Cheese n Rice: Early Halloween!

It's not every day that the Secretary of State gets taken for a ride. But that's exactly what happened today at a meeting-slash-party in Bethlehem!

No sooner had Condoleezza Rice stooped out of the Door of Humility when everyone shouted "Surprise!" and she was in the middle of a week-early Halloween party.



Gracious as always, Ms. Rice joked that she "must've come as Secretary of State!" "And I'm Ariel Sharon!" added the lady...standing next to her. Looks like not only Jesus was born in Bethlehem - hilarity was too!

I'll tell ya, that Condoleezza is all lady and all class.

America Swindled on Own Embassy Building

From the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform:

Documents Show Extensive Flaws in Iraq Embassy Construction

Documents obtained by the Oversight Committee depict widespread defects in fire detection systems, fire service mains, fire sprinklers, fire-proof construction materials, and electrical wiring throughout the Embassy complex. Other documents implicate the Managing Partner of First Kuwaiti, the prime contractor, in an illegal kickback scheme to obtain subcontracts under the Army’s multi-billion logistical support contract.

Huh? Surely they're not talking about the U.S. Embassy in Iraq? From the official letter to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (excuse any typos - millions of dollars apparently cannot purchase the U.S. a decent character recognition software package either:

Dear Madam Secretary:
I am writing to raise new concerns about the State Department's $600 million U.S. Embassy in Iraq. On July 26,2007, the Committee held a hearing to review reports of numerous problems with the Embassy construction project. In particular, the Committee asked about allegations of substandard work by the prime contractor, First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Company, and whether problems with the fire protection systems, electrical systems, and power plant would delay the opening of the Embassy beyond its September 2007 completion
date and increase the costs to the taxpayer above the $592 million budget.

At the hearing, Maj. Gen. Charles Williams (Ret.), the Director of Overseas Building Operations (OBO) at the State Department, dismissed all of these concerns, stating emphatically:

I am pleased to report, Mr. Chairman, that the project is on schedule and on budget. We
are slated to complete the project in September of this year and personnel can begin to move into offices and residences shortly thereafter. As to project quality, OBO is proud of its employees and contractors work on this project. 'We have received numerous accolades as to the extremely high quality of construction. It is among the best that OBO has managed.

This weekend, however, it was disclosed that the Embassy construction project has gone $144 million over budget and the State Department has delayed its opening indefinitely.

We can't get a building - our main, keystone building - put together without a deadbeat contractor or a valid and accurate report on how that construction is going, but overextended troops without all the proper equipment and no end in sight are supposed to quell a 1400 year division in Islam, foster democracy, make our puppet government give a shit, and stop insurgents who continue to multiply and would gladly die specifically for a shot at the American troops, all without understanding their language(s) or culture(s).

When does the incompetence of the U.S. Government start shaking the shit out of people? Why is it taking this long?

Uncle GrumpyDick: No Love to al-Maliki

They planned it that way.


(click for bigger)

It's a bird (is it bombing us?)! It's a plane (is it bombing us?)! Oh, shit, it's worse; it's the Vice President of the United States.

Vice President Dick Cheney dropped in on Baghdad this past Wednesday, unannounced (Surprise, surprise!). unkl_grumpyDick41 (a.k.a. lonelygirl16) immediately berated the Prime Minister of Iraq, Nouri al-Maliki, from an undisclosed bunker via IM:

unkl_grumpyDick41: ur so not going on vacation
pm_almaliki50: doodz, my peepz need vacation. how bout hello?
unkl_grumpyDick41: um, ur fightin a war?
pm_almaliki50: you so started it, dick
unkl_grumpyDick41: imho, your in charge lol
pm_almaliki50: why the lolz?
unkl_grumpyDick41: im in charge, douchebag
pm_almaliki50: don't start, gD. you did this. i want fly fishing
unkl_grumpyDick41: were you goin fly fishin?
pm_almaliki50: wit u?
unkl_grumpyDick41: love you, man
pm_almaliki50: love you two
unkl_grumpyDick41: but no f****n vacation
pm_almaliki50: dick
unkl_grumpyDick41: you know it
pm_almaliki50: one day i'll make you a muslim
unkl_grumpyDick41: satan sayz no
pm_almaliki50: satan said dance
unkl_grumpyDick41: dood!!!11!! I luv clap your hands
pm_almaliki50: good shit
unkl_grumpyDick41: good shit
pm_almaliki50: so no vaca?
unkl_grumpyDick41: nada
pm_almaliki50: shiznit
unkl_grumpyDick41: wherez the vaca comin from anyway?
pm_almaliki50: from you, dad, i learned it by watching you!
unkl_grumpyDick41: omg lmao rofl
pm_almaliki50: lolz
unkl_grumpyDick41: l8r
pm_almaliki50: l8r

Maybe, if this scenario were true, maybe, if there were IMs floating around the Green Zone with jovial misspellings in spite of horror unimaginable outside the walls, there would be lolz.

We wonder why there's no peace in Iraq?

No lolz.

Support our troops. Support lolz.

And impeach the insurgents living in Washington, D.C.

