Thursday, April 19, 2012

Cat Piss & Cum Shots: Spring Stinks!

It's that time of year again! Oh, the stanks of spring. Cat pee is one of them. Semen is another. Now I love my honeysuckle and my lilac bush, but urine and jizz should not fit in.

You can read my giant treatise on cum bubbles and cat pee here, but here's the gist:

To me - and three other people I've been in contact with online - juniper smells like cat pee. My entire family thinks I'm nuts because they do not experience the same thing. And it's not a faint smell, a subtle waft of something encompassed in a cornucopia of exotic complexity; when I drive to the grocery store that's surrounded by it and my car vents are open this time of year, it smells like one of my cats just took a concentrated, stinking, steaming piss in the back seat. (I would love to talk to anyone who's had the same experience. It took me two years to figure it out.)

The Bradford Pear tree smells like semen. LOTS more people have experienced this one. It's not as horribly strong as the juniper, not like "Who just rubbed one off on my face?" - more like grabbing your laundry the afternoon after you had a wet dream and catching the odor of the semi-dry, cool, musty gob emanate from the pile.

It's spring! You've been warned.

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