Romney: Liar Campaign

Feel free to steal. Figured out they're using Trajan Pro as a font and decided to have some fun.

Don't Debate Me, Bro!

About the debate:

I think most of the post-debate speculation/analysis was and continues to be red meat hyperbole catering to the barking masses on both sides and about as useless as the campaign commercials. I think Obama phoned it in. I also think that if it had been Obama acting in Romney's role, the right wing headlines would be crying about how petulant, disrespectful, disruptive, staggering, and out of control he was with a touch of something about how he changes the rules to fit his "agenda." We'd certainly get at least one pundit pushing out an "angry black man" claim. I think Romney controlled the debate (or was perceived to do so), but my take was of a socially awkward teen not sure quite how to do so. "Shut up, Dad!" At several points watching both candidates I was questioning if I was watching Saturday Night Live.


Also, did Mitt just call Obama "bro?"

Quick Update: The RNC Gots Me All Wrapped Up

Hey folks. Been tied up staring at the stupid at the RNC last couple days - if you want to see what I've been doing (read: "who I've been trolling"), you can click on my twitter info in the right column. All about twitter on this because shooting off my tweet mouth is way easier than doing a comprehensive analysis of all the lies. It would take me months and then my head would explode so you wouldn't get to read it anyway.

My most recent tweet is one of those things few people noticed, as far as me noticing what other people noticed by noticing their notices goes: Last night Paul Ryan, in an vapid attempt to push his relative youth in the "Hey, yeah, I gots me one of them iDoohickeys, I shore do. Hip, huh guys?" bid failed miserably. Yeah, he likes that Rock n Roll all right (and part of every day). His playlist goes from AC/DC to Zeppelin. I suppose he only likes all rad jams up to the letter "L." Or he's a liar. If he actually listened to Led Zeppelin, he would know better.

Who writes his shit?

Well, gotta run. Time to pick up my drink-on for tonight. Robo-Romney is poised to unimpress everyone and there's even hints that they're going to animate Ronald Reagan as a hologram, just like Tupac. I shit you not. Which means some "those infernal computer machines!" conservatives paid some techie liberals to build Holo-Reagan. They have the technology.

I'm hoping against hope to see a headline tomorrow: "Dem Sabotage - Hologram Reagan says 'Romney suck a dick. I'm out bitches. Peace!'"

Mormonism, Conservatives, and Hate of Obama

Last weekend I caught an African-American Christian preacher on some AM station somewhere in the nowhere between Columbus and Cincinnati hissing with anger at anyone who would dare vote for such a man as Obama. Why? Obama is pro-choice. If you're pro-choice, you're a terrible sinner, and to vote for Obama would therefore be a real-world support for Obama's sin.

So I got to thinking on that topic and wondered: If conservative Christians are willing to dig so deep into these single aspects of Obama's politics/beliefs, equate them with religion, and say that to support Obama is to support all his sins, how does the general Christian voting for Romney - a member of the Church of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, aka Mormons) - weigh against their belief system?


Awww hell, we ain't even draft dodgin'. We stone-cold door-to-door'in' with some New-est Testament LDS evangelizin' rhymes.

For those who don't know, Mormonism was begun by Joseph Smith who, in 1820's USA, spoke to an angel who pointed him to a nearby hill that contained golden plates (left by Jesus' ancient follower-settlers, natch!) inscribed with a new Testament of the Bible which he translated out of pure inspiration and became The Book of Mormon. Huzzah!

This entire book, the foundation of their belief system and Word of God, is dismissed - sometimes as heresy - by every other Christian sect in the world.


Sad, Sad Conversation

So I thought I'd bring it up to an online group I sometimes converse with on politics and religion. I'm the only liberal, but I swear I wasn't trolling. I was genuinely interested: how are conservative Christians reconciling their belief disparity with someone they are willing to put in the White House?

And it didn't matter. Most of them, despite citing "ignorance of Mormonism" as a reason why some might not vote for Romney, had very little knowledge of - or desire to learn about - Mormonism.

