I Love You Roomba Cat

Trippy Kitty

Um, yeah, so I saw this today. Enjoy.

Cat Piss & Cum Shots: Spring Stinks!

It's that time of year again! Oh, the stanks of spring. Cat pee is one of them. Semen is another. Now I love my honeysuckle and my lilac bush, but urine and jizz should not fit in.

You can read my giant treatise on cum bubbles and cat pee here, but here's the gist:

To me - and three other people I've been in contact with online - juniper smells like cat pee. My entire family thinks I'm nuts because they do not experience the same thing. And it's not a faint smell, a subtle waft of something encompassed in a cornucopia of exotic complexity; when I drive to the grocery store that's surrounded by it and my car vents are open this time of year, it smells like one of my cats just took a concentrated, stinking, steaming piss in the back seat. (I would love to talk to anyone who's had the same experience. It took me two years to figure it out.)

The Bradford Pear tree smells like semen. LOTS more people have experienced this one. It's not as horribly strong as the juniper, not like "Who just rubbed one off on my face?" - more like grabbing your laundry the afternoon after you had a wet dream and catching the odor of the semi-dry, cool, musty gob emanate from the pile.

It's spring! You've been warned.

French Cat Suffers From Ennui

Is it weird I feel like this cat? Often?

Bachmann, Infomercials, Talking Vag, WarKitteh - Youtubes!

Oh, let's take a funny break. Been a little serious lately.

I love the internet.



Some awful infomercials?



Speaking of commercials, this is not fake.



Medal of Honor Cat


I sometimes fear that our age will be remembered in history not for its achievements in science or the arts but for...internet videos about cats.


Oh, and this, a senior citizen one-take dub. Seriously worth the watch. Kinda creepy though.


Amen. Have a great weekend.

Cum Bubbles & Cat Pee: Ah, the Smells of Spring!

I've already written about the natural odors of semen and cat piss that accost me every Spring, so I won't got into all the details of self-discovery, but here's the skinny:


Juniper

This time of year I am overwhelmed with the smell of feline urine, like a poorly maintained litter box, and in this weather it's like a poorly maintained litter box in a warm, damp basement. I have discovered it comes from the Juniper, the fuzzy-looking bush that can grow narrow and tall or low and creeping. And I am apparently one of the very few people whose nose so knows the smell in quite that way. I've found about half a dozen online, but my family thinks I'm a little mad because they don't sense a thing.


Bradford Pear

And every once in a while, if I'm lucky, I get a chance to whiff something familiar, though not something you'd expect while walking about or driving, like getting my nose rubbed into a wet dream: semen. This comes from the Bradford Pear Tree, and appears to be a much more common recognition than the Juniper cat pee connection.

So there you go. That's my olfactory experience of Spring. Every year. Yum!

Cute Break

Enough of all the bullshit and politics and Obama and Ryan and Trump and Hannity and Beck and sanctimony and flip-flopping and hypocrisy. STFU!



Okay. Now, back to business.

Kitten in a Hat

Just a wash to help that last post descend a bit. Enjoy!

Kitten vs. Newborn '08

Lest we forget that it's not just an Obama/McCain campaign, I'd like to take a moment to recognize the true battle raging in America today:

Brad Espisito


vs.

Frank Tambanelli


It's the classic struggle of kitten vs. newborn, the epic tail of the cute kitty vs. a baby in a suit.

Visit the sites. Watch the videos. Laugh your ass off. Thank Adult Swim.

It should come as no surprise: I'm voting for the kitty.

Yoda the Four-Eared Cat

Yoda:



...or Evil Kitty.

I do believe we'll be sticking with a feline theme today.