Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Notes on the Nevada Democratic Debate

The more the pool of NBC-sanctioned candidates shrinks, the more tragically boring the debates get. I'd write a mathematical equation, but let's just say that this one sucked the most so far.

Short summary: Kucinich was punked, Everybody loves each other, no one has a true weakness, Hillary uses ninja attack once, and Chris Matthews is still an asshat.

Let's itemize, shall we?
  • Kucinich drama summary: NBC says "Hey, join us!" then says "Oops, hey forget about that thing we said." Dennis sues and appeals court says "Heck yeah you should be there" and minutes before the debate the Nevada Supreme Court says "No dice." NBC should be ashamed; the American people (and maybe the other candidates?) should at least act like they care.

  • Everyone plays nice: the media-spewed race issue is no longer an issue. Yay! But toned-down issue foreshadowing of excitement level of rest of 2 hours. Boo.

  • The people will elect whomever will effect change and says No to lobbyists and everyone on stage likes each other and "I agree" and "I respect" and - can we cut the damned oral sex daisy chain and maybe discuss why one of you is better than the other?

  • Obama started the debate with his signature "Uhm"s but softened it towards Hillary's "ah" pronunciation by the end.

  • Edwards was dang proud of flapping his arms to conjure up the word "fervently." It was tremendous.

  • Edwards states that thousands of Americans come to Nevada every day to find the Promise of America. Gambling on a shot at unearned cash winnings is the American Dream? He later claims he meant people looking for work, moving to Nevada, but if population growth from 2000 to 2006 is any indication, daily average increase was a little over 200 people. So he was wrong, or he meant gambling. Or hookers.

  • John Edwards constantly wears an obnoxiously large black K-Mart watch that, in its enormity, refuses to be hidden under his clothing. What the hell?

  • Obama's greatest weakness is that he has a messy desk, Edwards cares too much, and Hillary pushes too hard. Were these answers given at a job interview, the interviewer would've replied "Okay, thanks. We'll let you know." Wait; this is a job interview.

  • Hillary takes a double whack at Obama and Edwards on Yucca Mountain, attacking like a ninja; Obama is afraid to hit a girl; Edwards attacks, but amidst cries for relevance, appears to be tossing cream pies. Yes, I just called John Edwards a clown. And yes, he amuses me.

  • Hillary is "against illegal guns." That's probably a good thing. For all things that are illegal.

  • Post debate: Chris Matthews exploded onto the screen declaring Hillary the hands-down winner, amazed at her performance, talking like she's already the Democratic candidate, and "playing on the varsity team." The rest of the MSNBC team tried to calm him down, to no avail (at least poor Olbermann didn't have to be in the same room with him this round). Why is this disaster still on television?
I was bored. I was tired. And nothing happened. As soon as one candidate picked up on a topic, the others picked up and agreed. Iraq was equalized between them on nuance, everyone's for the economy, against the current administration and all the Republican candidates. So how to decide?

Personally, I think I'm still pushing for Dennis through the primary (Kate and I are voting on the same day - how fun!), but you've got three choices.
  1. Stick to your original, gut reaction, even if they're not going to win the primary in your state.

  2. Base your choice on experience, once you define for yourself what type of experience matters and how much of that experience each candidate has.

  3. If you're looking for most presidential, while the misguided, obnoxious rantings of Matthews were unprofessional, he was not entirely off base: last night, Hillary looked and spoke like the leader, flanked by her seconds.

  4. Base your choice on the woman, the African-American, or the rich white guy who was poor as a kid.

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