Monday, February 08, 2010

Jesus, Monday Already? Lindsay?

Lohan as the Lord?

Lohan Jesus

And 3...2...1 -

She turns wine into vomit and can barely walk on a waterbed. She calls her privates "fishes and loaves" and can make the cock crow 3 times before sunrise. She only said yes to crucifixion because she wanted to get nailed. She figured "spikes" either meant booze or volleyball and either was cool with her. She's really fond of Simon's Peter. She didn't call Peter "The Rock" for church-buildin'. Three days in a tomb is what she calls rehab. Born from a virgin? Travesty! She one was tempted by Satan, but turned him down because at no point did he address cock, coke, or Skyy. And yes, she was a carpenter; she's likes to work the wood.

Seriously folks. I could do this all night.

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