaluation reports, and the fact that the FBI had him under investigation for jihadist website posting should have been sufficient proof. However, what we have is a typical liberal approach to find a victim, not the 13 and 30 but rather the poor shooter. A shooter who we hear was a great American, who loved the Army and serving his nation, and CAIR stating that his actions had nothing to do with religious belief.

We know that Major Hasan deliberately planned this episode; he did give away his possessions. He stood atop a table in the confined space of the Soldier Readiness Center shouting “Allahu Akhbar,” the same chant as the 9-11 terrorists and those we fight against overseas in the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters of operation.

No one in leadership seems willing to sound the alarm for the American people. Our Congress should suspend further action on the preposterous and unconstitutional healthcare bill and resolve the issue of “protecting the American people”.

The recent incidents in Dearborn Michigan, Boston Massachusetts, Dallas Texas, and Chicago Illinois should bear witness to the fact that we have an Islamic terrorism issue in America. And don’t have CAIR call me and try to issue a vanilla press statement: they are terrorist apologists, not a civil rights organization.

We have Saudi Arabia funding close to 80% of the mosques in the United States, one right here in South Florida, Pompano Beach. Are we building churches and synagogues in Saudi Arabia? Of course not. Because they aren’t allowed by the Saudi government. So much for peaceful coexistence.

Saudi Arabia is sponsoring radical Imams who enter into our prisons and convert young men into a virulent ideology….one resulting in four individuals wanting to destroy synagogues in New York with plastic explosives. Thank God the explosives were dummy. They are sponsoring textbooks which present Islamic centric revisionist history in our schools.
We must recognize that there is an urgent need to separate the theo-political radical Islamic ideology out of our American society. We must begin to demand surveillance of suspected Imams and mosques that are spreading hate and preaching the overthrow of our Constitutional Republic……that speech is not protected under First Amendment, it is sedition and if done by an American treason.

I make no apologies for these words, and anyone angered by them, please, go to Ft Hood and look into the eyes of the real victims. The tragedy at Ft Hood Texas did not have to happen. Consider now the feelings of those there and on every military installation in the world. Consider the feelings of the Warriors deployed into combat zones who now are concerned that their loved ones at home are in a combat zone.

Ft Hood suffered an Islamic jihadist attack, stop the denial and realize a simple point.

The reality of your enemy must become your own.

Steadfast and Loyal,
Lieutenant Colonel Allen B West (US Army, Ret)

Goddamned Ignorant People

From Think Progress:

Alexios Marakis, a Greek Orthodox priest visiting the U.S., got lost in Tampa and tried to stop and ask directions from Marine reservist Jasen D. Bruce. But instead of offering help, “Bruce struck the priest on the head with a tire iron.” The reservist believed Marakis, who spoke limited English, was an Arab terrorist. Bruce chased the priest for three blocks, “and even called 911 to say that an Arabic man tried to rob him.” According to a news release:

“During the chase, the suspect called 911 and claimed an Arabic male attempted to rob him and he was going to take him into custody,” a Tampa Police Department news release states. “When officers arrived, the suspect claimed the man was a terrorist.”

Police arrested Bruce for “aggravated battery with a deadly weapon” and are investigating whether he committed a hate crime.

Stupid is as stupid does. One of my best friends, one of them Aye-talians, fairly olive-skinned, decided to grow out his hair: beard, stache, everything. And some drunk asshole tried to get into a fight with him in a bar, calling him "Fuckin' Taliban." (Truthfully, he did look a little like Sayid Jarrah on Lost.)

So what do Greeks, Italians, and anyone else with non-pasty skin have in common? They'll get attacked by ignorant, racist assholes any day of the week. Even the day before Veteran's Day!

Of course, the same people that talk about Ft. Hood as a terrorist act will blame this idiot's reverse-terrorism hate crime on psychological damage.

Scream with me now: Arrrrrrrghhhhhhhh!

