Twat's Wrong with America? I'll Finger It Out.

I ran into some perplexing sex news yesterday: there's sex on Craigslist. And it's dirty, deviant gay sex.

Does the madness ever stop?

So idiot man (John J. Lake, 58, of Boston), maybe not too easy on the eyes, is looking to get some action - real action, not like the sweaty, quiet dry-humps over furry pr0n sites. He knows he's not a hottie, so he hints that there may be a monetary incentive. The cops bite and he's nailed for offering money for a blowjob.

For all things fair and comparative, I did some minor research on Craigslist locally as a source of entertainment and commentary on our society in light of the oldest of arguments against the illegality of sex for money.

In our American society, this is okay:

Lookin' to get my wang mouthified. - m4w

Ladies, I got a wang what needs mouthified. Holla.

This is okay:

NSA BJ for young dudes - m4m - 21

Lookin to suck a young 20s guy's dick. Be clean and disease free, VERY discreet, masc and in shape. Send pics :) You host, I come in, I strip you, I suck you, we part.

And even this is okay:

$1200 deal! - m4w

I am seeking a female to strip in front of me, give me a lapdance, motorboat her boobs and let me feel her whole body. I will give you 1200 dolllars for your time. Let me know and please send me a nude pic of yourself with your response i dont want to be disappointed. I might pay more.

This is America: ask, beg, and plead for sex and that is okay. Ask, beg, plead, and pay for anything short of what our antiquated legal system considers sex and that is okay. Ask, beg, and plead for sex with some monetary incentive: you get fucked. By the law.

I do realize that legalized prostitution has the potential to hurt and subjugate men and especially women, but illegal prostitution already does that, sometimes in the most vile ways. But, like the legalization of drugs would do to the dealers, legalization of prostitution could do to the same to the pimps: put them out of business. Publicity, centralized standards, and workers' rights would come into play.

I'm not saying I agree with John Lake's choice of sexual procurement, but we're putting people in jail for something that is actually legal in another state and - without the "cash-and-cum" - is legal everywhere else.

I do believe we need to get the government and the church out of our bedrooms. If you don't think they're still there, peeping in our windows and waiting to break down the door, check out the sodomy laws in the US, and understand that "sodomy," depending on the state, can refer to any sex that is not male/female vaginal intercourse.

What would Jesus do? To start with, he'd emerge from the wood paneling and forgive John Lake.

Holla.