Saturday, May 14, 2011

Cum Bubbles & Cat Pee: Ah, the Smells of Spring!

I've already written about the natural odors of semen and cat piss that accost me every Spring, so I won't got into all the details of self-discovery, but here's the skinny:


This time of year I am overwhelmed with the smell of feline urine, like a poorly maintained litter box, and in this weather it's like a poorly maintained litter box in a warm, damp basement. I have discovered it comes from the Juniper, the fuzzy-looking bush that can grow narrow and tall or low and creeping. And I am apparently one of the very few people whose nose so knows the smell in quite that way. I've found about half a dozen online, but my family thinks I'm a little mad because they don't sense a thing.

Bradford Pear Tree
Bradford Pear

And every once in a while, if I'm lucky, I get a chance to whiff something familiar, though not something you'd expect while walking about or driving, like getting my nose rubbed into a wet dream: semen. This comes from the Bradford Pear Tree, and appears to be a much more common recognition than the Juniper cat pee connection.

So there you go. That's my olfactory experience of Spring. Every year. Yum!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Well, that sounds unpleasant. Around here, the Mountain Ash trees smell like rotten meat for about a week when they flower. Then everything is fine again.

GoofyGirl said...

Best. Blog-Post. Title. EVER! ♥

Kyna said...

Bradford Pears DO kind of smell like semen, don't they? On a recent walk I was trying to figure out just exactly what they smelled like. There's a mix of something else in there, but there's definitely a semen smell....'cause no one knows semen smell like I know semen smell.

Just sayin'.

Wow. It's hard to comment on this post without sounding like a total slut.

Ricky Shambles said...

Debra- I can't imagine the rot smell, but pee is pretty bad :)

GoofyGirl- Thanks! It sucks, but finally figuring it out 2 years ago was at least a justification that I wasn't going crazy or having a brain tumor.

Kyna- Understood, just as I can describe the nuances makes me a chronic masturbater. Or gay. Or both. Really, I'm just attentive.

Blueberry said...

Maybe Spring allergies and the clogged nose that goes with them are a blessing.

Cake Betch said...

There were a bunch of people on Twitter talking about this too!! I have no idea what you're talking about; I definitely never smell urine or sperm in the air during the spring. Lol.

Ricky Shambles said...

Blue- Preach!

Cake- Wish for the smell to never reach you.

mr hixpoi said...


If you’ve got a cat that keeps peeing all over your house, it becomes annoying after a while.

The bad smells and the effort involved in cleaning up makes life a misery.

So much so that some people consider getting rid of their cat...

Cuz that seems to be the only logical way to solve the problem.

But the great news is you don’t have to do this.

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Talk soon,