In Short: Bush Admin Double Epic Fail

Our exalted ex-prezzy W has been long railed as a goon on many accounts, but the thread that runs through Osama bin Laden wanted "Dead or Alive" and the abject failure to do either is one of my favorites.

And today we learn that no only was Bush unable to catch Mr. 9/11 by conventional methods, but that a clandestine, super-hush-hush CIA operation aimed at assassinating Al-Qaeda leaders that was at least partially active and apparently shepherded by Uncle Grumpy Dick Cheney was also unsuccessful.

Double Epic Fail.

There Was a Bat in my Shoe

These are the shoes in question


This is representative; I would not hold a wild bat.

Yesterday morning I was letting my dog in and I heard a sudden and incessant chirp-like noise followed by a brief flutter. I froze, wondering what kind of god-awful bug had made it into our home, and simultaneously spotted it: out of one of my shoes flopped a single bat wing.

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod - breathe!

I leaned over and grabbed the towel sometimes used to wipe off re-entering damp paws and as I slowly approached the shoe, towel held up half in defense, half in expectation of capture, it emerged, chirping, and took a couple fumbling flaps towards me. Like a teasing, shaking, fumbling toreador, I let out a sound that must've resembled a groaning dog and dodged the bat, which landed on the floor.

After a quick toss, a careful roll, and a short trip to the deck, I released our previous captive, who took quickly to the air.

Weirdest thing: the dog and cats were not acting weird or prodding at the shoe which - with a wild animal - I would've expected.

And the only thing I thought - and still think: dude, there was a fucking bat in my shoe.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Enemy Combatants?

So now Congress won't give Obama his $80 million to close Gitmo.

(Wait; why again does it cost $80 million to close Gitmo? As Ron Paul puts it: "A padlock costs about 10 bucks and buses are cheap.")

Well, where them terr'rists gonna live? I doan want no Osama bin Laden walkin' roun on my streets.

First off, they're not terrorists; they're enemy combatants. If we were being faithful to the Geneva Convention, they'd be called Prisoners of War. Second, they aren't being released into the wilds of Small Town America. They would go to one of our jails.

But them terr'rists could break out and come get me and my family cause they hate America cause of our freedoms.

There are about 2 million people in America's prision system at any given time. There are less than 250 detainees at Gitmo. Have you ever had an escaped convict enter your home and threaten your family?

Well, no, but they hate America cause they're terr'rists.

But I told you; they're not terrorists. Some of the people in America's prisons are actual terrorists. Like the Unabomber? Many of the other convicts are murders. They hate life. I saw a guy on Discovery the other day who was in prison at 15 and said it was his personal mission to kill as many people as he could before he died.

Aww, he's just a kid. But them terr'rists are tricky.

What about Montana? There's a prison up there that wants the terr- dang, detainees. Says it'll create over 100 jobs.

Yeah, but they'll break out and then it'll be terr'rists on our streets.

It snows a lot in Montana.

Hmmm...that might work. Snow is like poison lava to them arabs.

So we bring them?

Hell no. Osama'll kill my family. Obama- hehe. See what I did there?

Clever.

He's a Muslim, you know.

Lovely.

I really don't know exactly how to reason with anyone with an irrational fear that someone will break out of one of our prisons and specifically target them. They are retarded. Unfortunately, many of "them" are currently running the country. And a certain number will never vote yea on anything having to do with Gitmo unless it is a bill to pay for 250 bullets.

Let's just say I'm a little disappointed with the Democratic Party as a whole as of late.

Hey, Homeland Security: What the Fuck?

Perhaps you've heard of the recent release by United States Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano of a brief entitled "Rightwing Extremism: Current Economic and Political Climate Fueling Resurgence in Radicalization and Recruitment." (click here for the PDF)

Awwwshiit. What did we just do?

