No More Nipple Twists for Cincinnati Priests!

Are you fucking kidding me?

CINCINNATI (AP) — The Archdiocese of Cincinnati has issued a detailed list of inappropriate behaviors for priests, saying they should not kiss, tickle or wrestle children.

The newest version of the archdiocese's Decree on Child Protection also prohibits bear hugs, lap-sitting and piggyback rides.

But it says priests may still shake children's hands, pat them on the back and give high-fives.

Victim advocates who have criticized the Roman Catholic archdiocese for its handling of abuse cases say they support the new measures as a step toward better protection of children.

The Cincinnati archdiocese says it updates the rules every five years. The latest version, issued last week, also mandates background checks for contractors working with children.

Because that wrestling move, the tickle-kiss, is gaining somewhat of a stigma even though innocent priests keep getting tagged because of it. Perhaps the lap-sit-to-piggyback combo (is that like ass-to-mouth?) is causing concern.

NO - What the fuck!

Allow me to preclude the following comments with: 99% of Catholic priests are pious, honorable men.

But the bad apples? They enter the priesthood with or without the understanding that they like little boys, that they are pedophiles. They need to be weeded out.

And I don't know how you do that. Maybe. Hey, witch hunts worked during the Inquisition. Go big or go home!