From when I was a kid, I have a very distinctive memory of the end of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" where Gene Wilder, livid that he tried to do something good for the children, for humanity, in finding an heir, is confronted with Charlie and Grandpa Joe, eager for their prize, suggestively earned by being the last.
Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera...”Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera...”Memo bis punitor delicatum!" It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!And as a kid - during the first viewing, anyway - you suddenly realize that Charlie might not win. But while you're disappointed, you're overwhelmed by Willy Wonka's angry, stern, and - dare I say - justified - rage, because you're pissed too. Damn it, Charlie, you would've won, you could've won, but you and stupid Grandpa Joe totally fucked it up! Goddamned fizzy lifting drinks - you could've had it all!
...
I said "Good day!"
Granted, Charlie has the trump of "all goodness" in returning to Willy his Everlasting Gobstopper, manifesting the intangible promise of fidelity and absolving him of his truly minor trespass, returning to Charlie his childlike purity and making him eligible to be the Apprentice. (I know, I know. English Degree, blah blah.)
Unfortunately for this analogy, if President Bush ever had an Everlasting Gobstopper, he long ago broke it up, sold it off to Slugworth, Halliburton, et.al. for friendship or money, and lost the only part he kept. He has no Trump card, no salvation. And Olbermann says "Good day, sir!"
The president is a fucking liar, a tool, a rube who's hubris in the face of lack of intelligence has cost our country thousands of lives. But Keith says it so much more eloquently.
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