Now, wait a second. You may have heard the calls of the right wing radio nutters that this is classifying veterans and pro-lifers and end times bible prophecy goons as terrorists. Well, not entirely, but...yeah. It is. To be clear, the document (and I suggest you read it. Now.) defines "rightwing terrorists/extremists" as primarily hate groups and in a kickback to the 90's reminds us of Oklahoma City and (indirectly) of Waco with a nod to today's economy and a black president.
...
How about some excerpts just as a sampling?

The possible passage of new restrictions on firearms and the return of military veterans facing significant challenges reintegrating into their communities could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks.
...
The high volume of purchases and stockpiling of weapons and ammunition by rightwing extremists in anticipation of restrictions and bans in some parts of the country continue to be a primary concern to law enforcement.
...
Prominent among these themes were the militia movement’s opposition to gun control efforts, criticism of free trade agreements (particularly those with Mexico), and highlighting perceived government infringement on civil liberties as well as white supremacists’ longstanding exploitation of social issues such as abortion, inter-racial crimes, and same-sex marriage.
...
Antigovernment conspiracy theories and “end times” prophecies could motivate extremist individuals and groups to stockpile food, ammunition, and weapons. These teachings also have been linked with the radicalization of domestic extremist individuals and groups in the past, such as violent Christian Identity organizations and extremist members of the militia movement.

Okay, that's about enough.

When Bush was president, did the administration monitor "people of interest" that included just about every person who had something bad to say about the president (hey NSA guys!)? Yes. Were they dumb enough to put it all down in a document so the fucking world could jump down their throats? No. Granted, they had Patriotism on their side, so all they had to do to activate their myrmidons was issue a press release saying "Hey, if anyone - your neighbor, cousin, or mother - is doing something suspicious, it's your Patriotic Duty to report the potential threat."

My thoughts? I know; that's what you're here for.

I think Napolitano and Biden wrote this thing on 48 hours and 6 gallons of 40 proof Kamchatka Vodka and she released it on a hangover.

From an organizational perspective (coming from a degree in Writing), this is a hack job. The organization sucks, flow is non-existent, repetition is rampant, and implications/non-implications/this-is-what-we-really-meant would confuse the bejezus out of anyone.

From a political perspective, it's a bomb. It wasn't right for Bush to turn half+ of America into potential terrorists and it's not right for Obama's administration to do the same thing. It's terrifying and it's wrong. Granted, I personally believe that people that stockpile food and guns because they think Jesus is coming back to turn our Black president White are a bunch of fucking nutters. But - first off - it's their right to believe that and act on any impulse that does not harm others. Secondly, the language used here is a conversation you have in a bar when you're sure you're amongst liberal friends, not something you put to paper (or PDF in HUGE font) and release as official government policy.

I think Napolitano needs to retract the document and resign. This is a bullshit move by an administration that was running on No Bullshit, a Bushesque move by an administration promising to be different. Demonizing ...any American citizen at this point is a betrayal of that.

More Terrorism? How Low can John Go?

From last week, but caught this at Huffington (hard to keep up with all the RNC's desperate measures). This mailer went out last week from the RNC:





In case you skimmed that first image, it is a photograph of a plane in front of an airport terminal (luggage gives it away, presents plausible deniability), so framed to appear as though it is about to crash into a building, viewed from inside, people in silhouette, imagery obviously composed to evoke 9/11 and - paired with the inside - imply that Obama supports the 9/11 terrorists.

What the fuck?

John McCain's response when asked if he agreed with this mailer?

"Absolutely."



John McCain has gone from respectable but un-electable to not-so-respectable adulterer to angry, hateful war-monger to today's new low rating of sad, sorry, desperate, despicable human being. Can we get worse? Is the next step killing Americans and framing Obama?

Would you be okay with this if you'd just given the RNC some cash?

The upside, of course, is that it proves McCain is a liar about running a respectable campaign while wasting time and money on hate which, according to all his own polling, is not what anyone wants to hear. Pull up the boots and keep digging, asshole.

