Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Fun With Scams

Have you ever heard of baiting spammers?

I got this in the email today:
From:Mr.Ahmed Douglas
Private number / +226 783 479 20

Dear Friend,

This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however, it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from Burkina Faso in west Africa and currently holding the post of Director Auditing and Accounting unit of the bank. I have the opportunity of transferring the leftover funds($8.7million) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on 31 July 2000 in a plane crash. You can confirm the geniuses of the deceased death by clicking on this web site.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Hence, I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60/30 while 10% will be mapped out for expenses. If you agree to my business proposal. further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail. have a great day.

yours,
Mr.Ahmed Douglas.

I await for your urgent call trough my mobile telephone number/ +226 783 479 20

NB, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION AS YOUR TOP SECRECT AND MAKE IT CONFIDENTIAL TILL WE RECEIVES THE FUND INTO THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE TO THE BANK. DONT DISCLOSE IT TO ANY BODY "PLEASE", BECAUSE THE SECRECY OF THIS TRANSACTION IS AS WELL AS THE SUCCESS OF IT AS I AM STILL IN SERVICE.

...so I responded with:
OMG, My wife, Debbie, and I were just talking about how we need a ton of money! Debbie wants to go shoe shopping and has a small gambling habit (and a hairlip), so free money is awesome! We were just at the mall the other day and Debbie said she wanted more shoes and I said we don't have the money and she said she wanted shoes and we got into an argument and she's sleeping on the couch because I have a bad back and can't sleep on the couch. My spine's out of whack, I guess, but I don't have the money to get it checked out, let alone fixed and this is great because she'll be so excited and maybe I can get her back into our bed soon. And my back.

I am surprised! You succeeded!

I like business deals since I am a businessman and would like to conduct business deals in a business like manner. I like business. You have my top secret on the low-down assurance that we're on the same page and everything is all good. You had me at hello! LOL!

I can't call you because I don't know what that phone number means. We don't have long distance and that number looks REALLY LONG. LOL!

Talks to you soon.


Updates forthcoming.

UPDATE:

There is no update. As the tailing cops say as the bad guys hit the gas: We've been made. Either I was too outlandish, the scammer too edgy, or they didn't believe I had a wife named Debbie with a hairlip. Damn. We'll try again next time I get one and I'll post anew.

But not to leave you dry, while I do not engage these scammers every time, I do sometimes at least reply that I am not interested, as I did with this example:
The pain you cause shall be visited upon you ten fold and your penis will shrivel.



3 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Seriously, I can't wait to see if they reply.

distracted by shiny objects said...

Mum's the word. I won't tell a soul about this TOP SECERECT. Best of luck with this fabulous opportunity and your new friends.

Ricky Shambles said...

Update. Kinda.