(Note: I have nothing against Mormonism or their belief system or Mormons themselves. What I'm trying to do here is push someone [many someones] who use Obama's Reverend Wright's Black Liberation Theology as a go-to for "N0bama" [and that's a Glenn Beck parrot talking] to recognize what Mormonism even is.)

And forget reconciling belief systems; they just didn't care that there was a difference.

• The book of Mormon states that Jesus, post-Resurrection, chilled with Middle-East disciples then came to America (remember ancient settlers/believers?), healed some sick, preached a little gospel, set up disciples to spread the church to the Americas, and peace-out back to heaven? "Meh."
• The LDS Church regularly - as in now - baptizes the souls of the non-Mormon deceased. Pope John Paul II may very well be Mormon as he's been baptized posthumously - repeatedly. "Eh."
• The Book of Mormon talks about a star or planet named Kolob that is closest to the seat of God?
• Mitt used the Church of LDS to dodge Vietnam by travelling to France (he speaks French!) to go door-to-door evangelizing?
• Mitt Romney's father was born in Mexico because his grandparents fled the US because of anti-polygamy laws?

Take-Away

"Hey, you hear about that Black Liberation Theology? That's crazy!"

I could've told them that Mitt Romney believed that he had an alien mouse in his head running levers and a wheel and it would've been agreed upon and dismissed. These supposedly smart people knew very little about Mormonism and had little care to; they had already made up their mind.

And I agree that most of us have made up our mind and the millions spent from now to November will be on the 5% undecided. But there's no logic there, no reasoning involved: they hate Hate HATE Obama. For some it's race, for some it's BLT (Obama's pastor's church's tangential, barely-related philosophy bolstered to scare white people, not the delicious sammich), but for everyone, it's the "othering," the demonization of the man that has been going on for over six years.

Though, to be fair, I can't imagine what words would convert me to voting for Romney.

And so I guess that's where we're at in this election.

Any thoughts?


UPDATE: In this whole thought/forum experiment I failed to recall perhaps one of the most important issues in dealing with why Romney's religion is not much of an issue: over half of all Republicans do not identify Obama as Christian. That's a large piece of the equation I failed to include.

Boy Scout Bigots & Romney Racism

Today's a little bit of a hodgepodge, but all of it worth it.




Speaking of Comedy Central, if you haven't heard, the Boy Scouts of America have re-upped their anachronistic stance that homosexuals are NO GO in their group. Jon Stewart had a nice bit on it.

The Daily Show
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And I thought a change to their logo would be appropriate. Feel free to steal and share:



I'll readily admit it's not happening as quickly as it should be, but it is really exciting to watch this all happen, to see large corporations and public entities and public figures stand up and declare solidarity with equal rights for same sex couples. I wasn't alive for the fight over Civil Rights (though I understand that struggle continues), but it is a joy to see these flailing organizations flabbergasted over everyone calling their cherry-picking out of a 2000+ year old book what it is: bigotry.

We still have a long way to go before "all men are created equal" means what it says, but there is progress.


And if you feel like being astounded, here's what a Romney adviser stated upon arriving in London:

When explaining why Romney would have a better grasp of the relationship between the United States and the U.K., the adviser had this to say—

We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special. The White House didn't fully appreciate the shared history we have.

Happy Wednesday!

Rmoney Spelchekk v.2

Last week we took a look at how Mitt Romney put the "Merci" back in Amercia for his new iPhone app. Yowza.

But that was last week. This is now:



I imagine that a "sneak peak" would be something akin to stealth masturbation?

Mitt Romney's AMERCIA

No, you read that right. In an effort to get jiggy with the cool kids, Mitt Romney has released an iPhone app, "I'm With Mitt" in which you can do some low-rent Instagram work and let everyone in your social networks know that you're a gimmicky tool.

Problem with the app?

They've spelled America wrong.