Kentucky Locks Up Kid for "Terroristic" Short Story

You're just going to get a straight story on this one. I've read this story 3 times and I think I get angrier every time. Fire it up in the comments. Thanks Jen!

From LEX-18:

A George Rogers Clark High School junior arrested Tuesday for making terrorist threats told LEX 18 News Thursday that the "writings" that got him arrested are being taken out of context.

Winchester police say William Poole, 18, was taken into custody Tuesday morning. Investigators say they discovered materials at Poole's home that outline possible acts of violence aimed at students, teachers, and police.

Poole told LEX 18 that the whole incident is a big misunderstanding. He claims that what his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police was a short story he wrote for English class.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Poole disputes that he was threatening anyone.

"It didn't mention nobody who lives in Clark County, didn't mention (George Rogers Clark High School), didn't mention no principal or cops, nothing,"
said Poole. "Half the people at high school know me. They know I'm not that stupid, that crazy."

On Thursday, a judge raised Poole's bond from one to five thousand dollars after prosecutors requested it, citing the seriousness of the charge.

Poole is being held at the Clark County Detention Center.

Al Jazeera in Ohio - More Hate

At a Palin rally in St. Clairsville, Ohio, Raw Story reports, Al-Jazeera, arguably one of the best news organizations in the world, got some very open footage of what many people think of as stereotypical Ohio: Obama, Muslim, negro, etc.

In defense of educated, civilized Ohioans everywhere, St. Clairsville is out in the sticks. But it's still embarrassing.

In Case Youse Forgots: Obama is a Muslim

There is a large faction of nutters out there who - despite every credible resource - believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is not an American Citizen. If you found the McCain Palin mob disturbing, I pulled this mentally challenged rant off an "Invade Iran" blog (no link, bitches!) that was hosting a version of the "Obama is Not American" video:

This is absolutely unbelievable! Everyone is running around trying to prove that this Muslim is NOT an American citizen. We don't have to prove he is not an American citizen damn it! This sorry SOB and the Democratic party have got to prove THAT HE IS AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!!! Mr. Berg has gone the extra mile...AND THEN SOME...to prove that Obama is NOT an American Citizen and therefore not eligible to run for President of The United States of America because of the fraud perpetrated on American Citizens who seem hell bent on letting this TROJAN HORSE march right into our White House with the Koran under his arm, burn our flag, destroy our bibles, tramp on our constitution and aid and abed the One World Order in their quest to destroy our country! This man went to the same schools that our worst enemies attended. He boldly acknowledges friendships with terrorists that wish to destroy our Nation and everything it represents. He repeats over and over again that he represents "Change". Hell yes he does! He intends to change our country into a Global melting pot under the Kuran! He keeps repeating that "our" economy is a "Global Problem requiring Global solutions" and his followers just keep chanting "Change! Change! Change!...instead of reading between the lines!" like ignorant children following the pied piper they march right along behind the biggest lie ever perpetrated on Americans! The man is evil incarnate people! Both he and the Democratic party refused to produce the 3 documents Berg has repeatedly requested and which any of you could easily produce! Instead he and the Democratic Party request and are provided legal immunity by the Court!They have been told they do not HAVE to produce them... Fine! But how does not "having" to produce them prove that the man IS an American Citizen? To the contrary, does that action not at least suggest that the documents CANNOT be produced because the do not exist? Ergo...the man cannot or will not prove he is an American Citizen and therefore is NOT elligible for either the office of the Senate or the Presidency of the United States of America!!!
...So file suit against the Democratic party forcing them to either provide a legitimate replacement or concede the election to the Republican candidate! Are there guns to everyones heads in the news media?
Why does Bill O'Reilly insist the man IS an American Citizen without offering more proof than the forged Birth Certificate posted on Obama's web sited? !!! This is your country people...are you just going to turn it over to a Muslim?
Good God in Heaven!...Please help us!