There Was a Bat in my Shoe

These are the shoes in question


This is representative; I would not hold a wild bat.

Yesterday morning I was letting my dog in and I heard a sudden and incessant chirp-like noise followed by a brief flutter. I froze, wondering what kind of god-awful bug had made it into our home, and simultaneously spotted it: out of one of my shoes flopped a single bat wing.

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod - breathe!

I leaned over and grabbed the towel sometimes used to wipe off re-entering damp paws and as I slowly approached the shoe, towel held up half in defense, half in expectation of capture, it emerged, chirping, and took a couple fumbling flaps towards me. Like a teasing, shaking, fumbling toreador, I let out a sound that must've resembled a groaning dog and dodged the bat, which landed on the floor.

After a quick toss, a careful roll, and a short trip to the deck, I released our previous captive, who took quickly to the air.

Weirdest thing: the dog and cats were not acting weird or prodding at the shoe which - with a wild animal - I would've expected.

And the only thing I thought - and still think: dude, there was a fucking bat in my shoe.