Wednesday, January 26, 2011

SOTU - Beer Talk from the Peanut Gallery

Last night's SOTU was lovely. We had the prom scenario, Republicans and Democrats sitting together. We had red and blue and purple ties, and everyone clad in black/white ribbons as a show of support of rememberance of the Arizona shooting. The speech was leaked a couple hours before 9pm EST. I was watching CNN.

The following is a list of things I noticed or noted while watching and drinking beer:

The Event

  • Walking in: Jaws? I don't know who this, but he needs to fire his orthodontist.
  • Walking in: Hillary: "Great speech!" Obama: "I know; I don't even have to give it." (seriously, this was said - good job on the mics!)
  • Obama says everyone can "work together tomorrow." Everyone clap! Love-in! "This is the dawning of the age of..." Oh, but maybe he meant "Tonight: go pound salt."
  • Anyone else notice the CNN audio was over-modulated? Shouldn't this sound professional?
  • Woohoo! I love Google and Facebook! Friend me! - seriously, if he'd mentioned a Foursquare swarm, everyone would've flipped their shit.
  • Ah, Boehner. Speaker Boehner. He was wearing a red tie but then spilled merlot on it tailgating. His facial expressions gave it all away, though:
    • Mean jowl curl "Argh, oil and insurance buys my merlot!"
    • Lots of zoning out "I'm gonna drink the shit out of some merlot later."
    • Confused "But- but- what about...? Who are you? You don't know me!"
    • Nose wipe "Shouldn't have done that line with Cantor in the john. Hehe. My name's John."
  • Yes, the science fair rocks over the Superbowl (Nerds represent!), but they don't have nearly the quality of commercials.
  • South Korea teachers are called "Nation Builders." Sorry, that hints of scary nationalism.
  • "Become a teacher!" Really? Maybe when we actually look at teachers like your Ideal Goggles do. I'd lose my house before going back to teach high school in NC where I started at $23,500 minus taxes minus 10% mandatory retirement, out of pocket expenses, and requirements of time and money I don't have for "continued education" classes. Seriously, you might have well said "Ditch diggers are treated like shit. But we need ditch diggers! Become a ditch digger!"
  • $10K/yr tax credit for college tuition is going to do nothing to change the general trend of faster and higher tuition rates, a.k.a. the financial rape of college students.
  • The POTUS is 100 feet from you and you're really reading the leaked speech as its being given?
  • Nice reminder of the things government controls that might be considered socialism but are actually a good idea: speed limits and child labor laws.
  • Did the lower-third font guy take a really long shit? Actual labels for audience shots? I could count on them on one hand.
  • Napping count: 3. But I wasn't looking that hard.
  • Dear President Obama: the Taliban is a bad, bad organization. You pronounced it "Tallie Bonne" and we were wondering if that is a stage comedy, dance troupe, or candy.


Paul Ryan gave the official Republican rebuttal-- Actually, between the-- trust me, the rebuttals need their own post. Link will be here once I finish composing it.

Or composting it. Click here for the follow-up post.

1 comment:

Kay Dennison said...

I watched SOTU online from the White House. I was not impressed. I suspect that we ordinary mortals are gonna get _____ed (fill in with barbarism of choice) without so much as a kiss.

Why am I not surprised?