Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Those Dang World-Dominating Gays

As you know, homosexuals are trying to take over America and make everyone participate in a big LGBT orgy. If you don't believe it, then you better take a good look at the email I got from Human Events today including these points on the Homosexual Agenda:
*** Special job rights for homosexuals and lesbians. Businesses may have to adopt hiring quotas to protect themselves from lawsuits. Every homosexual fired or not hired becomes a potential federal civil rights lawsuit.

Radical homosexuals will terrorize day care centers, hospitals, churches and private schools. Traditional moral values will be shattered by federal law.

*** Same-sex marriages and adoptions. Wedding-gown clad men smooching before some left-wing clergy or state official is just the beginning.

You'll see men hand-in-hand skipping down to adoption centers to "pick out" a little boy for themselves.

*** Homosexual advocacy in schools. Your children or grandchildren will be taught homosexuality is moral, natural and good. High school children will learn perverted sex acts as part of "safe sex" education.

With condoms already handed out in many schools, Radical Homosexuals will have little trouble adopting today's "if it feels good do it" sex-ed curriculum to their agenda.

Still don't believe it? Check out Eugene Delgaudio's Hardy Boys tale of woe:
One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I'd heard something was up and wanted to see for myself.

As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses.

Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined.

Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling.

My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press.

Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, "Delgaudio what are you doing here?" Dozens of men began moving toward me. I'd been recognized.

As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, "This time Delgaudio we can't lose."

Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win.

Zounds! They almost had their greasy homo hands all over him!

So what is Eugene trying to get you to do? Fill out an American Morality Survey, of course. The "Public Advocate of the United State's 2010 American Morality Survey. That's right: United State's.

And when you go to the American Morality Survey, they even have it all set up so you don't even have to read any of the questions: Every one is already set to "No." How considerate!

Now, even if you are one of those secret homo-agents and decide to click "Yes" for all questions instead of "No," and fill in your information, you'll still end up on a page that says:
Dear Eugene,

I don’t support the Homosexual Agenda!

Please use my survey to prove to Congress, President Barack Obama and the media that Radical Homosexuals are lying about me! You can count on me to stand with you.

...and asks you to pay for your donation with Mastercard or Visa. Take that you faggies!

To Summarize:
If you're afraid of gay people and don't know how to emotionally deal with that and know you can't go huntin' fags and don't want to think too much, here's your way out. Just hand over your money to Eugene and he'll take care of it for you.

But remember: Public Advocate was founded as a non-profit tax-exempt educational group under section 501(c)4 of the IRC. Because Public Advocate lobbies to stop the Homosexual Agenda, contributions to Public Advocate are not tax-deductible.

And don't forget to beat your wife, watch Beck, and spit on a Mexican today!

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