Meme Me a Meme: Me?

Stolen from Monkey's steal. No shame.

Hi, my name is: Ricky, sometimes known as E.
Never in my life have I been: Apprehended breaking and entering abandoned buildings.
The one person who can drive me nuts is: any assbag driving like shit with a Christian or Patriotic bumper sticker.
High school: was wonderful after I stood up to one dick bully in 10th grade.
When I’m nervous: I don't pay very good attention. What was the question?
The last song I listened to was: whatever's running on CBC Radio 3 - Canadian Indie music!
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: would be questioning whether a marriage is legal if I'm already married.
My hair is: slightly wavy and slowly thinning.
When I was 5: I could control the universe. Still can with limitations now.
Last Christmas: we played Just Dance until 5am on the Wii. Yes, alcohol was involved.
I should be..: exactly what I am right now, minus about 25 lbs.
When I look down I see: the fab desk Mrs. Shambles bought me. Yes, I'm bellied-up to it.
The happiest recent event was: the reaction of Irish Dancer getting her first cell phone.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: packing heat on the unexpected end of the series.
By this time next year: I'll be making enough in my business to hire 2 people full time.
My current gripe is: sanctimonious Republicans. Oh, you said "current?" Yeah, that's kind of always.
I have a hard time understanding: my daughter's claim of originality in a post-post-modern world.
There’s this girl I know that: needs to catch up on her DVR shows.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: Mrs. Shambles, followed by parents and siblings, who would learn of it with everyone else via Twitter and Facebook.
Take my advice: Never get stoned after shots on the way to Windsor to do some gambling. You'll end up accidentally leaving Canada after they search your car in customs. But it's a good story to tell when you get back to the bar.
The thing I want to buy: is an HDTV. And after we get the credit cards done, it's all me. 3 months or so to go.
If you visited the place I was born: you'd probably be pulling into a gas station on the end of a tow truck because your car broke down between here and there.
I plan to visit: every single place that's the slightest bit different from Ohio.
If you spent the night at my house: we'd stay up late talking, laughing, and drinking.
I’d stop my wedding if: the pit bull in the clown outfit farted (yes, you can hear dog farts despite the lack of butt cheeks).
The world could do without: so much focus on the self.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat capers.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: video games: Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime: Corruption, Devil May Cry 3. That's not counting beer.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: cheese.
My favorite blonde is: probably forgetting something.
My favorite brunette is: me.
My favorite red head is: Mrs. Shambles.
My middle name is: John.
In the morning I: wake at 5 to make coffee for the Mrs. before she goes to work, watch MSNBC as I snooze for another hour, then figure out what leftovers are best fit for breakfast.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: bears.
Once, at a bar: I was tending and drinking and took a break to heavily make out with a patron/friend on the floor of the closed dining room.
Last night I was: Are we still talking about beer?
There’s this guy I know who: always has a story better than the one I just told, but I've got him beat.
If I was an animal I’d be: feline.
A better name for me would be: Ricky. Or Hoodie. Or Henry.
Tomorrow I am: training someone on a CMS, attending a networking meeting, and probably drinking beer.
Tonight I am: having (a) beer.
My birthday is: February 16th. Did you know that 6*6*6 = 216?