Personally, I think it's a throw-back to Mitt's draft-dodging Mormon missionary work in France.

Romney 2012: Putting the "Merci" back in Amercia


Then again, it's no surprise at all. I've said it before: conservatives have very little understanding of two things liberals command: humor and technology.

And why no Android app?

Santorum Splattered by Santorum. Ewww.

For those of you who are not aware of the Santorum Google bomb that redefined Santorum on Google Search for all time, please Google Santorum. For those of you who do, please enjoy this video by Santorum of "Romney Smear Campaign Guy" shooting paper cutouts of Santorum with what looks like, well, Santorum. Ewww. Splat!

Who's on First? Mitt and Newt

Romney's Secret Service Name?

Even though to get a cool code name, gossip is you actually have to be POTUS, Mitt Romney gets secret service detail today and Twitter is HAWT with code name suggestions for Mittens. Check out #RomneySecretServiceCodeName for some solid laugh time.

My suggestions will be in my twitter feed at this link and, of course, in the right column of this blog.

Mitt Romney - Bad Lip Reading Joy!

You peed yourself over Rick Perry, so here's some Romney from BLR. Enjoy!

I've Got a Huntsman Thang Going

After tonight's Republican debate, if you were to ask me who I would vote for on the Republican ticket, I'd go Huntsman.

Seriously. Even as a liberal so f'ing left I can't even see "right," I'm pretty pissed about some of the shit Obama has and hasn't passed.

You bring in Huntsman, I might have to pause.

I want me some Huntsman. Some awesome, loud, angry Huntsman. I want him to get angry and start yelling and hollering and showing up on Newt's doorstep in a cape. C'mon, gimme some Huntsman.

I'll say it again, solidly with all caps: IF HUNTSMAN IS THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE, I WOULD GIVE SERIOUS CONSIDERATION TO THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FOR 2012.

Luckily (unfortunately), the GOP and GOP media will happily designate Perry (Paul "crazy" and Romney "Muslim" - I mean Mormon - and everyone else black, female, or crazy) the front-runner.

Heaven help us. I think we need some angels with swords right about now.

Romney Goes Legit 2 Quit

That's the logo. Apparently toothpaste is his thing. I smell nanny state and Romneycare and sister wives colliding with America. You know, those "true ideals" that non-Mormon conservatives change every six months.

Not sure what's suckier: the shitty branding or (if you look at the source code) that he chose to bring his message to America in a low-rent Wordpress template (ooh, probably the same source, a cousin perchance? who took this one course this one time on websites and totally can program and stuff?). Basic PR calls for custom design, programming, SEO, and that's just on the web side! Looks like he started his campaign by creating a job ...for an intern.


Sorry: Edit: Believe in America? Um, we already do. Thanks. Obama's message of Hope worked because many of us lost that with Bush. The left, the right, the gun-toting living bibles? We all believe in America. Well, our version. So, wait, what's Mitt's version of America? Mormon intifada? Sister Wives Sharia Law? Hell, we'll just get Glenn on Fox to expose... Holy Shit! He quit (was fired) and he's Mormon too!

What fresh torture have we just entered? What of Satan's carnal jubilation have we awoken? This is hell-jizz territory. Get a hat.

Baptist Sanctimony Hits Mitt

A remnant from last week from the Dallas News:

A prominent Dallas minister told his congregation that if they wanted to elect a Christian to the White House, Republican Mitt Romney wasn't qualified.

Dr. Robert Jeffress, pastor of First Baptist Church of Dallas, said Mormonism is a false religion and that Mr. Romney was not a Christian.

"Mitt Romney is a Mormon, and don't let anybody tell you otherwise," Dr. Jeffress said in a sermon on Sept. 30. "Even though he talks about Jesus as his Lord and savior, he is not a Christian. Mormonism is not Christianity. Mormonism is a cult."

