Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Bible: Let's Get Gay Straight

The Bible is a fantastic journey through generations of wisdom about how we should live our lives, from the Ten Commandments to Jesus' teachings. But some parts of the Bible can be a strange, meandering journey through what should or should not be done. My favorite book is Leviticus, specifically because it is often quoted by those seeking to demonize homosexuality:
Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable. (Leviticus 18:22)
Okay, so gay people are not good, ostracization is the punishment, etc. God said so, just like he handed Moses the 10 Commandments.

My favorite juxtaposition? That would be Leviticus 19:19:
Keep my decrees.
Do not mate different kinds of animals.
Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.
I don't know if different kinds of dog breeding count, but a Liger is totally off the map. Farmers should probably pay heed to the second one, violating God's law by diversifying their crops. And the third? Well, are you wearing a blend right now?

So wearing a cotton-rayon blend is on the list just under having gay sex (but it's only for men and doesn't count for women; God is either a rudimentary prude or likes girl-on-girl action).

Let's recap some more lovely quotes out of Leviticus:
Do not eat any of the fat of cattle, sheep or goats. (Leviticus 7:23)

These are the birds you are to detest and not eat because they are detestable: the eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (Leviticus 11:13-19)
Isn't a bat a mammal, and wouldn't God know that?
A woman who becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son will be ceremonially unclean for seven days, just as she is unclean during her monthly period. On the eighth day the boy is to be circumcised. Then the woman must wait thirty-three days to be purified from her bleeding. She must not touch anything sacred or go to the sanctuary until the days of her purification are over. If she gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding. (Leviticus 12:2-5)
WTF God?
Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it.
Do not practice divination or sorcery.
Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.
(Leviticus 19:26-27)
Okay, this is a little out of control, but you get the point. Evangelical Christians believe that the Bible is the literal Word of God and, specifically, in Leviticus, it is the quoted Word of God. Read the whole thing; it gets much more detailed, and would be almost impossible to follow on a daily basis.

But some Christians state that Jesus' sacrifice put all those laws and sacrifices on the back burner. They are cherry-picking the Bible. Did Jesus ever say that? No.

I have no problem with cherry-picking the Bible for the good parts that help make many people of the world better people, but if you're going to personally decide or allow your governing religious organization decide what God means and what we, as humans, should follow, then do it all or none. Either God said it or He didn't. Either every word is important or isn't. Live the way you want to, but never, never condemn others because they live differently. Treat others the way you would like to be treated and judge not, lest ye be judged. And stop turning hate into a religious family value.

And next time you proudly hold up the sign stating "God Hates Fags," check the tag on your shirt, because cotton-polyester blends are right up there. Queer.


gaijin said...

That's awesome. I always knew polyester blends were the work of the devil...

Ricky Shambles said...

Right along with those rayon-polyester-vanilla-ice shirts I wore in junior high. El Diablo on high!