Give War a Chance: State of the Union '07

CBS News has the full video of the speech.

The state of the union is... well, you decide. Bush didn't address the desire for change mandated in the shift in power last November. He said what people were thinking he was going to say, not as a broken, defeated, lame duck, but not with a great deal of conviction either. Here are some highlights as I saw them.

Greeting Pelosi
Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) was the most prominent change in the environment last night, and Bush handled it well, but not too well. He congratulated her on her distinction as the first female speaker. He went on to talk about bipartisanship. But he never linked the two. A mention of Pelosi's progress since taking office, often with a spirit that crossed the aisle to get things done might have been nice.

Faces in the Crowd
I believe the shots of the distinguished audience come in two flavors: Appropriate to the content of the president's speech and "Aww man, look at that face; take camera 4." As there is no comedy in the former, here is some of the latter.

Hillary Clinton - Early on we saw Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY). Aside from the odd Donna Reed hair flip and pearls combo, the face was striking. The slightly curled lips, the scrunched mouth, the utter look of contempt on her face combined with the slight lean and cock of the head read thusly: "You liar. You stupid bastard liar. Every thought out of your head is ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag." At least that's how I read it.

Ted Kennedy - You can't always get a laugh out of Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) like you used to. Last night was not one of those nights. Also seen early on, the man looked like a hangover in skin. His fingers on his temples, his eyes barely opened, a great grimace of anguish on his face. Based on the mathematics of drinking shifted to Ted's experience and body weight, it can be calculated that he had been drinking heavily, probably mixing beer/wine/whiskey from 10am to 4pm, caught 4 hours of sleep, and woke up as walking death.

Condoleezza Rice - Dr. Condoleezza Rice is usually a staid member of the former, boring group. But CNN got one hell of a shot of her last night. It was about halfway through the speech, and she was hunched over in such a way as to make her forehead huge, her eyes sink way the hell back into her head, and a scowl that I am beginning to believe is her "at rest" face. She looked awful. Yes, even worse than this.

To Blink or Not to Blink
The president is front and center. He's talking about the state of our union. He's addressing "important stuff." But all I could see was the Cheney/Pelosi dynamic going on in the background. It was like a morality play without the moral lesson. The first thing I noticed was Pelosi's constant, constant blinking. She was averaging over one blink per second. It was distracting. What was even more distracting about it was the contrast to Cheney. The vice president, now apparently almost completely cyborg, was blinking once every 12 to 17 seconds. This gives the value of one Cheney blink as about fifteen Pelosi blinks. Blinking means nervous; nervous can be interpreted as weakness.

Direct notes: Pelosi, stop chewing the inside of your mouth. Pretend you are on camera all the time because, for the most part, you are. Pelosi and Cheney, if you got a piece of ribeye fat caught in your meat-catcher at dinner, floss before the damn speech. Or dig it out at the table like every other red-blooded American.

Hints at Iran
I did spend a little too much time focusing on the Pelosi/Cheney dynamic, but I couldn't miss the three or more mentions of Iran as a threat. Syria was thrown in as well. Some rumors in the wind hint at us attacking Iran within the next year. Was Bush steeling us for this eventuality?

Private Citizen what?
I'm not sure I got this or just misheard it. By the look on the faces of the Joint Chiefs, they felt the same way. Did Bush really say something about bringing private citizens to Iraq? Is this to support the troops? Is this just trying to get more folks over there without the necessity of joining the armed forces? How is this different from private contracting? More to come as everyone starts digging a little deeper.

Give War a Chance
C'mon guys, really doodz. I'm tryin' here and we're really gonna win, man. Really. I just sent a bunch more guys over and more guys and weapons and bullets means more better killin' the terrorists, doesn't it? If you don't think so then maybe you're a terrorist too. Just gimmie some more time, man. Success. I'll have it for you, I just need more time. I know we've been there a while and it's only getting worse, not to mention the (shh!) civil war that may be in the works/on the way/already occurring. But more guys and private citizens and Iran's bad. God bless.

Webb's rebuttal
Let's get this out of the way: the content was fine. Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA) has relevance with a son in Iraq, he doesn't fully agree with the party line on Iraq withdrawal which gives him believability as a real person.

I'm guessing as soon as the camera was turned off, someone got their ass beat. Take a look (CBS News Video of Dem Response here). Webb's speech was slowed down. There were pregnant pauses trouncing all over the place. His head was cut off. I don't know what goon of a little intern was running things over there, but it made the whole thing ridiculous. When shooting a speaker, you give them "head room," or a little gap above their head in the shot. That was missing. And the person running the teleprompter was running things a little slow. I can understand a freshman senator's lack of formal TV time, but a good teleprompter runner can follow anyone (look how well the president came off). It seems Webb was aware of the absurdity of the situation as well because about 3/4 of the way through his eight minute speech, he started to get the "smiles." The content of his speech was not appropriate to grinning, but he was doing so. I was genuinely afraid he'd break into giggles and be unable to stop. In a way it made him more real. In a way it was unprofessional. It's only funny if it happens to the folks on SNL.

And that was the state of the State of the Union.