Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Waterworld Sees Steampunk Resurgence


Late Tuesday night, Lane Chancellor, avid steampunk aficionado and Chocobo breeder, caught the first twenty minutes of the oft-lauded Hollywood flop, Waterworld, starring Kevin Costner.

"I never knew," he said in a first-ever interview. "I'd seen it when it came out, but that was before I was totally into steampunk. It's like the movie was a story about the future - our future in loving on steampunk."

Chancellor shifted in his chair and subtly eyed his mother poking her head into the basement, wondering "what the hell's going on down there with the lights and the talking and the -"

"Shut up, mom! I'm interviewing," Lane shouted.

"Granted," he continued, "the jet-skis are piss-poor mock-ups when it comes to steampunk, but that balloon? Costner's sail rig? That's fucking hot! Steampunk gold, baby."

At which point, Chancellor waved his hand in a sad attempt at a Jedi Mind Trick, muttering "You will leave now. I have more important matters at hand," and lit the welding torch, continuing to work on his steampunk dildo. At which point I was terrified and allowed Mrs. Chancellor to pack me some cookies before I was on my way.

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