A Retort: Guideline for Conservatives

I love getting comments. Granted, most of them are humorous or insightful bits from my regular readers. But every once in a while - every couple days or so - I get something from a conservative either (rarely) actually agreeing with something I said, (occasionally) contributing thoughtful criticism to my post, or (often) parroting Beck or Limbaugh and calling me stupid.

I respond to most of them, mostly to let them know that they are ignorant and what to do in order engage me in actual conversation. I generally do this quietly, commenting and leaving it alone.

But sometimes, like today, I'm going to place in my first post of 2010 an excellent bad example of how to comment and my reply as a guide to those conservatives who still don't get that independent thought might actually make others think a little.

The post was Right Wing Glurge SPAM: Political Correctness in which I discuss some junk mail that came through and the dubious claims of origin and how nowhere on the internet could there be found proof of such origins.

Someone said they loved the dubious definition. I called them a sycophant, and someone else - Canoebutt - replied:

About as educated a sycophant as one that would list his astrological sign on his bio page as if it actually meant something. How is life in your mother's basement?

I believe my reply covers it:

Canoebutt-
Sorry to disappoint, but I own my own home and my own business.

One of the things I tend to discuss from time to time is the technical ineptitude of conservatives. Thank you for proving my point.

For your education and benefit: Google inserts the astrological sign if you input your birthday as an obfuscation of the actual birth date.

Also: your attack, which is generally referred to as ad hominem means you have no argument against ideas and resort to attacking the person. But as we've already covered, you cannot even do that correctly.

Remove yourself from the Limbaugh man-teat and speak intelligently about things you actually understand. People might take you seriously.

Note to the trolls: Just plain mean or insulting will get your comment deleted. Parroting talk show hosts and Fox News talking points or ad hominem attacks will get you called out. Stupid might win you ridicule.

You think I'm wrong and you're right, then argue a solid point with decent backing. I will read. I will reply. We will converse.

If you don't think you can do that, while it may reduce my enjoyment, you might want to reconsider posting a comment. You'll just be proving all the zombie myrmidon stereotypes we already know to be mostly true.

And for the love of all things holy, try not to reference anything having to do with the internet. It's just better that way.