Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Cicadas..Just Kidding: Politics!

So last night we were looking, waiting to see if Hillary would drop out and she said "Hells no!" Barry-O was to be graceful in supposed victory and he's all "I will be the Democratic candidate fo sho." And John McCain, completely in line with what we have all come to expect, was a lying douchebag.

Let's do a quick rehash using some demonstrative images from their respective speeches.

John McCain

John McCain Shit-Eating Grin

McCain, with his background, now apparently represents the Green Party. But the real star of the show was Smilin' John's Shit-Eating Grin. The speech itself was angering and unenlightening:
  • Democrats are baaaaad and hate America
  • I love America and won't let'em ruin it
  • Show off the wooden teeth and allow the automatons applaud
  • Rinse off the poop and repeat.
It was lack of vision, lack of substance, lack of character.

Barack Obama

Barack Obama, Presumed Nominee

Expectedly, Obama pulled the necessary delegates and the media drooled and jizzed all over the story and coverage. His speech was strong, decisive, and inspiring. And that's what got him where he is.

I guess the Obama staffers were in a rush to portray the pale white support that Obama has because - I know it's not as good a shot as the television - they had represented everything from strawberry blonde to deep auburn. That's right, Barack Obama has the full support of the redhead coalition:
Obama and the Redhead Coalition

And finally... Hillary Clinton

Hillary and her supporters

Hillary, while a bit reserved in her speech, was overshadowed by her supporters. As opposed to the Obama Redhead Alliance, she was able to pull in a few African-Americans, a questionably Indian gentleman, white men, and the token homosexual male in yellow stripes pictured here.

The best part of the entire speech was immediately after this image was taken: Mr. Flamboyant was optioned by the African-American on his left, at which time his exuberance flatlined and he mouthed "what?" His leash tightened, he was at heel within seconds.

Estimation of the conversation of Hillary supporters behind her back:
Stripes: Woohoo! Yeah! Hillary 4-ev-R!
Dignified African-American (DAA): Dude!
DAA: Dude!!!
Stripes: What?
DAA: You're on fucking national television. Behave yourself.
Stripes: Really? You're --
DAA: Do you want Hillary to lose?
DAA: Behave.
Yet Obama still wins...until the convention. Crazy bullshit in play, much politicking to go around, and Batshit McCain to spread more lies. I think we have a long way to go.

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