Saturday, April 09, 2011

Jesus Babies: The Real Conservative Crusade

You've heard conservatives lament the horror of Anchor Babies: children born on American soil, making them American citizens, to the parents of illegal immigrants. It's the theme, purpose, and strategy of the immigrants and it must be stopped!

You may have also heard the paranoid rantings of some elected officials blathering on about Terror Babies. These are the Taliban counterparts to their Hispanic compatriots and should completely scare the crap out of us because, um, terrorists, duh!

(Your mission: draw cute, cartoon-y versions of stereotypical illegal immigrants and terrorists - as babies. Awwww...watcha watcha intafada taco? Brrth?)

But the real point of this post is that the sometime raving and ranting on the right over the Anchor and Terror Babies betrays the real reason for their perplexing focus of women's health care and Planned Parenthood: Jesus Babies.

It's the same reason (in my opinion) Christianity and other religions encoded into their doctrines the need to consummate a marriage and avoid birth control: more babies means more Christians. Some estimates have white people as a minority in the USA by 2042, and that scares the shit out of the rich, white right wing. More babies, more Whites, more babies, more Christians.

And yet they're wrong again. The growing secular population in America paired with the growing liberal - moving forward - crowd will actually mean less Christians, less 100% white people. It will mean more abortions - legal or not - and more deaths and more illness and more orphaned children.

In their heads, the brown people are winning the population race. And they don't know what to do about it. So? Apply Christian doctrine to law!

This is just me, but:

"Liberals look back at the last 50 years, figure we've done pretty well moving forward in the rights of women and minorities, but know there's much yet to do. Conservatives look back 50 years and are horrified that it still doesn't look like that now."

-Ricky Shambles


Sorry conservatives, but "Where's Mammy with my mint julep?" is never coming back.

3 comments:

lunamother said...

Sitting as I am in the Shiny Buckle of the Bible Belt- yea verily 20 meager miles from the office of Louie "Terror Babies" Goehmert, all I can say is AMEN, BROTHER- YOU NAILED IT SQUARE ON THE HEAD!

Sioux said...

And hopefully, "Pass me wire coat hanger," will never return, either.

Cake Betch said...

Uggg... Sioux's comment makes me shudder. Have you ever read stuff about women who had 'back alley' abortions? It's horrifying.