Saturday, May 14, 2011

Cum Bubbles & Cat Pee: Ah, the Smells of Spring!

I've already written about the natural odors of semen and cat piss that accost me every Spring, so I won't got into all the details of self-discovery, but here's the skinny:


Juniper

This time of year I am overwhelmed with the smell of feline urine, like a poorly maintained litter box, and in this weather it's like a poorly maintained litter box in a warm, damp basement. I have discovered it comes from the Juniper, the fuzzy-looking bush that can grow narrow and tall or low and creeping. And I am apparently one of the very few people whose nose so knows the smell in quite that way. I've found about half a dozen online, but my family thinks I'm a little mad because they don't sense a thing.

Bradford Pear Tree
Bradford Pear

And every once in a while, if I'm lucky, I get a chance to whiff something familiar, though not something you'd expect while walking about or driving, like getting my nose rubbed into a wet dream: semen. This comes from the Bradford Pear Tree, and appears to be a much more common recognition than the Juniper cat pee connection.

So there you go. That's my olfactory experience of Spring. Every year. Yum!

7 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Well, that sounds unpleasant. Around here, the Mountain Ash trees smell like rotten meat for about a week when they flower. Then everything is fine again.

GoofyGirl said...

Best. Blog-Post. Title. EVER! ♥

Kyna said...

Bradford Pears DO kind of smell like semen, don't they? On a recent walk I was trying to figure out just exactly what they smelled like. There's a mix of something else in there, but there's definitely a semen smell....'cause no one knows semen smell like I know semen smell.

Just sayin'.

Wow. It's hard to comment on this post without sounding like a total slut.

Ricky Shambles said...

Debra- I can't imagine the rot smell, but pee is pretty bad :)

GoofyGirl- Thanks! It sucks, but finally figuring it out 2 years ago was at least a justification that I wasn't going crazy or having a brain tumor.

Kyna- Understood, just as I can describe the nuances makes me a chronic masturbater. Or gay. Or both. Really, I'm just attentive.

Blueberry said...

Maybe Spring allergies and the clogged nose that goes with them are a blessing.

Cake Betch said...

There were a bunch of people on Twitter talking about this too!! I have no idea what you're talking about; I definitely never smell urine or sperm in the air during the spring. Lol.

Ricky Shambles said...

Blue- Preach!

Cake- Wish for the smell to never reach you.