Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Haggard Going Down (Again)

The enchantment of dick-suckin' lips

It was almost two years ago that I batted around the Ted Haggard dirty homo meth story. Please note that Ted Haggard has opened himself up to the ridicule I ladle upon him because he is a hypocritical monster of a human being. When you're an evangelical megachurch pastor and shit grin your way to stardom by a doctrine of clean livin' and how homosexuals are going to hell and then trade drugs for gay sex and when you are caught try to shrug off culpability by saying you have a drug problem and hiding in rehab, you deserve a shitstorm of pain.

Well, it appears that our pastor cum persona non grata has another skeleton hiding in the closet with him. Looks like Haggard buggered a 20-year old male volunteer to the church. Say it ain't so, Ted.

Oh, he does. Kinda.

There was a little sumpin-sumpin going on, it came out at a low level or he knew it would come out, he met with his wife and the man to apologize for an in appropriate relationship and then the church paid the guy for moving expenses, counseling fees, and his college tuition. And Teddy bear says there was no physical contact.

Exactly. Because he was so fucking forthcoming last time. Clinton never inhaled and Haggard never swallowed. That's why there's egg on his face. Well, maybe it's not egg...

The only conclusion that can be drawn from these events, encounters, and bald-faced lies is that Ted Haggard doesn't truly, deep within his heart, believe one goddamned bit of the drivel he's been preaching for years. For if he did, he would act in such a way as one does when they have a conviction that one day they will have to answer to the God of the friggin universe for their transgressions.

Or maybe he's at peace with an eternity of hell for a little cock. Or a lot of cock - he's still young and there's a lot more tail (between the legs) to be had.

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