Lest we forget a little cult that was kicking it in the early A.C.E. claiming this cat Jesus was hot for the spot of savior and fit all the indications that he was the Neo of that time. Lest we forget (or perhaps learn) that this little cult was one amongst hundreds, and through charisma or chance, pushed up and through and only hundreds of years later became an imperialistic, sadistic juggernaut capable of the self-labeling of "religion" and garnering the distinction of being able to put down other "cults."

As the "pot" and the "kettle" thing goes, I attacked this back in February on All Things Democrat:

The Christians are pissed at the Mormons because the Christians had a perfectly good religious tradition, canonical texts, and established doctrine solidly in place, about 2000 years in the making. And then some prophet shows up. You got new texts, new rules, new ideas, and the Mormon faith, all shiny and new, is just a tainted, bastardized add-on of an already-lovely religion.

Now wait, that sounds familiar.

Let me switch some stuff up here and - wow, only 4 words - go!

The Jews are pissed at the Christians because the Jews had a perfectly good religious tradition, canonical texts, and established doctrine solidly in place, about 2000 years in the making. And then some prophet shows up. You got new texts, new rules, new ideas, and the Christian faith, all shiny and new, is just a tainted, bastardized add-on of an already-lovely religion.

Mommmm! Joseph Smith won’t stop copying me!

Personally, I've had enough of the sanctimonious bullshit; I've had enough of the walls leaders build in the name of unity.

You want cult? I find I always get a fresh perspective from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

Christians believe that a cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple of discernment from a magical tree.

I was just about to say that.

Kids, Sex Ed, Obama Throws, Romney Ducks

Best article I could find on the topic was the ABC News version entitled "Sex Ed for Kindergartners?" (via Drudge).

Here's the rundown:

• Obama reaffirms an issue almost 4 years old with Planned Parenthood, stating "age-appropriate" sex ed should begin in kindergarten.
• Romney's all "No one in my state said there wasn't enough sex ed."
• Someone points out Massachusetts has sex ed plan that can begin in pre-kindergarten
• "We had not awareness, no input and certainly did not promote these curriculum frameworks," said Fehrnstrom, who served as Romney's communications director all four years that he was governor.
• Obama, sitting in his living room quietly whispers "Ooh, snap. I'm good."

As Obama stated, kids knowing the difference between good touching and bad touching is a good thing, and that would fall under sex education. Back in 2004: "If they ask a teacher 'where do babies come from,' that providing information that the fact is that it's not a stork is probably not an unhealthy thing. Although again, that's going to be determined on a case by case basis by local communities and local school boards.'"

Personally, I had the "puberty/boys 'n' girls/basic sex/ask me anything" talk with our daughter when she was in 3rd grade, just after she turned 9.

Take your moment to gasp. (Oh, the humanity!)

Why would I do such a thing? Because kids in 3rd grade are already talking about it, trading horribly incorrect information, whether from older siblings or something misinterpreted on Skinemax. Little girls in 5th grade are giving little boys in fifth grade blow jobs. It's not happening everywhere, but it's happening, and it only gets worse in Jr. High. And if you have kids, YOU need to be established as an approachable expert and authority concerning sex NOW.

We no longer live in the world where I grew up, where 7th grade started the bra boom, and we're eons from the reality in which Obama or Romney copped their first feel.

But if Mitt Romney wants to remain oblivious to reality around him and tell these children, their minds being torn asunder by hormones and emerging sexual identity, that they should just not have sex, to just say no to naughtiness, then that is his prerogative.

Personally, I'm not too worried. Should by some Joseph Smith revival miracle of asshattery Mitt Romney actually win the presidency, the best way to tell how a person will act in the future is to look at their past actions; he was so absent-minded and ineffective concerning sex ed policies in one state, how is he going to effect change in 50?

Synopsis: Obama runs away with this one.

And in a totally underhanded and unassociated train of thought deliberately designed to alienate Mitt Romney based on his religion: Did you know Mormons wear funny underwear?



Okay, not entirely unrelated; perhaps that's how they can be so nonchalant about abstinence: no one's getting laid in those.