Ricky Shambles Naked

No, I will not be running for president of the United States or anything else now or at any time in the future (sans, of course, President of the World, after the Apocalypse), and for that reason - I decided, in the shower yesterday, it would be a good idea - I'll be occasionally posting some personally embarrassing piece of my life that may or may not be completely humiliating or even interesting to my readers.

Raise Your What?



At about 10 or 11 years old, the word "steam" conjured up stolen images of HBO or videos at a friend's house: a couple heatedly making out, enough to cause the windows of a car to steam up. Why did I relate such words to meanings? I blame it on HBO and wavy Skinemax (yes, I snuck viewings of it wavy).

So when I was - at that age - one day helping my mother fold laundry and watching the afternoon news, I remember the TV anchor throw out the teaser before a commercial: "Learn to Raise Yourself a Steam."

"Holy crap!" I thought. "The news is going to teach me how to get it hot and heavy with the ladies!" (or whatever equally-lame way my brain processed the information). The proof came seconds later when Mom asked me to run downstairs to get something for her. "Of course - she doesn't want me to see the story," I thought, and ran like hell.

Of course, I got back upstairs in record time and when the news came back on, I learned once and forever that some people are just sad and need help raising their "self esteem" - that measure that they personally don't suck.

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So, dear readers, two questions:

Is the slice of truth, the ability to see Ricky laid out on the slab and the hammer coming down, worth the post?

Is "Ricky Shambles Naked" a nice title?

Feedback is always welcome.